“Let Them Eat Goo” quotes from South Park

Rick

Welcome to Burger King. Can I take your order?

Uh, hi, can I get, um, large onion rings... the big Coke Zero and, um... What's an Impossible Burger?

Rick

It's a plant-based burger, sir.

Plant-based? You mean, it's not like a cow?

Rick

No, sir. It's completely vegan, but it's engineered to replicate the taste and texture of beef.

Hoh. Okay, I'll try it. [hands his debit card to Rick as he turns it through and hands it back to him, hands him the receipt and the burger; takes a bite of it] Hey. This tastes like shit. You guys make money off of this?

Rick

They're very popular, sir. A lot of people care about the environment and sustainability.

Aw that, that's amazing. I mean, this seriously tastes like dog shit, and you get people to buy it? [gets an idea] Wait a minute... Plant-based... Plant... basd... Plant-based. Oh my God.

Gerald, thanks for coming! You're not gonna believe this!

Believe what? Your text said that-

Come on come on come on! [pulls him into the kitchen with two burgers sitting on the table] I think I've perfected it, Gerald. I made a sustainable, healthy alternative to meat.want you to try it. [hands Gerald a burger]

It's a hamburger?

It's a Tegridy burger. Go ahead, try it. [Gerald takes a bite and chews it] Well?

This tastes like shit.

Yeah. It's plant-based. But keep eating it, though.

[through the chewing] I just- I just don't think it's very good.

Wait for it. Wait for it..

Oh. [starts to giggle, then Randy joins in]

Yeah ha ha?

Yeah, it's good.

Yeah, right?

[takes another bite and chews on it] Whoa. It's really fucking good, man! This is like the best burger I've ever had!

And you can eat a lot of them and not feel bloated. Towelie's had like 12.

[reclining against a cabinet eating a burger] Best burgers I ever had.

I'm standing now with Randy Marsh, the owner of Tegridy Burger, and Mr. Marsh, you must be pretty excited. [the crowd behind him across the street begins to cheer him on, and he looks over his shoulder at it]

Yeah-ha, you know, we're all just... we're all just bein' healthy and ethical out here.

Uh-huh. And Mr. Marsh, what about the STUDENT PROTEST COMING OUT AGAINST YOUR BURGER RIGHT NOW?!?

Huh?

Students are coming forward saying that Tegridy Farms is unethical and hypocritical!

Rick

[shows up dressed as a college student in a blond wig] That's right! Tegridy Burger is a fraud! We caught their farm on camera, just take a look!

We warn you, the following footage is graphic. [footage is now showing Randy and Towelie's cow-killing massacre, and after it ends, the crowd behind Randy starts booing at him] Mr. Marsh, what do you have to say about these images?

[being pelted by burgers from the crowd] Ohhh, hey. Fuck you! Oh they were- They were just- We didn't eat 'em.