Jeff Bezos quotes from South Park

Stan

Mayor, we demand you cancel the bike parade!

Cartman

It is nihilistic and out of touch with progressive thinking!

[puts his feet up and communicates telepathically] What's the matter? Afraid you wouldn't win?

Stan

It's him.

Hello, Bezos. You can take your fulfillment center and fulfill it right up your ass! You see, there's one thing you didn't count on, and that's Tegridy! [focusing on the townspeople's bloodshot eyes] Just look in the eyes of these people. Everyone has Tegridy now - Tegridy that you will never understand! We aren't just different classes of people anymore! We are a town!

[beat] Are you all high?

No. [the townspeople murmur in agreement] Why do you ask that?

Because I'm over here!

Oh. [walks around the crowd to face Bezos] Hang on. Hold on. Okay. I got it. Anyways. You see Tegridy is something that can't be understood by big corporations. Oh, they'll try to package Tegridy, but only I can really package Tegridy. I got more money now 'cause of Tegridy. That's because I figured out how to get Tegridy to everyone. And that's - now everyone is in this state of Tegridy that's impenetrable. Am I making sense?

NO!

The point is nobody's coming to work for you! So you can take your whole plan and fulfill it somewhere else!

Damn you, Tegridy!!!

Mr. and Mrs. White?

Yes?

We all heard about your tragic loss. I'd love to help out however I can. Is there something specific you're looking for?

We... don't really know.

Well, we've got all kinds here, depending on your preferences. Here's a little Panamanian. They're very clean. This is a Colombian Shorthair. Oh, and this is a good one. This is a Baja Shepherd.

Quiero a mi papá. Quiero a mi mamá. ("I want my dad. I want my mom.")

Bien, gracias. ¿Y tú? ("Fine, thanks. And you?")

Oh, honey. Look at the Peruvian Hairless.

Yes, they're pretty silly-looking. Great with kids though.

Hey, what's this little guy?

Oh, this is a purebred Mexican. He's had all his shots. Parents were deported two weeks ago. Here, we can let him run around a little bit. [opens the kennel to let the boy out]

[steps out] Mi familia. ¿Dónde está? ("My family. Where is it?")',

Bien, gracias. ¿Y tú? ("Fine, thanks. And you?")

Oh, Bob, he's kind of perfect!

Hello, little fella. How would you like to be a White?