Rigby Riggerson quotes from Regular Show

[coughs twice] Thank...You. [passes out, unconscious]

Mordecai

He still counts as a skunk, right?

Rigby

Totally counts as a skunk.

Mordecai

Sorry, guys.

Rigby

Yeah, sorry.

Mordecai

We didn't mean to ruin your good time.

Benson

No, no! I don't wanna hear it. Hey, I don't know what was on that tape or why those guys were after it, but I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. (Turns red) YOU'VE RUINED KARAOKE NIGHT!!!!!!

Mordecai

Yeah, uh– I know, that's why we tried to... apologize... to you. Man, karaoke sucks.

Pops

It seems the honorable thing to do is apologize. Oh look! [holds up a joker card with Benson on it] This one is you! [giggles]

Benson

[sighs] Alright.

Skips

Hmph. [tosses a walkie talkie to Benson]

Benson

Mordecai, Rigby, are you there? Pick up!

Skips

[reaches for walkie talkie] Let me try. Mordecai, Rigby. Are you there?

Rigby

(over walkie talkie) Hey Skips.

Benson

Tell them I want to talk to them! Tell them!

Skips

Where are you? [skips away] Where are you guys?

Benson

This wouldn't have happened if you guys had done your job!

Rigby

No, no, no! You can't get mad this time! You messed up, not us!

Benson

Argh! Just LISTEN to me!

Mordecai

You know what, Benson? Forget it. [shoves Benson out of the cart and takes the wheel] Thanks for all your help, but we can get the stick hockey table without you. [he and Rigby drive off]

Benson

What the heck?! How am I supposed to get back to the park?!

[laughs] I'm just yanking your chain, man. It's cool.

Rigby

Huh?

Mordecai

[laughs] OOOOOOOOHHHHH!

[puts hand on Mordecai's shoulder] Uh, he's had enough.

Rigby

Hm.

Benson

Man, Skips is on fire tonight! Another perfect game!

Mordecai

We're going to the championship, baby!

You guys wouldn't be so great if it wasn't for Skips.

Mordecai

Well, we can't help that he's just plain awesome, right, Skips?

Skips

Hey, that's just how I roll.

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!

Benson

There she is, guys. Isn't she a beaut?

Rigby

I want that beaut.

Benson

So who are we up against?

Mordecai

Some team called the Magical Elements.

Rigby

The Magical Elements. Hm, hm, more like the Magical Loserments.

Death

What did you say about us?

Mordecai

Did you guys see that?!

Skips

This is not good.

Benson

What are we gonna do then?!

Rigby

Guys...?

Mordecai

What, what is it?

Muscle Man

I told you I was ripped... [falls forward and dies]

AHHH! [telephone rings] AHHH!

Skips

[last words] No, Fives, WAIT!

Hi Five Ghost

[answers phone] Hello?

Goodbye! [sucks Hi Five Ghost into the phone and squirts him out as a liquid all over Skips and Mordecai, as Benson vomits his gumballs]

Hi Five Ghost

[last words] Worst phone call ever.

If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen!

What's up, gumball?

Pops

[in bedroom] Show yourself... Bad show, very bad show! [door opens] AHHH!

Rigby

What's happening? Hello, is anybody there? Can anyone hear me?

Mordecai

[wakes up] Rigby?

Rigby

Mordecai!

Mordecai

Don't worry, Rigby, I'm here. I won't anything happen to you.

Mordecai

[last words] Huh, so this is what it feels like to be as tall as Rigby.

Rigby

Mordecai? Mordecai? I'm sorry, okay?! I shouldn't have egged your house; do you hear me?! I'm sorry!

I told you you'd pay.

Rigby

Well then, what are you waiting for?! Do it! Do it already!

Rigby

Huh, what?!

How do you like it?

Rigby

What?! You turned me into a house and killed all of my friends just to throw eggs at me?! THAT'S IT?!

Yep, that's it.

Margaret

Hey, guys. Do you need any more-?

Rigby

SSHHHHH! This is it.

Your weekend weather forecast. Hope you have your sunglasses ready.

Rigby

You probably shouldn't go, Margaret. I bet your boyfriend won't like you going out on a camping trip with you dudes.

Margaret

Ugh, what boyfriend? Not see anyone right now. Guys are jerks.

Mordecai

Gah, I know, right? Guys are the worst.

Mordecai

If we can get you to admit that we're cool, then you have to give us the cart back.

Benson

Sounds good to me 'cause it'll never happen.

Rigby

You're wrong! You're all like "that'll never happen", and then we'll get all cool and you'll be all like "whoa" and then we'll be all like "in your face!"

Benson

Ha, then I'll be all like "GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!"

Hey, Margaret.

Mordecai

Hey, is it true? Did you really move out of the house?

Rigby

Yeah, we did! 'cause Benson got all rulesy!

Mordecai

We had no choice. It was either leave or live with some other dude with rules.

Margaret

Wow, Mordecai! I didn't know you were such a rebel.

Mordecai

Yep. You know me. Total rebel. [they both laugh]

Well, good night. [almost closes door, but Mordecai stops the action with his foot]

Mordecai

Actually, we don't have anywhere to sleep, so we were hoping you would let us camp out here tonight.

Mordecai

I wish I could, but, my manager has a rule about that kind of thing. [pans over to guy in white shirt. He sticks a paper to the window that reads, "get lost campers"] Sorry, guys.

Mordecai

It's cool. I'm sure we can find some place to crash that isn't so big on rules. Later!

Mordecai

Dude, this is getting intense... [Mordecai is disappointing]

Rigby

[moans] No! More! RUUUUULES! [zoom out before an earthquake, followed by a gust, occurs, followed by a mysterious laugh]

Benson

Hey, guys. Listen, when you've got a minute, I need you to take a look at these.

Mordecai

Sure, Benson. [hands over "Benson's House Rules" book] Oh, the house rules? Thanks, but we already have these.

Benson

Uh, no, you don't. Cos I've added a few new ones in there and I'm gonna need you to sign off on them, okay? [leaves]

Rigby

Aw, man, more rules?! He's gotta be joking!

Mordecai

Alright, let's see. "Rule #114: No feet on the table." [Mordecai and Rigby's feet are on the table, then they take them off, moaning] "Rule #115: No food on the table." [food is seen on the table, so they knock it all off]

Rigby

Fine!

Mordecai

"Rule #116: No food on the floor."

Rigby

WHAT?! That's going WAY too far!! [growls while straining himself to lift the table] Come on, man! Help me flip the table!

Mordecai

No, dude, just chill out. There's only one more new rule left.

Rigby

What is it?

Mordecai

No video games!?!

Rigby

Are you nuts?!

Benson

"Rule #47: No yelling!"

Rigby

You can't take video games away from us, man! What're we supposed to do?!

Benson

Work. You're supposed to work.

Mordecai

You know what? We're sick of all your rules! "No prank calls, no rock-paper-scissors, no punchies — no unicorns"? What does that even mean?!

Rigby

These rules are all totally random, Benson, and they're all aimed at us!

Benson

That's not true. "Number 68: no harpsichord playing after 10 pm."

Rigby

[to Mordecai] I actually kinda like that one.

Mordecai

Yeah, but that's the only good one in there. The rest of them are terrible!

Benson

Look, I'm doing you a favor. Life without rules is chaos.

Mordecai

Fine, but we're only signing off on the rules we like.

Rigby

Yeah, like the harpsichord one!

Benson

It doesn't work that way! If you can't agree to live by all the house rules, THEN YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THIS HOUSE!!!

Mordecai

Well then, we won't live in this house!

Rigby

Yeah, cos your rules are wack!

Mordecai

We'll show you. We're not gonna live with any rules at all.

Benson

Well, well, well. Wasn't so easy living without rules, was it? [opens book] Wait a minute. One of these rules is missing.

Rigby

Oh, no. Which one?

Benson

I don't know, there's over a hundred of these things!

Mordecai

Well, then, how do you know it's missing?

Benson

[outraged] BECAUSE SOMEBODY RIPPED IT OUT!!!

Mordecai

That's crazy. I wonder which one it is.

Hmph. Hmph. I don't need those guys, I can play video games by myself. [The ripped page falls onto his lap. It is Rule #117: No Video Games] NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[unimpressed after the movie ends] What?

Rigby

[amazed] Whoa! That was awesome!

Margaret

I can't believe you guys think that's cool.

Eileen

Yeah. That movie was chauvinistic and also inaccurate.

Mordecai

I don't know. I heard that movie was based on a true story.

Rigby

If this movie has taught us anything, and it definitely has, you only need one thing to get a girl's number… A sweet ride.

Eileen

I mean, not necessarily. You could just, you know, ask a girl for it, Rigby.

Rigby

Eileen, don't be so naive, that would never work.

Mordecai

Rigby's right. It's a known fact that wheels make you more attractive.

Rigby

A known fact! I don't know how many times I've almost gotten a girl's number, then some guy in a muscle car would swing in and totally ruin my game.

Margaret

Oh, guys. You're kidding, right?

Mordecai

Are you saying you wouldn't give us your number if we pulled up in some cool wheels?

Margaret

You dorks would never be able to get a girl's number cruising.

Mordecai

Oh, yeah?

Margaret

Yeah.

Rigby

[hops onto the table] Let's bet on it!

Rigby

Dude, Benson! What's the rush? It's not like you have somewhere to be.

Benson

Yeah, actually, I do! I do have a life outside of work, you know.

Rigby

Yeah, right. Where are you gonna go, Benson?

Mordecai

Yeah, where are you gonna go, dude?

Benson

JUST HOLD THE LADDER!

Rigby

Come on, man! Spill it. Where are you going to go?

Mordecai

Dude, Rigby! Leave him alone! Can't you tell you're annoying him?