No, sweetie. Hey, the wedding isn't till this afternoon, okay?
She wants to wear her flower girl dress again.
Why the hell not? She's only gonna wear it once.
[Chuckles] Okay, sweetie. Go on.
Uh, so... about last night.
Mm. [Sirens wailing distantly] Yeah. [Both chuckles] Cool. So... We gotta be at the Bamboo at nine for the flower delivery. And then the caterers are delivering the chairs and shit at ten.
So... You think your uncle's serious about shooting Mickey?
Serious as a heart attack. But he probably won't do it at the wedding. Too many witnesses. [Answers phone] He'll wait till Mickey's alone somewhere or walking to the L or... Holy sh- shit.
The Bamboo Lotus! It's on fire! Dude, it's on fսcking fire!
[Bursts out front door with Debbie, Ian, Mickey and Carl observing into smoke billowing in distance] Oh... fսck.
What the hell's going on?
MickeyWhat?
Mickey
Motherf*****.
[Following Mickey is walking out of house with shotgun] Mickey!
Mickey
Terry Milkovich! You fսcking pig fսckеr!
Mickey
I'm coming for you, you son of a bitch! What the fսck, Sandy?!
Give me the fսck¡ng gun, Mick! [Mickey fires off a shot that shatters van rear window]
Mickey
Fucking...
Get the cuffs. You done? No! You gonna make me hit you again?
Mickey
Fսck you, Gallagher!
Mickey
Yeah. Yeah. Shit.
Hey, hey, hey, birthday Franny. Hey, look what I got you from work. They let us keep stuff if it's past its expiration date. There's so much stuff that just gets thrown away into a dumpster.
Mickey
Oh, great job, man. Free old cereal.
[Carl comes in door] 5-0!
Hey, I'm unarmed! Don't shoot!
Ha, ha, ha, very funny, assholes. Now, if you'll excuse me, Imma go load these bad boys up with armor-piercing rounds so I can keep the mean streets safe for fuck-heads like you guys. Watch out, Chicago! You're going down!
[Ian and Mickey are making love with Ian on top]
Take it, you dirty convict.
Mickey
Thought you weren't gonna fuck me until I got a real job, huh?
Oh, I got my eyes closed, pretending you're a Jonas Brother.
Mickey
Which one?
Mickey
Fuck you. I'm totally Nick.
[Mickey pushes Ian off him] What the...
Mickey
[Gets on top of Ian] Call me Nick, you Jonas-loving slut.
Whoa, hey. The fuck you doing?
Mickey
I'm gonna get you pregnant.
Come on. This isn't how we do it.
Mickey
Well, it's not how we normally do it. Been watching a lot of prison porn. Kinda feel like making you my bitch.
Mickey
Well, when I bottom, I power bottom, so even then, you're totally my bitch.
Mickey
Oh, come on.
To whack off in the shower.
Hey, look. Our new neighbors came to welcome us, even my pansy former son and his stink-dick boyfriend.
Mickey
I guess the city must've made good on their threat to condemn our old house. That or the meth lab caught fire again.
Well, what are they doing here, though?
Mickey
Terry's been banging the lady who owns this place for a couple of years. Calls it his plan B.
Mrs. McCurdy? She's, like, 90.
Mickey
Gotta do what you gotta do, man.
That's the stench of abject poverty, son.
Actually, I think it might be those chickens.
Mickey
Oh, no, those ain't chickens. Those are cocks. Like, for cockfighting?
Mickey
They like it. If they don't die. It's natural for 'em. You know, it's fun.
We have to move. I don't wanna be the reason for the next Black Lives Matter march. I'll get Trayvon Martin-ed for sure if we stay here.
[A man is randomly firing off a kalashnikov assault rifle] Jesus!
Why's he shooting random shit?
Mickey
[Laughs] Aw... He's playing "I Spy, You shoot."
Mickey
It's a kids' game. Yeah, kid says, "I spy with my little eye that red stop sign," or whatever, and then the adult... shoot the stop sign. Get off your fucking high horses. Anybody here feel like they're the product of good parenting, raise your hand.
Okay, I don't have time for this shit. I gotta get Franny ready. Where is Franny?
Fuck it, just dump the used motor oil in the yard.
Mickey
[Goes down stairs to Ian eating cereal watching Harley Quinn on TV] Hey, what you doin' today?
TJTV Joker
"It's me, dickhead," or just "me, dickhead"?
Mickey
Yo... Ian.
I'm just trying to find the strength to get off the couch and search for another minimum-wage, dead-end, soul-crushing job to appease my parole officer.
Mickey
Yeah, well... what if I offer you a job?
As what, getaway car driver?
Mickey
Come on, weed money security for the Alibi. It's your lucky day, bitch. Come on.
Yeah, thanks but no, thanks.
Mickey
Fuck you. Why not?
I'm not doing anything illegal.
Mickey
Weed's legal now. Look, stop eating your weight in Froot Loops. Go get dressed. Go on.
I don't think it's a good idea for us to work together.
Mickey
Oh. Oh, oh. Well, let's get this shit straight, then, 'cause it's not "workin' together." You're workin' for me, all right? I'm the boss.
I think we're being followed.
Mickey
We're not being followed, man. It's called traffic.
No, this guy's been behind us since we left the grow house.
Mickey
"Oh, I think we're being followed, man!" [Laughs]
Yeah, and I'm the one who fucking nags, right?
Mickey
Oh, come on. I'm just giving you shit.
[Van cuts in front of them with a sedan trapping them from behind]
Mickey
Shit! Fuck! I fucking told you! Well, congratulations! You were right! You happy?! We gotta run!
TThug
[Aiming gun] Out, now.
Mickey
Shit.
Mickey
All right. [Thugs opens door] God damn it. Oh.
Mickey
Fuck!
LLou
Calm down, tough guy. I will shoot you in the nuts!
Mickey
Lou?
LLou
Shut up. Ain't nobody here named Lou.
Mickey
I can see the fucking tattoo on your hand says Lou.
LLou
Shit. What's up, Mickey?
Mickey
You're an idiot. That's what's up. Can we go now? I got shit to do, man.
Mickey
I'm your cousin, asshole. Give me my bags. Get the fuck out of the way.
LLou
Sorry, man. We got a job to do.
Mickey
Oh, you got a job? [Draws pistol] I do too, bitch.
LLou
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that an airsoft pistol?
Mickey
No.
LLou
That's an airsoft gun. I can see where you painted over the orange tip of the barrel. [Laughs] Can you not afford a real gun?
Mickey
No, I- I have a real gun. It's just... if I get caught with it, I go to prison, and some people are very uncomfortable with that.
We're on parole! We're on parole.
LLou
[Sighs] Well, now I feel bad. Tell you what. Since you're family, we're only gonna take, uh, 1,000 bucks. All right? Can't leave empty-handed, you know. We got mouths to feed.
Mickey
No, uh, yeah, thank you for being so fucking generous.
LLou
You're welcome. Hey. I'll see you at Thanksgiving.
Mickey
Yeah, okay. Fuck you. [Lou and cohorts get in van and drive away with Ian flipping them off]
Unbelievable! There goes our profit for the week!
Mickey
Don't make this shit like it's my fault!
I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying!
Mickey
You're just saying that we should've had a real fucking gun...!
Mickey
like I've been saying...!
Mickey
...from the fucking beginning!
...Polack fucking family!
Mickey
We are...!
[Lip and Brad are breaking into their motorcycle repair shop with Mickey]
Mickey
Fuck! Darker than Satan's asshole in here.
All right, Imma hit parts. Mick, grab some bikes, and, uh, Brad, office.
Wait, why are you using real names?
Hey, relax, we're gonna take the security camera.
And what- what if they bugged the place?
Mickey
Hey, Mission Impossible, less talking, more stealing. What the fuck is this shit?
Hey, hey, three grand in the safe.
Yo, hey, hey. Fuck that one. It's a piece of shit. Grab some chrome pipes and carburetors, parts room.
Mickey
Shit feels expensive. It's heavy.
[Mickey drops objects smashing it] Hey, what the fuck you doing?!
Mickey
Making it look like Mexicans broke in!
Fucking freezing in here. Why'd you get a refrigerated truck?
'Cause, Brad, there's not a lot of options last-minute.
Mickey
Where we fencing this shit?
I don't know. Out of state, probably.
Mickey
Wait, you haven't lined up a fence yet?
Mickey
Great fucking plan, Lip. Which one of you geniuses came up with it?
Well, it was a group effort: me, Brad, couple of six-packs.
Mickey
Couple of s- You off the wagon again?
Mickey
"Just one night", isn't that what every alcoholic says?
Ah, he'll be all right. It's not his first time getting questioned. He can handle an interrogation.
You can't just use your cop "get outta jail free" card? When I get in, I'm gonna try to grease the wheels of justice.
Do we have any triple-A batteries?
That's a big hole. Coulda just said he wanted to renovate.
Mickey
Your brother's a fuckin' drama queen, man. Hey, scarf that shit down. I wanna go check on Terry. We have a lotta pick-ups today.
I don't know if we have time. We would if you stopped yappin' and started eatin'.
You guys remember I have a thing after school, right?
What thing? Don't ya want your dad there, cheerin' you on?
Well, what is it, anyway?
A contest to pick a new name for my school. The winner gets a free iPad.
Why does your school need a new name?
'Cause it's named after Dennis Hastert.
Former speaker of the House of Representative. Native Chicagoan. And a child molester. He's canceled.
Canceled? You can't cancel history. It's already happened. Political correctness is gonna kill this country.
Mickey
He diddled kids.
Uh, beside the point. We can't be applying today's sexual standards to... molesters of yesteryear.
Molesting used to be okay?
Dennis Hastert brought a lotta federal dollars to Illinois. I don't think I can just stand by while the PC police erase his legacy.
This is the hill you wanna die on, Frank? Defending a pedo?
Defending tradition, defending our shared history? Yeah. I'll die on this hill. This is a hill we all should die on together.
Mickey
Come on. Hey, let's go. I wanna make sure they're takin' care of fuckin' Terry over there.
[To Mickey crying] Look, I know he was your dad, but the guy was an awful human being.
Mickey
Yeah, I know. He was a huge piece of shit.
Mickey
I don't fuckin' know.
Look, Terry hated you. Hated us.
Mickey
This is your fuckin' fault.
Mickey
You're the one that hired the nun. Was she even a nun?
She said she was a great caretaker.
Mickey
This is really unfair, man. I could've killed that fucker, like, a thousand times. This bitch just swoops in?
Hey, are you crying 'cause you're pissed off or 'cause you're sad?
Mickey
You stop asking me fuckin' questions! I don't know. I have no idea.
Mickey
Ew! Ass fuck! [Kicks Frank's bed waking him] You shit yourself, Frank! What the fuck?!
[Meets Frank in hallway] Frank.
I just shat the bed and pissed myself.
I'm lost. Spent. Used up.
You're just being dramatic.
I'm hopelessly wandering in a world I don't recognize.
It's just a bad morning for you. Happens to the best of them. What are you doing today?
Me neither. Let's have some fun.
Come on. It's like you used to always tell me. Either you run the day, or the day runs you.
[Sighs] Just get in the shower. We're gonna do some Frank things.
Yeah. Drinking, scamming... You know, Frank things.
Mickey
[Ian pulse checks an unresponsive Frank on the couch] Is he dead?
Grampy went tinkle in his pants.
Ugh, damn it. Not on the new couch.
[Walks up] Hey, what’s goin’ on?
How much heroin did he do?
Yet another disadvantage to decades of copious narcotics use.
Should we, like, call the paramedics or something?
No, he’s done this before a bunch of times.
He may be trying to kill himself. He’s been depressed. The dementia’s getting bad.
Hand me that syringe. [Ian hands her one and she pricks Frank's hand]
Mickey
Sheesh.
Or he’s already brain-dead. That happens with overdoses.
Mickey
I guess it’s up to us to finish him off. Quick so*t to the head, dump his body in the lake. I don’t think anybody’s gonna miss him. What? We’d just be helpin’ Mr. Fuckup finish the job.
HHeidi
You could pillow him. That’s what my dad did to my grandpa so we could sell his double-wide. Couldn’t afford his oxygen refills anymore.
Debbie’s got a new friend.
HHeidi
Hey, you check his pockets, see if he got any money on him?
Mickey
[Carrying a mattress out of the Milkovich residence with Ian] Your mattress smells like ass.
We can also buy a new mattress.
Mickey
Nah, too many good memories stained into this one.
Hey, you know what the day is? Twentieth or 21st?
Mickey
Fuck should I know?
Mickey
Maybe a little less thinkin’ and open those doors. This fucker’s heavy.
After we drop this shit off, we gotta hit that furniture rental on Ashland. They got a good deal on taupe living room sets.
Mickey
All right. That it?
No, still gotta grab the dresser.
Mickey
What do we need a dresser for? We got floors, right?
[Gives Mickey a you-should-know-better look and then turns] Come on. [Walks back into house]
Mickey
Fuck’s sake. [Follows after]
Shameless · 903 quotes
