A character in Regular Show
Played by Sam Marin
Regular Show · 562 quotes
5th most-quoted character in Regular Show: in 58 of its 562 quotes
Most scenes with: Rigby Riggerson (43), Mordecai (36), Benson Dunwoody (34)
[they ambulance people carry a groaning Pops on a ]
He should be fine in a few days. But he's defiantly lucky to be alive. That bed could've killed him. [his line "killed him" echos 3 times in Muscle Man's mind]
Pops, Pops! Pops, I'm so sorry, bro! It was an accident!
PopsOh, no worries. I'll be quite alright.
No, Pops, I almost killed you all because of my stupid prank!
Uughhhhh....
The park.
Our home.
Pops(sheds a tear) All is lost.
Thomas, stop thinking about things and bring us the coffee already! (turns to Garrett Bobby Ferguson Sr.) Kid's worthless am I right?
(Thomas yells and throws coffee at Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.'s face. Enraged, he kicks Thomas off the freeway)
Thomas!!
(as Thomas falls to the ground, Gary's car swoops off after him, with Benson and Rigby still on the back. Pops, Skips and Mordecai watch over the edge)
Hmm, alright, gather round, gather round now. (the villains gather) We'll just tear this thing up and get this war back on. MINIONS! BEHOLD!!! (holds up a crude drawing of him, thinking it's the contract)
(with a British accent) Uh, is that a drawing of you with a butt for a face??
Huh?! A fake?
Hey, losers!
(Gary's car floats up from below the freeway. Thomas is clinging from the edge of the trunk)
Should have checked the fine print when we switched the contract in front of yo' face! know what I'm sayin'?
NO!!!!!!
(Thomas signs the last missing spot and the paper glows yellow around his name. The contract takes off into mid air and flies to the portal, closing it. The freeway begins to crumble and crack as the villains fly back to where they came from, followed closely by the bits of destroyed freeway and unless they can hold on, the park workers, too. The Fergusons stand on the last remaining piece of freeway as terror reigns around them)
Junior! You just broke the universe record for disappointing your father! AUUUUUGH! (explodes)
(falls to his knees) NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! (explodes)
You guys have all your assignments for today. Oh, and don't forget that tonight is Game Night.
Aw, yeah! Game Night!.
What are we playing?
Yeah, Skips. What are we playing?
Tonight, we will be playing Drawsome.
Alright. I love me some Drawsome. Who else is showing up to this Drawsome event?
I got a giant baby, Gary, and my cousin Quips.
Ugh!
What?
Your cousin Quips is annoying.
Yeah, man. He's always telling lame jokes.
What are you guys talking about?
Come on. Every other word out of that guy's mouth is some annoying joke.
Yeah. Some joke that isn't funny.
Come on, guys! His jokes aren't that bad.
And then he said, "Yes, I do!" (laughs) Alright, seriously, last one, 'cause I got to go. What? Hey, wait! I didn't even get to finish my punchline! Aw, well. He's probably already heard my routine. Heeey, who's ready for some funny?
Ugh!
You guys all remember my cousin Quips.
Hey, Quips.
Hey, Benson. Nice to see ya. Speaking of "see ya", what did one ocean say to the other ocean? "Sea ya later!" (laughs)
I don't get it.
Oh, well, an ocean is a body of water and the sea is also—
I don't care.
A little more care will give you a little more hair. Zingo!
Ugh!
PopsHello, Quips.
Pops, looking good. In fact, you look amazing. Just a compliment. Don't get a big head. Oops! Too late! Zammo! And, of course, Muscle Man, you love the jokes. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bay-gulls! (laughs) I got a whole bait about bodies of water. What? You say you want another one?
We didn't say anything.
What did the lake say to the puddle?
Come on, Quips. Let's get you unpacked. You probably want to lie down after your trip.
Guess it's time to take this comedy show on the road. And by comedy show, I mean me! Zingo!
Dude, he's even worse than last time.
Yeah, Skips. Tell your cousin that if he can't stop telling jokes, then he's gotta get out of here.
I can't just do that. I invited him here. No one told you to get rid of your brother Don when he visited.
That's because everyone loved him! I tried to get rid of him!
Ugh! Alright, fine. I'll tell him soon.
Wow, guys. Those coughs sound pretty serious. You guys should see a doctor. Oh, that reminds me. Why did the clown go to the doctor? He was feeling a little funny!
Hoagie Sandwich! Hoagie Sandwich!
Squeeze out the Mustard, do it real quick!
A dab of Mayo, too much'd be sick!
PopsHealthy veggies'll make this valid!
And don't forget the main ingredients so we don't confuse it with a salad!
Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat!
A group of four fully grown Canadian Geese show up on the bridge. The Geese start attacking the lakeside, starting by scaring a couple away, pushing a squirrel off the bridge, and even dropping a giant rock on a paddle boat with a couple in it, breaking it and sending the couple into the lake. Two of the geese chest pound each other.
PopsThose ruffians!! (Gets up and runs to the geese) Now see here, geese!! Your behavior is most uncouth! Now, I'm afraid- (Geese start pushing him around) Ahhhh! (runs away, sobbing)
Hey, quit it! (The geese stare at the sandwich and Rigby realizes it.) PROTECT THE SANDWICH!
(The geese attack it and throw it in the trash can as Rigby jumps into Mordecai's arms.)
(Sobbing) WHYYY?
(The geese start punching the trash can, smashing it in the process, and rolls the trash can towards the three where it may have hit another trash can, sending some garbage flying in the air.)
What happened?
The golden wishbone. We wished to come back home safe and sound, and it worked!
Well, almost. It didn't grant the part where our families would be here. [he and Mordecai both hang their heads down, sadly]
[running out of the house] Guys, guys! Remember when I said everyone wasn't coming? I was wrong! [Mordecai and Rigby's parents emerge from the house] I checked the departing flights instead of the arrivals.
[annoyed] Thomas!
Hey, Mordo!
Hi, son.
Is that grown man over there my Rigby?
Come here, Rigby.
[Mordecai and Rigby happily run up to them]
Mom! Pop!
It's so good to see you, guys. Except--
There's no food because we destroyed it all.
[chuckles] Well, that's what families are for. [opens the door, revealing a new Thanksgiving feast that's been prepared by all the families]
[surprised] Woah!
[holding out a turkey] Who's ready for some turkey?
[Later, all the performers, footballers and Thanksgiving characters, as well as some friends, have joined everyone for the feast]
[tapping a glass of water with a spoon trying to get everyone's attention] Ahem!
Oh? [shouting out to everyone] HEY, EVERYBODY! PIPE DOWN! [to his son; kindly] Go ahead, son.
I just wanna thank everyone for coming. Thanksgiving can be a hectic time for many. But to see everyone here makes it all worth it in the end. Mordecai and Rigby, would you please stand up? [Mordecai and Rigby do so] I know you guys aren't perfect, pretty much all the time. But I want you to know that I'm proud of you. You saved Thanksgiving! And for that, I raise my glass. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Happy Thanksgiving!
When am I supposed to get my chip on?!
Pops (entering the living room): (crying in humiliation)
Pops, what's wrong?
PopsI'm just having a bad day with nature, I suppose.
Rigby, staff meeting! Did you go in a pizza pouch bender again last night? Come on!
Last night? [gasps] Thomas!
Guys, it finally happened. I met the perfect girl. Her name is Natalie, and she's a preschool teacher. I'll be showing her around the park today. So your only duties are to leave us alone. Just leave me and Natalie alone, people.
[Rigby raises his hand]
No, you can't use the bathroom, Rigby.
That's not what I was gonna sa—
[interrupts Rigby] You know, Rigby has a point. What about Audrey?
We broke up. Remember?
[Everyone can't remember]
PopsI don't recall.
I was sad for months? I loafed around the house? [scoffs] Muscle Man and Pops, you took me to get ice cream. Skips, you made me train for that marathon. In fact, all you guys had a role in my lengthy healing process.
I don't remember any of this.
[yells] SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS! [calmly] Today is Thomas' last day. Now keep this under wraps, guys, 'cause I want to surprise him. At the end of the day, I'm offering Thomas a full-time job!
[Everyone cheers except Rigby]
Oh, yeah, I can't wait to see look on his face when he sees how I prank the new hires!
You know, we don't normally hire interns. But Thomas is really killing it lately. Killing it in the Park!
Hey, Benson, what's with the fancy spread?
Mr. Maellard said he needed to give an announcement this morning. You know, you all could learn a thing or two about boss appreciation… [Mr. Maellard's limo suddenly crashes through the sweets; sighs and facepalms as Mr. Maellard gets out of his limo] Mr. Maellard! How nice of you to visit us today.
No time for bollocking Benson. Take a seat. As you all aware: Park attendance has been declining for years. With no visitors, I'm basically just paying you boys to babysit Pops at this point.
PopsAnd they're doing a bang up job.
With that in mind, I've decided to shut down the park.
[The guys all start complaining]
No visitors?! Well, what about, uh, that guy? [points to Huge Head and everyone looks at him]
Wait, not yet!
One ugly guy, plotting revenge on my son for the last four years isn't enough to keep the park open. You guys all had a good run, but I'm afraid you're all fired. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go rig a yacht race.
(whistling, sighs) How many times do I have to tell them? Close the garage door when you're finished painting it! (shuts the garage door) What the...? Didn't I just close that? (opens the garage door, then closes it then growls)
PopsComing through!
Pops, no!
(Pops' car crashes into the garage door)
PopsBad... show.
MORDECAI & RIGBY!!!
Pops, are you okay?
Pops(groans) Optical illusion.
Don't worry, sir! Thanks to the jaws of life, you'll never get trapped in an enclosed space again.
Whoa!
Where'd you get that?
It came with the truck.
What were you two thinking?!
It was just a joke!
Yeah, we were going to paint over it after our break!
Well, how's this for a joke? Buy a new garage door by the end of the day or you're fired!
And Mordecai and Rigby, let's have you pick up trash by the snack bar.
Ugh! Again?
Don't worry, this is the last time you'll be on trash duty for a while.
Awesome! Wait, we're not getting another intern, are we? Because I don't think I can handle another spy situation.
No, I've actually got some very big news about your dome-estic situation! (everybody stares at him) Hopefully it won't cause any pan-dome-onium! (everybody continues to stare) Dome you have any ideas about what's going to happen? (everybody is still staring) No one, huh? Well, since I have to spell it out for you, Maellard's decided to seal off the park in a dome to create a contained ego-system! A group of scientists from the government are going to study it for a whole month!
Bro, have would we ever have guessed that?
A whole month? Where are we supposed to go?
You'll have to move out, the dome's dropping tomorrow! Isn't that exciting?
PopsWhy aren't you more upset about the inconvenience?
Because I don't live at the park.
So we can stay at your place?
Heh, well, my place, while officially a one bedroom, (the wind starts blowing strong) feels more like a studio. So there isn't really any room! (he looks up and sees a dome coming down onto the park)
It's not tomorrow! It's today! They're sealing the park today!
[on video tape] Fives, I put on too much tanning oil, and now I can’t get up!
[on video tape] Don’t worry! I’ll help! [tries to pull Muscle Man back up on his feet and he falls on his front]
PopsWow! What wonderful memories! [chuckles nervously]
I, uh…I think I'm gonna call it a night, if that's okay. Thanks. [floats to the front door and leaves]
Marvolo the Wizard. A powerful dragon hath decsended upon us, and only ye can stop it.
PopsOh, you must be the mad king.
Look, Marvolo, if you don't slay the dragon right now, the commoners will demand refunds, and my Kingdome shall crumble!
PopsFor the last time, stop calling me Marvolo!
He's waking up.
PopsKing Edmund? Barnaby? Rignatius and Mordicus?
No, Pops, it's us. Everything is back to normal. The Park broke even and all is well.
Rigby RiggersonWilliam Salyers · 322 quotes
MordecaiJ. G. Quintel · 310 quotes
Benson DunwoodySam Marin · 195 quotes
Muscle Man SorrensteinSam Marin · 88 quotes
SkipsMark Hamill · 53 quotes
Eileen Roberts-RiggersonMinty Lewis · 42 quotes
Hi-Five GhostJ. G. Quintel · 23 quotes
Margaret SmithJanie Haddad-Tompkins · 23 quotes
C.JLinda Cardellini · 11 quotes
TThomas8 quotes
DRDon RiggersonJulian Dean · 7 quotes
ShermEddie Pepitone · 7 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
