Bob quotes from South Park

Mr. and Mrs. White?

Yes?

We all heard about your tragic loss. I'd love to help out however I can. Is there something specific you're looking for?

We... don't really know.

Well, we've got all kinds here, depending on your preferences. Here's a little Panamanian. They're very clean. This is a Colombian Shorthair. Oh, and this is a good one. This is a Baja Shepherd.

Quiero a mi papá. Quiero a mi mamá. ("I want my dad. I want my mom.")

Bien, gracias. ¿Y tú? ("Fine, thanks. And you?")

Oh, honey. Look at the Peruvian Hairless.

Yes, they're pretty silly-looking. Great with kids though.

Hey, what's this little guy?

Oh, this is a purebred Mexican. He's had all his shots. Parents were deported two weeks ago. Here, we can let him run around a little bit. [opens the kennel to let the boy out]

[steps out] Mi familia. ¿Dónde está? ("My family. Where is it?")',

Bien, gracias. ¿Y tú? ("Fine, thanks. And you?")

Oh, Bob, he's kind of perfect!

Hello, little fella. How would you like to be a White?

What's this all about? Did we do something wrong?

[turns around, facing the family] God damn right you did something wrong! Our public school system is dying and you tutors are trying to take advantage of it!

But we were just trying to be like you!

You'll never be like me! I've been a teacher for over 30 years! I'm just trying to get my old life back and assholes keep getting in my way!

But we have to tell children the truth! They have to know!

They have to know what?!

About-- about the whole thing! About the vaccinations! That the pandemic was blown out of proportion!

That Venezuelan socialists switched out circuit boards from voting machines in 12 states!

Good, sweetie! [looks back up at Mr. Garrison] Don't you understand everything is being manipulated!

[turns around] Everyone's being manipulated... So that's why everyone in town is being such an inconsiderate jerk about me coming back?

Yes. They don't want people to like you. They need people to hate you!

Who are they?

They're the elites. They do whatever they want and they feed on the pain and torture of children! And if anybody starts to care, they'll just cut us off when we tell the truth!

Don't give in to them! They're trying to make a joke of everything! That's what they do!

How do the elites control Mr. Service's balls?

You still don't get it, do you?! They don't just drink adrenochrome, they run the show! The whole damn show! [a cursor appears suddenly, messing with his appearance] It comes down to two people -- Oh, you don't like that, do you?! That's getting a little close to home, huh?! You can't control me anymore, you sons of bitches! [cursor continues to alter him in various ways] They're making fun of me to try and discredit my beliefs! [Is transformed into an obese woman wearing a dress, then a large penis] Oh, you don't like that, do you!? Don't want the world to know that!

Listen! Listen, whoever you are! I don't give a shit what you do!

What?! What are you saying?!

Please! I just want my old life back!

[turned into a pig] No, stop! They're monsters!

I don't care what you do to kids, I just want people to like me again!

You son of a bitch! Aah! [runs towards Garrison]

AAH! Mr. Service! [show freezes; whole frame turns, revealing multiple layers of animation; walking back and forth] Ah, oh, okay, what the hell is this? Hey, come back! [frame turns back to normal, albeit mirrored] How would you like to make a deal?