Strong Woman quotes from South Park

Alright, everyone. Listen up. As you all know, we've been looking for a strong woman to take on the role of vice principal at this school. We couldn't be happier with the selection we've made and we're sure she'll be making our school a better place. So with that let me turn over the floor to our new vice principal, Strong Woman. [applause all around]

Thanks everyone. Alright, listen up. [gathers her papers up] I fully appreciate that some of you might be uncomfortable with me being here. Earlier today, I noticed that some faculty weren't sure whether to call me "Miss Woman" or just "Strong." If I were a man, you'd probably address me as Vice Principal Woman, so why should it be any different, huh? We good?

Uhm'kay.

So I've been getting to know some of the students here and I'm definitely hearing a lot of frustration and confusion over issues that all the schools are facing right now. I also spent some time observing in the cafeteria and was pretty shocked by the abusive and intolerant language. [as she speaks, Hootie & The Blowfish's "Hold My Hand" begins to play in PC Principal's head] Not sure if any of you have noticed, but a lot of the girls are eating their lunches out on the playground to avoid being around the toxic environment that's been created. It's my intention to make the cafeteria... P.E. class is another huge problem at this school. The girls' gym outfits seem not to have been updated since the '60s. We have a lot of work to do here. I intend to do it quickly. [in PC Principal's mind, everything around her fades out and all he sees is her against a pink background with hearts everywhere, soon replaced by flowers and leaves, then a blue sky with clouds]

Excuse me uh, I'm sorry, but uh, is anyone else hearing Hootie & The Blowfish like, very very softly?

Yeah, yeah, I hear it.

[rises and walks towards PC Principal] It's, it's coming from over here somewhere.

E-excuse me everyone, I um, I need to get to the restroom. Sorry, I'll be right back. [rushes out the door, and the song disappears with him]

My babies! Where are they?

Shh. It's okay. The babies are fine. Resting in the nursery. They're the most... They're the most PC babies I've ever seen.

You shouldn't be here. People will start getting suspicious!

Kids, kids. Okay, what's the matter?

Oh, no, I left Disney+ on and it went to "Mulan."

They don't like Mulan?

No, because Mulan is a female that identifies as male and yet the movie doesn't take the time to address real trans issues.

Okay, okay, we know! [takes the remote and turns off the TV] "Mulan" is outdated in creating straw dog characters to talk about trans issues! Daddy's turning it off! [switches to another channel]

[entering PC Principal's office] PC Principal, do you have a minute?

Sure, Jesus, what do you need?

I'm starting to wonder if I really fit in here.

Of course you fit in. This school has been a zest-pool of heathen, left-wing little bitches, and only our faith is gonna set them right.

Could I ask… exactly what branch of Christianity are you?

The kind who loves his country and doesn't tolerate any fucking fags.

Yeah, see, I really think I don't belong here.

Look, I understand it's a tough transition. You know, the Vice Principal here had the same conflict as you. But she's really come around.

The Vice Principal? Your wife?

That's right. [talks to the speaker on his desk] Could you send in Strong Christian Woman please? She was saying the same thing that this wasn’t a place for her anymore but just this last weekend she converted to Christianity.

[knocks on the door] You wanted to see me?

Yeah, Strong Christian Woman, I was just telling Jesus about our faith.

Oh, yes, it's been such a blessing.

She converted on Saturday. What do you think, huh? You ever seen a more Christian chick in your fucking life?

N-n-never.

Look, I know it's a hard adjustment, but just stick with it, and you're gonna fit in here just fine, Jesus.