[Mandy opens her bedroom door to find a Russian prostitute with her boyfriend Kenyatta]
KenyattaOh! Shit!
You've got to be kidding me! [Smashing glass is heard with all the Russian women and Mickey at alert]
Kenyatta
[Runs out of room nude and down hall] Ah!
Uh, 'scuse, hey, you mind not swinging that shit around?! You're gonna fuckin' hurt someone!
[Comes up to Mickey's face pointing a hammer in his face] This is your fault!
I'm practically tripping over these bitches. I want them gone, now! I was gone ten fucking minutes!
My bitch of a wife thinks I owe her something. Like I'm the only guy ever dropped a fucking load in her.
MIMan in car
Boys. Ride around the block?
We look like a couple fags for sale to you?
Well, this ain't Macy's, bitch. You ain't window-shopping.
MIMan in car
You're in Boystown, outside a bar called The Fairy Tail.
Why don't you fuck off before I give you a broken spine to go along with that limp wrist? [Mickey picks up a bottle, man drives off and Mickey throws it at the driver] Yeah, get going, you fucking fruit! Thinks he can buy whatever he wants 'cause he's got a fucking Rolex and an S-class. That shit happen to you a lot?
...
You have an econ quiz in two hours.
Uh, right, you know, about that, I-I couldn't help but notice the schedule.
Yeah, no, I thought it might have been you, and you broke it down into five-minute segments. I mean, who schedules something for 12:55?
So you can better manage your time.
Right, but you even put in preset bathroom breaks.
I synced it to your new phone.
Thank you. But seriously, this-- this schedule, it's just-- it's-- it's not me, okay? I'm not used to having my dumps planned out in advance. You know, it's-- I can't-- I can't regiment my life like that, all right?
That's why I'm doing it for you.
Okay, I guess I'm just more of a, uh, fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy.
How's that working out for you?
How 'bout a quick BJ then?
BJ break isn't for another 45 minutes.
...
[Kenyatta walks up to Mickey walking down the street from Mickey's house]
Kenyatta
Hey!
Kenyatta
Mandy, she here last night?
Kenyatta
No, I was at work. I kept calling the house, no answer. Then I call her cell, she say she's at home. She with Lip?
You just keep putting two and two together, huh? Hey, good for you, Einstein.
Kenyatta
[referring to Mickey's house] He in this motherfucker?
Nah, asshole's at college. It's a big place, lots of buildings. People go there to learn. Don't worry about it.
Kenyatta
Man, where at?
West Maxwell. [to Kenyatta while walking away] Hey, you planning on giving a beat down to every guy Mandy's been with? Your arms are gonna get fucking tired!
...
[Carl has just spraypainted "PRINCIPAL RAMIREZ IS CARL GALLAGERS (sic) BITCH" on the school lockers]
You just bought yourself two more weeks' detention.
You know, you misspelled your last name.
[To an unnamed fellow student] Engels, a genius? More like Marx's glorified butt buddy. [Gets text message from Amanda: "Big scary black man coming for you" Lip sees Kenyatta in the distance who has spotted him] Shit. Shit, hold this. [Hands cigarette to student and starts running to main building, hides under table, and Kenyatta pulls him out by legs]
Kenyatta
Mandy!
...
Okay, you didn't want that answer? Excuse me, excuse me. All right, look, we're done though. We're done. Okay? All right, I got a girlfriend.
Kenyatta
Maybe I should do yours like you did mine.
Okay, but only in the ass, all right? She's saving herself.
[Campus security has pulled both Lip and Kenyatta apart] Let's see some ID. Both of you. You go to school here?
Look, I don't-- I don't know him, officers, okay? You know, he just-- he asked if I wanted to buy any crack, and when I said no...
Kenyatta
Fuck you! [Kenyatta lunges for Lip only to be tased by security]
Shameless · 903 quotes
