KevinHey, Tommy.
Kevin
Why are you two sitting so far apart from each other?
Kevin
Yeah, sure, of course.
[On phone] Okay, call me when you have more. [To Kevin] Elijah from the dispensary doesn't have weed either, Kev.
Kevin
Shit.
Whole city's run out. Another symptom of economic anxiety: everyone's self-medicating. Why are you two sitting apart?
Kevin
[Quietly to Veronica] I think they're having a fight.
Kevin
Saying something under your breath means "keep it quiet."
Kevin
Oh, Frank! You gotta use the secret knock.
Oh, sorry. Top of the morning to you. So what you got for me to sample today in the wonderful world of weed, Master Kev, Mistress V? [Sits between Tommy and Kermit] What are... why are you guys sitting so far apart? One of you fart or something?
Kevin
Just because.
Jesus, fine. Sit in your own stank, for all I care.
They won't tell us either.
Oh. [Noticing turning display empty] Where are the goods?
But our suppliers are out of product now.
Kevin
Ever since the 'rona, there's been a rush on weed.
They were not prepared for the demand. Everyone's out.
It's a blessing in disguise. Pot is dangerous.
[Repeatedly] No... That's impossible. There's no such thing as a rush on weed. It's in abundance.
There's three different dispensaries we use for our product. They're all out.
Dispensaries? You know what kind of a markup they've got? I can get you more product.
Kevin
Where?
Marijuana's basically just a weed. The government has no more right to regulate it than they do sunflowers.
Exactly! Don't worry. I can get you more product. We can go in on this together, partners.
Barkeep, a beer and a glass of tomato juice, please.
Kevin
Ha-ha! Hungover?
Of course, but that's not why. I tried to ignore the Milkovich hot spot, but yet again, science wins. Pretending a virus isn't real doesn't make it harmless.
Here's an idea. Why don't you talk to them?
Kevin
We tried.
No, you tried to trick them. I'm saying talk to them. Listen to their concerns. Express your concerns. Have an actual conversation.
V, you act like these are human beings.
Kevin
Well, nothing else has worked. It's worth a shot.
Oh, Jesus, I don't know what's more toxic, their filth or your optimism.
What's up with the fancy outfit? Parole hearing?
No. I like to look nice for men who have nothing better to do than sit in a bar all day. Alderman sent over a list of people who didn't vote in the last election, so I am going door-to-door to get them to the polls.
You can skip my house. I'll be here.
Black people. We need to get this rent control bill passed so Black people can afford to stay in the neighborhood. Tell them to stop paying rent.
That's what the Milkoviches do.
Where do people like that come from in the first place?
The South. Once they realized they had to start picking the cotton, they migrated to the Midwest to take part in our industrial economy.
No, the Milkovich clan came here from Poland after the Polish-Russian war. For some reason, when white people lose a war, they all move to Chicago.
Kevin
All right, Frank. You ready?
Kevin
No. Come on, we're a team.
Kevin
Exactly. That's why the Milkoviches will listen to us. We're relatable. We're not Jordan and Pippen. We're Tommy and Kermit.
I'm surprised they didn't ask you to coach the Bulls.
Kevin
[Going out door] Come on.
Fine. Let's get this over with. [Finishes drink and walks after]
How'd it go? Did you bury the hatchet?
You okay, baby? What's wrong?
Kevin
So much. So much is wrong.
I don't know. You think? I thought we got to a pretty good place there at the end.
Kevin
Well, one of them was skinning a deer, and then the other one was branding himself.
Kevin
Right in their front yard. We have to move.
Kevin
It's like living next to the Manson family, V. The blood?
I gotta get back out to finding Black folks. That's the only thing that's gonna fix this. Get out the vote. This is our home, not theirs.
If anyone's moving, it's them. Maybe this is it, the final stop in Caucasian evolution: white trash. In the end, we'll all be Milkoviches.
Kevin
[Veronica giggles and he pokes head above Alibi bar counter before flashback scenes] Oh, sh- oh, hey! Uh, V? [Stands up and doing up pants]
Kevin
V. Did you know they were coming?
No! Hell no! 'Scuse me. Can I help you? Oh, sure, this is what you're here for? Okay, here's what happened last week on Shameless. Married people you know with kids can still have fantastic sex. [Veronica goes down with Kevin undoing pants and going down]
Okay, here we go. Two beautiful girls ready to show their mommy off at school. Oh, I am so excited to be class parent. I need a break from the adults. Hey, how many voters did you register yesterday Three in five hours. So many good Black folks died from the virus or moving away. I'm starting to think we should give up and leave the South Side to the gentrifiers. Hey, those gentrifiers buy weed, the expensive stuff with the weird names. I had some hipster kid come in for an edible yesterday. He said that we're the up-and-coming... neighborhood, said we're the next Pilsen.
Kevin
Pilsen? The place where they do art walks?
Yeah, and the fancy food trucks. The other kids are gonna be so jealous of you. You guys have the sexiest mama on the South Side. A- and the smartest. Damn right, the smartest. Girls, in 2021, we are ignoring the male gaze and focusing on our minds. It's where the energy needs to go.
Kevin
Well, this male gaze is gonna focus on you walking out that door. [Veronica turns head in recognition]
Kevin
Mm, don't you look beautiful!
No, sir. You let Lip hide stolen motorcycles in Kev-Fit. You and I don't have anything to say to each other until this is over.
Kevin
It's only for a couple of days! Did you see that chopper? I've always wanted a chopper like that. I'd be ten times more fuckable in a chopper.
If you get on that chopper, you're never gonna get... [ turns head in reference to daughters and says softly] ..fucked again.
Kevin
Brad's got a buyer in Indiana. Him and Lip are running two of them there today.
Get rid of them. All of them.
Kevin
Yes, ma'am. Girls, you ready to go to school?
[Following daughters] Where the hell are they going?
Kevin
Girls?
Who's in there? [Walking to closet with Liam holding daughters breakfast plates] Liam?
Kevin
Christ, Liam!
Kevin
What?
Everyone's moving on with their lives, and I'm gonna end up homeless. Can I live with you?
Kevin
You got this?
Kevin
All right, cool. Girls, let's go.
[Extends hand to Liam who takes it and gets up] Come on. I gotta go sign in voters. It's election day. But in the meantime, you and I are gonna talk about why young Black men can't go around breaking into people's houses. Come on.
Kevin
All right, my love, I let ya sleep in. I even turned a blind eye when you moved from the bed to the couch and slept some more. But now it's time to carpet denim.
Kevin
Carpet denim. It's Latin for wake up!
Oh, I just wanna sleep. Please.
Kevin
You wanna talk about it?
My mama's moving. She's abandoning us. What's there to talk about?
Kevin
Oh, we can go visit for holidays and stuff. Who doesn't wanna spend Christmas in Kentucky? V, if you don't get up, we're gonna be late opening the Alibi.
Kevin
What about the girls? We gotta get them ready... you don't want me doing their hair, do you?
Kevin
V, you're the one who always says that a white woman can take her daughter to school lookin' any old way, but if a Black woman does it, people start to question whether she's a fit mother...
Kevin
Is there anything I can do to get you up?
Kevin
Oh.
Kevin
Okay, great!
[Heading upstairs] I'm goin' back upstairs and gettin' into bed. You keep botherin' me, I'ma stab your ass.
Kevin
[Sets placemats on table for daughters in Alibi Room] All right, girls. [Amy swipes placemat on floor] No! Amy, no! Unacceptable! We do not act like that! Here, just watch a movie.
GGemma
We want to go to school.
Kevin
Guys, I want you to go to school, too. I really do. But I told you there's no school today. It's a teacher work day. Which is so great 'cause it's a Daddy work day, too.
Kevin
Yeah, I want Mommy too, okay? But she's not here. She's in Kentucky. Please just... watch a movie.
What's V doing in Kentucky?
Kevin
[Sighs] She's helping her mom move.
She left you in charge of the girls?
Kevin
Yeah, she left me in charge of the girls. Shut up. Where's Tommy?
I don't know. At work, I guess. Why?
Kevin
It just freaks me out when you're here by yourself.
[Enters with rolled up blueprint tube] Could I get a shot of Jamie, please?
Kevin
Hey, Frank. It's me, Kevin.
Hey, Kevin. It's me, Frank. Why are we talking like we're on the phone?
Kevin
Oh, I just didn't know if you remembered me.
Kevin
What's with the notebook?
Kevin
What's the plan?
A heist. I'm putting the gang back together for one last job.
Cool. You used to be a thief or something?
One of the best. You might've heard of one or two of our escapades. The Purolator heist? Elizabeth Stewart Gardner Museum?
Kevin
No.
Doesn't matter. [Raise glass] Best of luck.
Kevin
Yeah, you go get 'em. Cheers.
Thanks, boys. Well, I'm outta here. Don't mention anything to anybody about the heist. Discretion is vital.
Kevin
I don't know what you're talking about.
Kevin
Yeah, Frank, I'm pretending that I don't know.
Kevin
Frank? [Points to shot glass still full]
Kevin
Your shit.
What? Oh. [chuckles softly then drinks up] Mm. [To Kermit] How you doin'? Oh, sht. [Walks out humming to self]
[Entire cast is sitting on door steps of Gallagher residence]
We’re not doing this, telling you what happened on Shameless last week anymore. We’re sick of it.
It insults your intelligence.
They don’t pay us enough.
Kevin
What, they pay you guys for this?
[They all turn heads to Kevin] Yeah. You don’t get paid?
Kevin
Well, fuck me! [They all snicker]
[Ian pulse checks an unresponsive Frank on the couch] Is he dead?
Kevin
High what?
Grampy went tinkle in his pants.
Ugh, damn it. Not on the new couch.
[Walks up] Hey, what’s goin’ on?
How much heroin did he do?
Kevin
Wow.
Yet another disadvantage to decades of copious narcotics use.
Should we, like, call the paramedics or something?
No, he’s done this before a bunch of times.
He may be trying to kill himself. He’s been depressed. The dementia’s getting bad.
Hand me that syringe. [Ian hands her one and she pricks Frank's hand]
Or he’s already brain-dead. That happens with overdoses.
I guess it’s up to us to finish him off. Quick so*t to the head, dump his body in the lake. I don’t think anybody’s gonna miss him. What? We’d just be helpin’ Mr. Fuckup finish the job.
HHeidi
You could pillow him. That’s what my dad did to my grandpa so we could sell his double-wide. Couldn’t afford his oxygen refills anymore.
Debbie’s got a new friend.
HHeidi
Hey, you check his pockets, see if he got any money on him?
Shameless · 903 quotes
