But it's hideous! That's the best design they could come up with!? Are you seriously telling me there were choices and someone said "Ah. There. That's it. That's the shape we're looking for; the 'last-chicken-in-the-shop' look." Shakepseare had one. Einstein. Perry Como sang 'Memories Are Made of This' with one of those stashed in his slacks!?'
There is. (pause) All you've gotta do is hang around here for 24 hours. Then, if you find your limbs scattered across deep space and your neck full of saliva, you can take it as read it probably wasn't Babs.
One of the prisoners. And considering the ship was transporting forty psychotic, half-crazed, mass-murdering, super-strong androids, we thought it prudent to find out who the smeg was in there before we woke them up.
Well, there is. All you 'ave to do is 'ang around 'ere for 24 hours. Then, if you find your limbs scattered across deep space and your neck full of saliva, you can take it as read it probably wasn't Babs.
I know. I had a mechanoid friend once who suffered from the same affliction. His name was Gilbert, but he preferred it if people called him "Rameses Niblick the Third, Kerplunk Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble?". A sad case.
Well, if you ask me the eskimos had the right idea. They kmew how to handle the elderly and the permanently baffled: middle of the night, they'd take the out into the blizzard, remove their pyjamas, and just leave them to it.
Look, I don't want any toast, and he (pointing to Kryten) doesn't want any toast. In fact, no-one around 'ere wants any toast! Not now - not ever. No toast!
Or muffins, we don't like muffins round 'ere! We want no muffins, no toast, no tea cakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot cross buns! And definitely no smegging flapjacks!
But there are fifty-three doors between here and the Science Room!
Lister
They're only internal doors, they're only a light alloy. We could get through 'em if we had a battering ram. Something... I dunno... about six foot long, fairly sturdy, with a flat top.
What are you drivelling about, Lister? We're talking about a computer with an IQ in excess of twelve thousand.
Lister
Doesn't mean she can play pool. I can. Trust me. I know whereof I speak. Aigburth Arms on a Friday night, they used to call me Dave "Cinzano Bianco" Lister, 'cause once I was on the table, you couldn't get rid of me. This pool arm is as sound as a dollarpound, and I promise you that shot will not come off! She's topped it, that's what she's done, she's topped it! It's a felt-ripper! That planet is off the table and into somebody's pint of beer!
Red Dwarf · 473 quotes
Lister
