And Mordecai and Rigby, let's have you pick up trash by the snack bar.
Don't worry, this is the last time you'll be on trash duty for a while.
MordecaiAwesome! Wait, we're not getting another intern, are we? Because I don't think I can handle another spy situation.
No, I've actually got some very big news about your dome-estic situation! (everybody stares at him) Hopefully it won't cause any pan-dome-onium! (everybody continues to stare) Dome you have any ideas about what's going to happen? (everybody is still staring) No one, huh? Well, since I have to spell it out for you, Maellard's decided to seal off the park in a dome to create a contained ego-system! A group of scientists from the government are going to study it for a whole month!
Bro, have would we ever have guessed that?
Mordecai
A whole month? Where are we supposed to go?
You'll have to move out, the dome's dropping tomorrow! Isn't that exciting?
Why aren't you more upset about the inconvenience?
Because I don't live at the park.
So we can stay at your place?
Heh, well, my place, while officially a one bedroom, (the wind starts blowing strong) feels more like a studio. So there isn't really any room! (he looks up and sees a dome coming down onto the park)
It's not tomorrow! It's today! They're sealing the park today!
MDr. Matthews
Mm. Looks like everything's normal.
I just have one question for you, doc. Who's this guy? [points to Hi Five Ghost, laying next to him, cheerfully smiling]
[The Park workers gasp in horrified shock that Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost don't know each other]
Hi. I'm Hi Five Ghost. I actually work at the Park, too. I'm surprised we never ran into each other.
Mordecai
Whoa! You guys really don't remember each other?!
What are you talking about, Mordecai? Why should we?
Yeah, I mean, how can I remember someone I just met?
MDr. Matthews
They're suffering from a very specific form of amnesia--one that only targets the memories of their friendship.
Hey, didn't I tell you to mow the lawn? Why are you watching TV?
Mordecai
I don't know. Just feeling "blah" today, you know?
Yeah, kind of got a case of the afternoon sleeps.
(groans) I don't wanna hear it. Get back to work or you're FIRED!!!
Mordecai
We did it dude! We mowed the entire lawn with out taking a single break! You wanna go get some lunch?
Aw yea-uh, I do! Nothing on Earth's gonna stop us from getting some lunch! Huh?
MRMordecai and Rigby
Party Horse! (They walk towards it as they chant) Party, party, party, party, party, par... (the spacecraft opens) Huh?
PHParty Horse 42699
(sniffles) Oh, Chrissy! (cries; Scene cuts to the house where he is lying on the couch and Mordecai and Rigby standing there) UUUUUUGGGHHH!
Mordecai
Dude, what happened to you?
PHParty Horse 42699
Chrissy happened, man, she dumped me, and she'll probably never talk to me again.
That's rough, man. What went wrong?
PHParty Horse 42699
Augh! It's all her dad's fault. He always telling her my partying is "compulsive" and that i'm a "danger to myself and others." I tried to talk to my bros on Party Horse Planet for advice, but they just duct tape me to a flagpole and put my underwear down. After that, I came to Earth hoping you dudes can help me.
MRMordecai and Rigby
Wooooaaaaahhhh...
Mordecai
Uh, don't worry, dude, we'll help you get your girlfriend back.
PHParty Horse 42699
You will?
Mordecai
It's easy, you just gotta get something nice to show her you care about her.
Yeah, man, the mall has like 20 stores that only sells stuff for guys who need to apologize to their girlfriends. With our help, you'll be back in the saddle in no time.
PHParty Horse 42699
Dude, saddle jokes, not cool.
Mordecai
What time is it?!
6:00! The sun's already down, and you've raked NO LEAVES!
Mordecai
Oh, but--
No "buts," "ands," or "ifs"! I don't want to hear it.
Mordecai
Uh, I think it's "ifs," "ands," or "buts."
Well, if you talk back to me again And don't get back to work, your butts are gonna be FIRED!
Mordecai
Dude, this is serious. We got to get a good night's sleep.
Mordecai
[after watching an advertisement for Seeds of Agony by Jonno] Wow, that sounds crazy.
[laughs] Crazy enough to work!
Mordecai
Dude, what are you talking about?
[leans in closer to whisper] Can you guys keep a secret? I'm taking Eileen to see that tomorrow! And you guys are coming with! And, you're not gonna ruin the surprise!
Mordecai
What?
It sounds a little intense.
Mordecai
And why's it gotta be a surprise? Is it a special occasion or something?
No, and that's the point! She'd be expecting something if it was. I've made her laugh, cry, scream with terror when she fell into that cave hole, all the big emotions. But she's too smart to be surprised!
Mordecai
No way.
If there's a mystery, she has to solve it. Whenever I try to surprise Eileen, she figures it out immediately. [Flashback to him dressed up in murder-mystery-style clothing and Eileen answers the door] Good evening, my lady. I'm here to warn you that trouble's afoot. You see, there's been a mur-
[squeals with excitement] You're taking me to a murder mystery, right?
Great! I already picked out a dress so we could go!
[Another flashback]
[carrying a telescope] Surprise! I'm taking you-
To the conjunction of the Moon and Mars up on Lookout Mountain? I know! I'm so excited!
[Another flashback]
You're taking me to the biannual mating season of the Hermit Crabs? You're the best!
[Back to the present]
She's smart like that, dude. So I thought of a plan so crazy she'll never figure it out. Will you guys help drive us around?
Mordecai
Dude, you're being kinda crazy, but at least it's a nice kind of crazy.
I think that's sweet Rigby. Of course we'll help you.
[walks in room carrying a tray of celery and peanut butter] Who wants celery and peanut butter? Wait, I smell a surprise brewing.
You're taking me to a movie after this.
[ It Then cuts to Mordecai then calls Benson after having missed their delivered package]
(Now red) 'YOU MISSED IT?!?! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SIT THERE!! You do that all day anyhow, so why can't you do it when I tell you to?!!
Mordecai
We're sorry, Benson! We— (He gets cut off)
Just reschedule the delivery and fix this, OR YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!
I'd say that was only about a five out of ten on the chewed-out scale. Not bad.
[Rigby calls Mordecai whose fixing Skips' van in the desert]
Mordecai
What?
Mordecai! What's going on? How're you still not here?
Mordecai
[sighs] Rigby, I just... have stuff to do, okay?
You already said you had stuff to do! Aren't you done doing your stuff?
Mordecai
No! [gets in van with six Coffini cans] I'm not done!
Well, could you be doing that's more important than this?!
Mordecai
Come on, dude. [drives off] You gotta do this for yourself. I can't do everything for you.
What buh—?! I've been doing stuff for myself all spring! I haven't needed your help all spring! Now that one time I do and you're not doing anything for me at all!
Mordecai
Yeah, that's right. I'm not doing anything for you. [hangs up, throws the cans onto the road]
[everyone is complaining that they're in space now]
WHY AM I STILL WEARING THIS THING?! [takes it off and breaks it]
[whining] I need to call my wife, how am I gonna call my wife?! [sees that his phone has no service]
[watches the Earth far away] Be careful what you write in your dream journal, Eileen. You might just get it.
Oh, no! I'm lost forever! We're going to starve to death and die!
We gotta press the button again!
Mordecai
[grabs Rigby] No! We gotta calm-
[Rigby jumps off Mordecai and press the button]
[pressing the button while he's whining] GO BACK! GO BACK! GO BACK! GO BACK! My high school graduate, I'm too young to die in space!
[everyone is still complaining]
Mordecai
Stop! [calms down everyone] Everybody, calm down. We've done this before guys. Last time we got trapped in the dome, we panicked. Right? But then we banned together and figured it out. We can't fall apart now. We are going to figure out how to get home. But we have to survive first. All we have to do is to make it one day at a time,
Mordecai is right, we'll handle this like we handle everything else, with a morning meeting.
[Mordecai observes the moon and Earth in the distance with Rigby lying down]
Mordecai
Dude, we're in space.
Mordecai
What if we're stuck here forever?
Might not be so bad. [Mordecai lies down with him] I mean, we basically have the park and all the stuff we normally have. Also, I've got Eileen! And you have… [Mordecai pauses for a beat] ...me! And we have space ships! Maybe this is how we become space pilots! Unless that timeline was destroyed, I don't know.
Mordecai
[sits up] Yeah, but we'll probably make it back to Earth. [both laugh out loud, Benson enters]
What are you two doing? No one's heard from you for two hours!
Mordecai
Sorry, Benson! We were exploring and then we found these space carts.
Yeah, and they were already crashed and stuff.
I don't care. I don't care. I don't care! We have a plan now. Quit goofing off and get to the surface!
Mordecai
Benson, check it out cool pillows.
Those pillows are not cool at all and neither is space.
Actually, Benson, I hate to disagree, but living in space is the definition of cool. I mean, I just got goosebumps saying that.
Um, again; basically kidnapped and forced to do this.
What's the matter, Benson? You can have top bunk if you want.
[sarcastically] Oh, the top bunk, now I definitely wanna stay in space. Muscle Man, what about Starla?
Starla would be proud, Besides, I know our love will stand the test of time. [holds up a picture of him and Starla signed "Our love will stand the test of time -Starla"]
Well, Fives, what about Celia?
Ditto. [pulls out a photo of him and Celia signed "Ditto -Celia"]
[agitated] I can't believe you people! Those scientists lied to us! MR. MAELLARD LIED TO US! UGH, I WANNA GO HOME!! [furiously storms out]
This is gonna be harder than we thought.
Here's your new jumpsuits. They got your names on 'em. Pretty cool, right? [Benson holds his jumpsuit]
You should keep this anyway. I'm not staying.
Tuh… You still don't get it. You don't think this mission is important. Well, fine! We don't need you! All that matters is that we have a team that wants to be here.
Mordecai
This seems like a pretty important mission. You don't wanna experience that?
Come on, Benson, just stay with us!
I can't believe you are all fine with this. [scoffs, holds his clipboard] I mean, if this is a peaceful mission, why do we have to practice using weapons? Why did I have to wear that fax machine like a jerk if you didn't have anything important for me to do? I had a good life and then you had to drag us up here!
No more questions! That's an order!
Why would I listen to you? I'm the park manager!
Well, I'm the colonel, which is about 100 positions higher than you!
[Col. Rawls snatches and chucks Benson's clipboard into the trash, incinerates like a black crumpled piece of paper; everyone gasps]
Oh, I'm done. [turns red] I'm done with all of this!
Then go, then! We can get a pod back to Earth for ya, quitter!
Sounds great! I'm out! [he walks out the office]
Shoot. I thought for sure that reverse psychology was gonna work.
Regular Show · 562 quotes
