Field Reporter quotes from South Park

And the Pope said, quote, "A chick bleeding out her vagina is no miracle. Chicks bleed out their vaginas all the time."

[singing] But then I calm myself down, and I pull out my gun! [the crowds screams and panics]

Oh geez, here we go with the gun again. [R. Kelly grabs a nearby woman]'

[singing] If Tom Cruise and John Travolta don't come outta DA closet, I'm gonna cap this bitch!

I'm standing now with Randy Marsh, the owner of Tegridy Burger, and Mr. Marsh, you must be pretty excited. [the crowd behind him across the street begins to cheer him on, and he looks over his shoulder at it]

Yeah-ha, you know, we're all just... we're all just bein' healthy and ethical out here.

Uh-huh. And Mr. Marsh, what about the STUDENT PROTEST COMING OUT AGAINST YOUR BURGER RIGHT NOW?!?

Huh?

Students are coming forward saying that Tegridy Farms is unethical and hypocritical!

Rick

[shows up dressed as a college student in a blond wig] That's right! Tegridy Burger is a fraud! We caught their farm on camera, just take a look!

We warn you, the following footage is graphic. [footage is now showing Randy and Towelie's cow-killing massacre, and after it ends, the crowd behind Randy starts booing at him] Mr. Marsh, what do you have to say about these images?

[being pelted by burgers from the crowd] Ohhh, hey. Fuck you! Oh they were- They were just- We didn't eat 'em.

Cartman

This is going to be the best restaurant in Colorado, Kenny. And I know exactly what we should name it.

Tom, I'm standing out front of a Colorado icon, the old Coney Island Hot Dog, where the owners plan to reopen soon. The hot dog stand is going through major renovations and the new name has just been announced, DikinBaus Hot Dogs is sure to be a big hit here in town.

Cartman

[laughing] He said it! We got him to say dick and balls!

[holding a plate with a hot dog] The owners say they're planning on all kinds of rides and games. And also, with each hot dog served here at DikinBaus Hot Dogs, they actually use the ketchup to put a nice little smiley face on the plate. It's just their sort of trademark touch. The renovations are supposed to be finished soon and the new owners are inviting everyone to come on down, enjoy, and let DikinBaus put a smile on your buns.