I'm glad you could all join me for brunch today.
Do you even have to ask, Pops? It's to celebrate my amazing streak of good luck.
Yeah, don't you remember last night?
(A flasback is shown of Benson beating Rigby at cards)
RigbyAugh! You only beat me last night because of my bad luck.
No Rigby, I only beat you because of my good luck, and it's that luck that makes me trust that we're all going to love this restaurant that none of us have never even been to.
[The butterfly then lands on a bush. Pops is about to catch the butterfly, when...]
Come on, you know that's not the way you're supposed to do it!
Well, this way is totally faster.
Rigby
Yeah, cuts the time in half.
But you're actually CUTTING IT IN HALF, you idiots! ( The chainsaw fails to start off screen) Oh, and great, you manage to break the saw in the process! Now, we're gonna have to buy a new one!
[ We cut to Pops in the rose garden, he is drawing a rose on his notebook. He is on the stem, until he gets interrupted for the second time]
What are you guys doing?! Soda?! You can't use soda!
Oh, what, it's too hard to get the hose off the shed?! UNBELIEVABLE!
Rigby
Well, at least it's diet. Nobody drinks that.
I drink diet. Not only did you guys ruin the hose...
[angrily scribbles his drawing, grunts, and storms away in anger and frustration]
Okay, men, this is the hour of prominence. On my signal, charge! Woooooaahhhh--- [He is interrupted by Benson Yet again]
[outraged, offscreen] YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! [Pops lays back, irritated - Outside, Mordecai is holding something looking like wood] Give me that! What is this, SANDPAPER?! [Looks at the golf cart. It is all scratched up.] You're scratching up the whole thing!
Benson, would you come see me for a moment, please?
MRMordecai and Rigby
Oooooh, somebody's busted!
MRMordecai and Rigby
[Now rapping with taunt] B-b-busted! Benson's b-b-busted!
[Sighs] What is it, Pops? I'm in the middle of something.
Have a seat. [Benson sits down, sighs once more] Do you know why I called you in here?
Did you lose the colonel again? Try under your hat.
[Pops lifts his hat with the colonel inside, then puts his toy army men in the drawer]
It's a problem concerning Mordecai and Rigby.
What else is new? Don't worry, Pops, I'll take care of it.
Then we understand each other?
Absolutely. I've already warned them - one more screw-up and they're both fired.
But... Benson, I was referring to you.
I'd like you to stop yelling at Mordecai and Rigby.
Quite the opposite. It's too negative and bad for morale.
What morale? Those slackers never do anything unless you yell at them.
There's never a reason to yell at anyone.
They give me a million reasons everyday! Ptft, you just want me to be nice to them?
You don't have to be nice. Just don't yell.
[groans] Listen, Pops, I appreciate the concern, but I know how to do my job.
Benson, I think it's clear that my dad puts me in charge of running the park when he's not around, right?
And that means you must do what I say?
And I am ordering you to stop yelling at Mordecai and Rigby.
[ We cut to outside]
Rigby
So, what did Pops want?
Noth-- [quick zoom out] You guys are STILL NOT--?! [ Benson realizes he's angrily yelling, so he talks through his furious teeth]—guys are still not done?
What? You told us to take it nice and easy.
Rigby
Yeah, I get it now. It takes time to do things right.
You rush, you make mistakes.
[furiously facepalms] That's not the point I was trying to make.
And then we started thinking-why clean something anyways? Dirt is a natural thing. It's like part of life, you know? [Benson turns red and furiously sizzles]
Rigby
Yeah, and like, what is a hose? Hose...
Rigby
Hose?...
Hose... [Benson growls furiously, still red]
Rigby
Yeah, exactly. But when you turn it on... [accidentally sprays water on Benson which Ticks him off] ...Sorry.
(yells furiously, kicks Mordecai and Rigby out of his sight) GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! (Mordecai and Rigby run away. Pops then appears behind Benson )
Benson, what did we just discuss?
Yeah, but, come on, Pops. They were totally--
Benson, I'm serious about this issue. Now if you yell at them again, I'm going to have to write you up.
[Rubs face and frustratingly growls] Okay, okay. I'll try to get it under control.
(Clock transition to computer room. Benson is on the computer searching "Free anger management tips")
Recite a personal mantra. Omm? What does that even mean? Next. (searches again)
FFitch
Oh, hello, friend! I'm Fitch Munderson. (A dog runs up to him) And this is Kimmy.
Okay, where's this going? (fast-forwards the video)
FFitch
We have a sure-fire way to help you control your anger, for only $60.
Nope. (searches again while the screen is loading, then clicks several times while the screen is still loading) Ugh, come on! Close! (angrily growls) Omm...omm...omm...omm...omm...omm...(sighs) Huh. I guess it works.
(Cut to downstairs. The whole place has been torn apart. Mordecai and Rigby are seen searching for something)
Hey, Benson. Have you seen the keys to the cart?
Omm...omm...omm...omm...omm...omm...omm...
Rigby
We can't find them anywhere. (Breaks vase) Uh-oh.
(From the window, two people are seen driving the cart)
Never mind. I think I know where they are.
(growling, Now red with tears in his eyes) RRRRRAAAAAAUUUGGGGHHH!!!!!!
MRMordecai and Rigby
AAH! ( The duo then run away)
Benson! I warned you! (Writes on clipboard angrily)
Pops, you're writing me up?
You know what happens next, don't you? ( He angrily hands Benson the paper)
Of course. Verbal warning, write up, fired. But you wouldn't fire me, Pops.
What?! Pops, you can't take this job away from me! It's all I have!
I'm sorry, Benson. If you yell at Mordecai and Rigby again, I'll be forced to fire you.
(Pops leaves. Benson furiously turns red and angrily begins to jump several times while grunting)
Jeez, Benson, try counting to 10. (Benson furiously turns around and angrily grunts) Better make it 100. (leaves)
1, 2... (Cuts to outside) ...7, 8, 9... (Cuts to near the shed) ...75, 76, 77... (Benson suddenly stops and sees Mordecai and Rigby covered in pink paint, laughing)
Oh, hey, Benson! What's up? We're finally painting the shed! (Rigby throws himself on the wall, followed by Mordecai, who ends up going through the wall)
(furiously turns red and angrily growls. He then puts his hands on his face) 78, 79, 80, 81...
Rigby
Dude, what's he doing?
(continues counting) 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87...
I dunno. But what do you think he'll do when he gets to a hundred?
MRMordecai, Rigby, and Benson
...88, 89, 90, 91... (Benson stops and angrily growls, put his hands on his face again and then furiously storms off while panting, still red)
MRMordecai and Rigby
...92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99...
[Skips shuts off the computer, turns it on to find more malware in the computer; the printer explodes with all its paper shooting up the ceiling. Mordecai and Rigby enter]
Skips! What are you doing?!
I was just trying to fix your Error 219!
Rigby
[gets to computer] Eugh... But it's not a 219 anymore!
Yeah, while you were gone, we messed it up and now it's an Error 220!
Rigby
Ah, dude, it's even worse now!
Look, Skips, it's fine. We called someone to come fix it.
You what?! Look, guys, I can do this. I just need more time. When is this guy supposed to get here?
Okay, look, I can take care of this. If he gets here before me, stall him.
Rigby
Jeez!!
Okay, okay! [Skips leaves]
Rigby
Man, what's Skips's problem?
I don't know. I think he needs to realize that there's some things he just can't fix.
Man, last night was the best. The best.
Rigby
(while tapping on the keys of Mordecai's phone) Yeah, it was pretty fun.
I mean, Margaret and Eileen over for "Game Night," and nothing went wrong. No space portals, no video demons, nobody got hurt.
Rigby
Except for Eileen and I whipping your butts.
Whatever, I had fun. Dude come on help out. Benson's not going to let us have people over anymore if we leave this place a mess. And put down my new phone before you break it.
Rigby
Ok, just a sec. I am making you a new custom wallpaper.
AMAnswering Machine
We intercepted two frauds trying to access your voicemail without your permission.
STSpool of Thread
The one who claims to have a complicated relationship with you.
Don't listen to them, Margaret!
Rigby
Yeah, these guys are crazy!
Mordecai? Rigby? [annoyed] Wait, you guys tried to hack into my phone?
It was an accident! We didn't know it was your phone!
Well, we didn't know, but...
But what? I can't believe you would do something like that! I totally misjudged you!
Rigby
Dude, just come clean already.
(grunts) Okay, look. So I sat on my phone, and accidentally...
Rigby
He called you with his butt!
Yeah. So I accidentally left you a voicemail with me singing this dumb song. (Mordecai scratching his neck) It's really embarrassing. So we tried to erase it before you heard it.
You what? I want to hear the message!
AMAnswering Machine
Play the message!
WWaiter
Have you decided?
Uhh, I'll take the Eggs Benedict, a-and uh... orange juice.
Rigby
And I'll have the Eggscellent Challenge.
WWaiter
Oh... I wouldn't recommend the Eggscellent Challenge, it's more of a promotional item.
Rigby
Yeah, and it's the only reason we're here, so...
WWaiter
Sir, i-it's really just—
Rigby
Okay, hold on, hold on. I'm confused. I'm the customer, right?
Rigby
What does that sign say over there?
WWaiter
Uhh... "The customer is always right."
Rigby
And what am I?
Rigby
And the sign?
WWaiter
[annoyed] Sir, please!
Rigby
SAY IT!!
WWaiter
"The customer is always right."
Rigby
Hm-hm. Hm!
WWaiter
What would you like, sir?
Rigby
Bring me the omelette.
Good, you're all here. As you probably already know, today marks 5 years I've worked at the park. So in honor of me, we're eating at Fry it Up at 8:00!
Oh, no can do, Muscle Man.
Rigby
We already made plans with Margaret and Eileen.
Pssh, your loss, bros. While you're striking out with some chicks, we'll be scoring some wings! And some chicks! Am I right, Skips?
Sorry, I can't either. I'm bowling with Pops and Benson.
Ugh! Well, it looks like it's just me and you tonight, Fives.
Low-Five is graduating from the police academy tonight! He's my brother, I have to go!
Hey, Rigby! I've got good news! [Rigby gasps] I put you down as an alternate.
Rigby
What? Why?
Come on, dude. I'm just trying to win the Glove.
Rigby
Then why did you pick Skips?! He's not even good at video games!
Rigby
Why would you pick Skips over me?! He's HORRIBLE at video games!!
No he's NOT! [furiously shoves Rigby down the floor; a crowd of people whoop]
CCrowd
Cooooooooooool! [Rigby gets up, looks at Mordecai panting angrily]
Rigby, I picked Skips because you're horrible at video games. [closeup on Rigby, shocked and becomes enraged at what Mordecai says to him]
Rigby
[Enraged] Fine! Forget you, then! I hope you have as much fun winning the Glove as you did losing your best friend. [he angrily storms off]
Rigby!! [see Rigby leaving with people blocking the exit]
I know what you're doing, Mordecai, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed in you.
[sighs] Look, Skips, I wanna win the Maximum Glove for me and Rigby to share, but I just can't play with him. He's not good enough at video games to win.
Mordecai, I know you wanna make Rigby happy by winning that Glove, but are you sure you're going about this the right way?
Don't worry about it. He'll get over it when we win the Glove. Let's go.
Regular Show · 562 quotes
