[Cut to Rigby's mind whilst sleeping. The background is empty]
DRDream Rigby
Hello? [walks] Hello?
[Large speaker emerges from ground playing the song. Rigby runs and another speaker emerges]
DRDream Rigby
Get out, get out! [screams, digs into his ear and pulls out the cassette and throws it far away. He laughs victoriously but suddenly, a giant shadow emerges and runs towards Rigby]
[wakes up] The song. It's gone! [runs to Mordecai who is asleep.] Mordecai! Mordecai!
The song's not in my head anymore!
That's awesome, dude. Now we never have to hear that dumb song again.
(Seeing the Summertime Song as a a physical form, taking the form of a music tape with arms and legs with big, red sunglasses)
...What the heck is that?
I have no idea what I'm looking at.
I think the song must've left your head and manifested itself into a physical form.
Well, does it have an "off" switch?
Hey, dancing song dude! Knock it off! Dude, quit it! Seriously, man! I'm sick of this song!
[Casette drums on Rigby's head]
Get off! [tackles the cassette and goes right through it] Oh my gosh, it's a ghost tape! [jumps into Mordecai's arms]
Dude, calm down. It's not a ghost. It's just music. You can't touch music. But music can touch you.
Oh, barf. How do we get rid of it?
I don't know. If we just ignore it, it'll probably just go away.
[Montage of Mordecai and Rigby doing everyday activities like trying to eat cereals, trying to watch TV, mowing lawn and tenting customer at the snack bar with the cassette dancing around them. The man sees a dancing cassette and runs away. The cassette dances around on top of stairs while everybody tries to have a park meeting. Everyone, especially Benson, gets annoyed, Benson covers his ears, ragefully growls as he turns red in anger, angrily lets out an agonized scream with his bloodshot eyes, furiously throws his clipboard at the cassette, lividly huffs and leaves in annoyance as the others walk away extremely irritated. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby. Unable to stand anymore of this song, the duo are seen going into a room and locking it.]
Dude, that's it. We gotta do something about this.
What can we do? He's unstoppable!
We gotta fight fire with fire.
Dude, hello? Fire's just gonna go right through him.
No, dude. We gotta battle him with our own song.
We're gonna write the cheesiest, most repetitive, catchiest song ever, and then we'll see how he likes it.
[snaps his finger] Aw, snap!
And that's the perfect title!
[Cassette comes running down the hall then walks through the wall as Rigby jumps into Mordecai's arms]
MRMordecai and Rigby
[exit the room, and they run into Pops] Pops!
We need you to distract the "Summertime" Song.
Pops[covers his ears] But I can't stand that song!
I know. We're gonna get rid of it for good. But we need you to buy us some time, so just go dance with him and pretend like you're having fun.
Pops
Alright, then.
Pops
But I'm not going to use my best dance moves!
[The cassette walks up to Pops and starts dancing with him]
Pops
Yoo-hoo! Mordecai! Rigby!
BBoth
Hey, Pops! Hey, Skips!
You think you want some chips with that cheese?
Oh, yeah, I guess we overdid it with the cheese, huh? HYAH!! (SPLAT!!)
[all laugh]
Pops
Are you supposed to be working at the snack bar today?
Do us a solid and cover for us?
You shouldn't abuse the power of the solid. Bad things will happen.
Can you at least pretend you didn't see us?
Okay, but you owe me a solid. [drives off]
We should probably get outta here.
Do me a solid and buy me a cup of coffee?
I knew it. I had a sick feeling, so I came to check on you, and I KNEW it.
No! You guys are FIRED! That's it.
No! I told you guys, but you DIDN'T wanna listen!
Come on, Pops. You gotta help us.
Pops
I cannot tell a lie. Benson, it was all my fault.
Pops
I snuck out to the wrestling match on my own, and Mordecai and Rigby had to come and get me. I'm sorry.
Yeah. Most of that is technically true, somewhat, so...
Plus look, Pops' back is all better.
Pops
It's true!
... This is your last warning.
What are we gonna do then?!
[A loud knock is heard at the door, someone quietly opens it and a skinless Muscle Man is shown to be the knocker]
I told you I was ripped... [falls forward and dies]
SMSkips/Mordecai/Hi Five Ghost
AHHH! [telephone rings] AHHH!
[Hi Five Ghost runs to answer it]
[last words] No, Fives, WAIT!
Goodbye! [sucks Hi Five Ghost into the phone and squirts him out as a liquid all over Skips and Mordecai, as Benson vomits his gumballs]
[last words] Worst phone call ever.
[Mordecai and Skips are covered in liquid and Mordecai is pushed against the bookshelf by the Halloween Wizard and is knock unconscious. Benson and Pops scream in terror and hide in rooms while Skips tries punching the Halloween Wizard but the Halloween Wizard trips him]
If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen!
[Halloween Wizard throws Skips into the chimney, and fire goes up the chimney and burns Skips as fire goes to the top of the house and Rigby screams, Halloween Wizard runs into the bathroom, opens the shower curtain, and sees Benson]
[Benson screams. Him and his nun chucks are flushed down the toilet, causing his gumballs to rise]
Pops
[in bedroom] Show yourself... Bad show, very bad show! [door opens] AHHH!
[Pops fires sling-shot, but it hits the wall, Pops gets thrown into a closet and disappears]
What's happening? Hello, is anybody there? Can anyone hear me?
Don't worry, Rigby, I'm here. I won't anything happen to you.
[An invisible force comes and chops Mordecai's head off and his head falls to the ground]
[last words] Huh, so this is what it feels like to be as tall as Rigby.
[Mordecai gags and dies]
Mordecai? Mordecai? I'm sorry, okay?! I shouldn't have egged your house; do you hear me?! I'm sorry!
[The Halloween Wizard goes to Rigby and laughs]
Well then, what are you waiting for?! Do it! Do it already!
[The wizard uncovers a case and laughs maniacally while Rigby screams and eggs are thrown at him]
What?! You turned me into a house and killed all of my friends just to throw eggs at me?! THAT'S IT?!
[Points up; zooms out to reveal a big egg coming down on Rigby, then Rigby screams as the egg collapses and he melts]
[The butterfly then lands on a bush. Pops is about to catch the butterfly, when...]
Come on, you know that's not the way you're supposed to do it!
Well, this way is totally faster.
Yeah, cuts the time in half.
But you're actually CUTTING IT IN HALF, you idiots! ( The chainsaw fails to start off screen) Oh, and great, you manage to break the saw in the process! Now, we're gonna have to buy a new one!
[ We cut to Pops in the rose garden, he is drawing a rose on his notebook. He is on the stem, until he gets interrupted for the second time]
What are you guys doing?! Soda?! You can't use soda!
Oh, what, it's too hard to get the hose off the shed?! UNBELIEVABLE!
Well, at least it's diet. Nobody drinks that.
I drink diet. Not only did you guys ruin the hose...
Pops
[angrily scribbles his drawing, grunts, and storms away in anger and frustration]
Pops
Okay, men, this is the hour of prominence. On my signal, charge! Woooooaahhhh--- [He is interrupted by Benson Yet again]
[outraged, offscreen] YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! [Pops lays back, irritated - Outside, Mordecai is holding something looking like wood] Give me that! What is this, SANDPAPER?! [Looks at the golf cart. It is all scratched up.] You're scratching up the whole thing!
Pops
Benson, would you come see me for a moment, please?
MRMordecai and Rigby
Oooooh, somebody's busted!
MRMordecai and Rigby
[Now rapping with taunt] B-b-busted! Benson's b-b-busted!
[Sighs] What is it, Pops? I'm in the middle of something.
Pops
Have a seat. [Benson sits down, sighs once more] Do you know why I called you in here?
Did you lose the colonel again? Try under your hat.
[Pops lifts his hat with the colonel inside, then puts his toy army men in the drawer]
Pops
It's a problem concerning Mordecai and Rigby.
What else is new? Don't worry, Pops, I'll take care of it.
Pops
Then we understand each other?
Absolutely. I've already warned them - one more screw-up and they're both fired.
Pops
But... Benson, I was referring to you.
Pops
I'd like you to stop yelling at Mordecai and Rigby.
Pops
Quite the opposite. It's too negative and bad for morale.
What morale? Those slackers never do anything unless you yell at them.
Pops
There's never a reason to yell at anyone.
They give me a million reasons everyday! Ptft, you just want me to be nice to them?
Pops
You don't have to be nice. Just don't yell.
[groans] Listen, Pops, I appreciate the concern, but I know how to do my job.
Pops
Benson, I think it's clear that my dad puts me in charge of running the park when he's not around, right?
Pops
And that means you must do what I say?
Pops
And I am ordering you to stop yelling at Mordecai and Rigby.
Pops
Understood?
[ We cut to outside]
Noth-- [quick zoom out] You guys are STILL NOT--?! [ Benson realizes he's angrily yelling, so he talks through his furious teeth]—guys are still not done?
What? You told us to take it nice and easy.
Yeah, I get it now. It takes time to do things right.
You rush, you make mistakes.
[furiously facepalms] That's not the point I was trying to make.
And then we started thinking-why clean something anyways? Dirt is a natural thing. It's like part of life, you know? [Benson turns red and furiously sizzles]
Yeah, and like, what is a hose? Hose...
Hose... [Benson growls furiously, still red]
Yeah, exactly. But when you turn it on... [accidentally sprays water on Benson which Ticks him off] ...Sorry.
(yells furiously, kicks Mordecai and Rigby out of his sight) GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! (Mordecai and Rigby run away. Pops then appears behind Benson )
Pops
Benson, what did we just discuss?
Yeah, but, come on, Pops. They were totally--
Pops
Benson, I'm serious about this issue. Now if you yell at them again, I'm going to have to write you up.
[Rubs face and frustratingly growls] Okay, okay. I'll try to get it under control.
(Clock transition to computer room. Benson is on the computer searching "Free anger management tips")
Recite a personal mantra. Omm? What does that even mean? Next. (searches again)
FFitch
Oh, hello, friend! I'm Fitch Munderson. (A dog runs up to him) And this is Kimmy.
Okay, where's this going? (fast-forwards the video)
FFitch
We have a sure-fire way to help you control your anger, for only $60.
Nope. (searches again while the screen is loading, then clicks several times while the screen is still loading) Ugh, come on! Close! (angrily growls) Omm...omm...omm...omm...omm...omm...(sighs) Huh. I guess it works.
(Cut to downstairs. The whole place has been torn apart. Mordecai and Rigby are seen searching for something)
Hey, Benson. Have you seen the keys to the cart?
Omm...omm...omm...omm...omm...omm...omm...
We can't find them anywhere. (Breaks vase) Uh-oh.
(From the window, two people are seen driving the cart)
Never mind. I think I know where they are.
(growling, Now red with tears in his eyes) RRRRRAAAAAAUUUGGGGHHH!!!!!!
MRMordecai and Rigby
AAH! ( The duo then run away)
Pops
Benson! I warned you! (Writes on clipboard angrily)
Pops, you're writing me up?
Pops
You know what happens next, don't you? ( He angrily hands Benson the paper)
Of course. Verbal warning, write up, fired. But you wouldn't fire me, Pops.
Pops
I'll do what I must.
What?! Pops, you can't take this job away from me! It's all I have!
Pops
I'm sorry, Benson. If you yell at Mordecai and Rigby again, I'll be forced to fire you.
(Pops leaves. Benson furiously turns red and angrily begins to jump several times while grunting)
Jeez, Benson, try counting to 10. (Benson furiously turns around and angrily grunts) Better make it 100. (leaves)
1, 2... (Cuts to outside) ...7, 8, 9... (Cuts to near the shed) ...75, 76, 77... (Benson suddenly stops and sees Mordecai and Rigby covered in pink paint, laughing)
Oh, hey, Benson! What's up? We're finally painting the shed! (Rigby throws himself on the wall, followed by Mordecai, who ends up going through the wall)
(furiously turns red and angrily growls. He then puts his hands on his face) 78, 79, 80, 81...
(continues counting) 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87...
I dunno. But what do you think he'll do when he gets to a hundred?
MRMordecai, Rigby, and Benson
...88, 89, 90, 91... (Benson stops and angrily growls, put his hands on his face again and then furiously storms off while panting, still red)
MRMordecai and Rigby
...92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99...
( We cut to Benson walking into Corners bookstore. Benson angrily puts the Fitch & Kimmy book on the table, leaving a hot and fiery handprint. The cashier checks and scans the book, then, Benson storms out as the scene cuts to Benson walking to his apartment, room 1635. He then slams the door. Benson inserts the tape into a Walkman and rests on his armchair)
FFitch
(Over the Walkman) The key to managing your anger is control. For example, One should never yell, even if it's to pass the salt.
( The camera Zooms into Benson's eyes. He has a flashback to when he was a child, and his family was all talking loudly and arguing at the dinner table)
BSBenson's Father
Quiet, Benson has something he wants to say.
(embarrassed and blushing) Ahem, Um, pass--
BSBenson's Father
Look here, son! You're never going to get anything in this life if you don't yell for it!
Pass....(loses his temper) PASS THE SALT!
(Benson's dad passes the saltshaker to Benson. Suddenly, an earthquake occurs, showing a giant angry Pops ripping off the roof)
Pops
Benson, You're fired! (Points at Young Benson)
NO-O-O-O! (Ripple transition back into Benson in his apartment. Now completely enraged, he furiously steps on and angrily throws the Walkman, breaking a portrait. He then violently jumps and ragefully kicks the TV. We cut to outside, still hearing Benson lividly grunting. He then throws his armchair , which breaks a window and ends up destroyed. Benson looks at himself in the mirror. He's red again, panting.)
Keep it together, Benson. (Looks at the mirror. His eyes are very stressed and menacing) You still got a whole day of work left.
Good, you're all here. As you probably already know, today marks 5 years I've worked at the park. So in honor of me, we're eating at Fry it Up at 8:00!
Oh, no can do, Muscle Man.
We already made plans with Margaret and Eileen.
Pssh, your loss, bros. While you're striking out with some chicks, we'll be scoring some wings! And some chicks! Am I right, Skips?
Sorry, I can't either. I'm bowling with Pops and Benson.
Pops
Lawn bowling!
Ugh! Well, it looks like it's just me and you tonight, Fives.
Low-Five is graduating from the police academy tonight! He's my brother, I have to go!
Dude, Benson can't stand it when you leave jobs before they're even finished.
Oh please, what's he gonna do? [Benson looks behind him, who overhears the conversation]
[teething angrily] IT’S BENSON!
Yeah, I know it's Benson, that's how it works around here. I don't do my work, and he doesn't do a thing about it. It's a win-win.
Actually, it's a lose-lose CAUSE YOU’RE FIRED!!
Whoa, Benson!! I was just messing around! Sorry about that. I'm just gonna go back to work now, okay?
No, you're not. You're actually fired. I want you outta here.
I'm sorry, Benson, it won't happen again!
Can't you give him another chance?!
Pops
[stops by] What's going on here?
Pops
Why? What's the matter, Benson?
Well, for one, he never finishes his work.
That's not true! I always finish my work!
[cut to Rigby playing video games with the vacuum cleaner running past him; whooping on the duck spring rider with his garbage bag and stick laid down; and himself sleeping with the hose still running]
Okay, so... maybe I don't always finish my work, but... you never told me how to! How am I suppose to do something I don't even know how to do?!
I don't know! If you haven't figured it out already, you're not gonna figure it out anytime soon. I want you outta here!!
[Muscle Man laughs as he straps Mordecai's bed to the ceiling]
I can't wait to see the look on Mordecai's face when he finds his bed on the ceiling. He'll be like, "Oh, no! Where am I gonna sleep tonight?"! [he and Hi-5 Ghost laugh] Best prank ever! [high five each other]
[Pops runs in playing with a red balloon, laughing]
Pops
I've got you this time, balloon!
Pops
[crying]
Oh, no, bro! [Pops sobs loudly. Benson and the others come]
Pops! [Skips removes the bed from a severely injured Pops] Call the ambulance, now! It's gonna be okay, Pops. [Mordecai goes to call the hospital while the others try to comfort Pops as he continues sobbing in pain. Muscle Man looks upset and guilty]
Regular Show · 562 quotes
