[The Girls break into Mojo's lair and beat him up]
MojoWHAT IS THE MEANING OF—?!
Don't play dumb! We know you've got some evil plot underway!
Mojo
What are you talking about?
Oh, like you don't have a giant robot ready to smash Townsville!
Mojo
No.
No diabolical plans to destroy the world?
Mojo
No.
Turn everyone into zombies and you scare people?!
Mojo
Oh, for crying out loud, NO! I have no intentions of committing any crimes... today.
Then what were you doing before we got here?!
Mojo
Sleeping!
Mojo
Reading the paper!
Oh. Well, you better behave yourself, or we'll be back!
Mojo
[sarcastically] Oh goodness, I'd better not snore.
[The Girls have just broken into Him's lair to find him doing aerobics]
[effeminate] Hello, girls. What a pleasant surprise! Ooh, what's the occasion?
How I stay so fit? Well, now you know.
Uh, no, actually. Did you do anything evil today?
No, not today. Why do you ask?
No reason, just wondering.
This figure doesn't come easy, you know. I took a little time off to get into shape.
Okay, I guess we'll see you later.
[The Girls fly away]
Goodbye, girls. Come back soon. [stretches his left arm as he reaches the telephone receiver] Goodbye...
[Cut to Mojo's base]
Mojo
[on the phone with Fuzzy] All right, all right, Fuzzy, I heard you the first time...I know. [the line beeps] I kn - hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line. [presses a button to pick up another call]
[over the phone, demonic] Mojo! It's me, [effeminate] Him!
Mojo
Yes, sir! What is it?
[demonic] You won't believe what just happened.
Mojo
The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?
Mojo
The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.
BUSHWHACKED IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!!!
Mojo
You are right! We're all citizens! Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless!
Mojo
But to whom?
[Cut to the Town Hall where the Gangreen Gang sleeps in the Mayor's office. The phone rings]
[answers the phone] Hello?
I demand to speak with the Mayor!
He's not here right now. Can I take a massage?
Do you know when he'll be back?
Uh... I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff Hotline to make crank calls.
Huh?! [effeminate] You don't say. Well, to whom might I be speaking?
Big Billy from the Gangreen Gang. Who is this? Hello?
[A crash suddenly shakes the room, snapping the Gangreen Gang awake. Him, Mojo Jojo, and Fuzzy Lumpkins have come in]
[effeminate] So! You guys like to make [demonic] crank calls!
[Him, Mojo, and Fuzzy proceed to beat up the Gangreen Gang]
Oh, of all the foolishness. Cut the ribbon, pshaw. Oh, my!
[He nervously sneaks past the fighting villains and heads for the phone. Back at the Girls' house, they are sleeping at night when the hotline buzzes]
Powerpuff Girls, you're not gonna believe this! The Gangreen Gang, Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Him are fighting right here in my office!
[hangs up] Yeah, right, Mayor, very funny.
[The hotline buzzes again. Buttercup uses her laser eyes to destroy it]
GGirls
Goodnight, Professor.
So once again the day is saved. Thanks to... Mojo, Fuzzy and Him?
[The Powerpuff Girls have opened the Amoeba Boys' present]
[holding up needles] Voodoo dolls! Ha ha! Let the torture begin!
Mojo Jojo
You pinheads! You're not supposed to give THEM the dolls! The dolls are what YOU stick the needles in!
[with the needles sticking into himself] So? What's your point?
[Mojo and Princess groan]
Mojo Jojo
Now we'll definitely never destroy those brats!
[dejected] We're sorry...
Mojo Jojo
[with bloodshot eyes and a crazed smile] I know who took my plans! [his eyes turn slowly to his left, then he suddenly points to his right] It was YOU! [a bird at his window chirps innocently] Well, then...it was YOU! [points at his telephone] It was ALL of you! [the room starts shaking] Ohh, the pounding, the pounding, why won't it stop?
[pounding on the door] Why-won't-this-guy-answer?!
Mojo Jojo
[throws the door open] WHAAAAAT?!?
[politely] Hello! Please, Mr. Mojo, sir. Could we please borrow your supercharged high-tech laser, please?
Mojo Jojo
Okay, okay, just don't bother me again. I'm trying to find my plans on how to destroy you.
[with Mojo's high-tech laser] THANK YOU, MOJO!
[Mojo sees the Powerpuff Girls trapped in the machine he planned, with the clueless Amoeba Boys at the control panel]
Mojo Jojo
MY MACHINE!!
JJunior
[playing with the aiming yoke] Duh, hey, look, Boss, I'm drivin'!
Mojo Jojo
[shoves them away] Get out of here! This is my machine! [laughs evilly] Now I've got you, Powerpuff Girls! And it is my plan that will destroy you! And then I will rule the world!
This is the Amoebas' plan!
Yeah! You're just jealous!
Mojo Jojo
[shocked and confused] No! No! It is mine, I tell you! I came up with the crab! And the laser! And even the chewing gum that holds you!
Girls! "Chew" thinking what I'm thinking?
BBBubbles, Buttercup
[nodding] Mmm-hmm!
[They chew their way free and fly at Mojo, blowing huge bubbles that burst explosively, knocking him from his seat. They give him a beatdown as per usual, and then turn to the Amoeba Boys]
Well, Amoeba Boys, playing dumb all these years!
When all the while, you were criminal masterminds!
Looks like it's the big house for you!
Mojo Jojo
[going ballistic] But it is I who planned it! I did it, not them! I am the criminal mastermind! I am the evil genius! I smart! They dumb! I am responsible for trying to destroy you!
[smiling] Okay. Then you go to jail.
Mojo
[triumphantly] That's right!
[Bubbles is revealed to be wearing Mojo Jojo's clothes]
BBBlossom, Buttercup
Bubbles?!
Mojo Jojo
[in a towel] Bubbles.
[in a Mojo-like manner] I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not who I am! I am the one, the only, single solitary doer of dastardly deeds! Purveyor of pestilence! Interloper of lawlessness! Menace to mankind! I am bad! I am evil! I am Mojo Jojo! Hahahahahahahaha!
Mojo Jojo
[annoyed] I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is much different! I do not reiterate, repeat, reinstate the same thing over and over again! I am clear! Concise! To-the-point! I--
[Buttercup starts beating him up]
Take this! And that! And some of these! And one of those!
What kind of evil have you bestowed upon our sister?!
Mojo Jojo
You've got to be kidding. I'm wet! I'm naked! Your sister is wearing my clothes! And this is all part of some evil plot... TO RULE THE WORLD AS A SOGGY CHIMP IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT?!?!?
MBMojo Bubbles
[after Mojo offers that they both work as a team and take over the world] I am not Bubbles! Bubbles is not my name! For the name Bubbles is not the correct name to address me by, because is not my name! If you were to address me by the name Mojo Jojo, that would be correct, for my name is Mojo Jojo! And I will only be addressed by that name, which is Mojo Jojo! And furthermore, it is not "we" who will rule the world - it is "I"! I, being Mojo Jojo - who is not Bubbles - shall rule this world alone, which is to say, without anybody else, and without anybody else shall I rule this world! And when this world is ruled by only one person, and not a collective group, that one person who shall be ruling the world will be none other than me, Mojo Jojo! Hahahahahahahaha!
Mojo Jojo
Oh, SHUT UP!!!
[He hits her around the head with a girder, then reclaims his helmet]
Mojo Jojo
That's all just well enough, because in reality there is only room enough in this world for one Mojo Jojo. One shall be the number of Mojo Jojos in the world, and the number of Mojo Jojos in the world shall be one! Two Mojo Jojos is too many, and three is right out! So, the only Mojo Jojo there is room for in the world SHALL BE ME! And being the only Mojo Jojo in the world, I will rule the world, in which there is only one MOJO JOJO!!!
[Picks up the phone] Hello?
Mojo Jojo
Hello. May I speak to Professor Utonium?
Who shall I say is calling?
Mojo Jojo
Oh, no one he'd know, just a curious stranger.
[Pause]
[Yelling] PROFESSOR! There's a stranger on the phone!
[picking up the phone] Hello, Mr. Stranger, what can I do for you?
Mojo Jojo
Oh. [Clears throat] Ah, hi, I'm calling from Townsville Community College and I'm doing a report on the Powerpuff Girls, and I was wondering, what exactly are those little girls made of?
Ah, oh, well, the Powerpuff Girls. Oh, let's see now, eight cups of sugar, a pinch of spice, one tablespoon of everything nice, and, now this one's important: accidentally add a drop of Chemical X. And voila!
Mojo Jojo
That's it? I mean, wow. Thanks.
I also have a great recipe for pound--
[Mojo hangs up]
[After creating three Puff-esque boys, Mojo hugs them in a fatherly manner]
Mojo Jojo
Ah, my children!
[grabs him threateningly] Hands off! Who do you think you are anyway, Pops?!
Mojo Jojo
Why, yes, I am your father, children!
RBRowdyruff Boys
WE'RE THE ROWDYRUFF BOYS!
We're here to kick some butt! And since yours is the only one around, we're gonna start with you!
Mojo Jojo
Oh, no, boys. You don't want to kick my butt; my butt is as rotten as yours. What you want are butts settled on the throne of justice!
RBThe Rowdyruff Boys
Yeah!
Mojo Jojo
Butts planted in the soil of nobility!
RBThe Rowdyruff Boys
Yeah!
Mojo Jojo
Butts nestled between the pillars of peace and love! The butts you want to kick are the butts of the Powerpuff Girls!
RBThe Rowdyruff Boys
Let's get 'em!
[Mojo Jojo is forced to tell the Girls a bedtime story]]
Mojo Jojo
Very well, then. I will tell you my favorite story... ABOUT THE GREATEST CONQUEROR WHO EVER LIVED! Napoleon! [He envisions himself as Napoleon] He was a mighty man, feared by all who looked up to him. Using his genius and his loyal army, he conquered all of Europe, then all of Russia, and finally the whole world. The end.
[Sing-song voice] BO-RING! [Mojo's vision is shattered]
Your story's all wrong! Napoleon's 1807 seizure of Portugal and the subsequent Rebellion by the Spaniards cost France over 300,000 casualties, untold sums of money, and contributed to the eventual weakening of the Napoleonic Empire! [Whacks Mojo with her pillow]
And your analysis on the Invasion of Russia is also incorrect! Napoleon's invasion of 1812 resulted in massive casualties of his troops, due to starvation and inclement conditions, and ended in a disastrous retreat from Moscow with his army defeated! [Whacks Mojo with her pillow]
Yeah, dummy! And when he returned to France, the Allied Nations of Europe united against him, which led to his eventual defeat at the Battle of Waterloo on June 18, 1815, whereafter he was exiled to the island of St. Helena, where he died a miserable death from stomach cancer on May 5, 1821, stupid! [Whacks Mojo with her pillow]
[After learning that Mojo violated their agreement and stole the candy jar, the Girls furiously break into his jail cell]
Mojo Jojo
[resting smugly with the jar] Back so soon? [eats a piece of candy]
Mojo Jojo
Don't get me wrong. Destroying Townsville on a daily basis is a pretty good gig. But to be able to take away that which gave you so much joy, to destroy your happiness, is just so much more satisfying to the soul. If only I could have seen the look on your faces when you realized! I think I can imagine...
[The Girls are now seething with barely restrained rage]
[ominously] You're a bad monkey, Mojo.
Mojo Jojo
[with giddy glee] I know!
[The Girls snap, screaming; they start beating Mojo up more viciously than usual, knocking him to the floor at Buttercup's feet]
What's going on here? What?
Mojo Jojo
[now scared] Um...
Huh? Oh, what, you going for something? [sees him glancing at the jar] You going for that?
Mojo Jojo
N-No...
Mojo Jojo
Uh, I wasn't--
Mojo Jojo
No!
Mojo Jojo
No...!
[Buttercup stomps straight down into his mouth, and the merciless beatdown continues, leaving Mojo a twisted, battered wreck, barely able to even form a coherent word]
Mojo Jojo
[groaning] Mommy...
[The Girls pause for a moment, breathing through clenched teeth, but when Mojo actually sheds a tear, Blossom comes to her senses and gasps, horrified by their actions]
What have we done? Look at us. Look at Mojo. This isn't who we are. This is crazy!
[Bubbles and Buttercup now also start to look ashamed]
But... what about the candy?
It was the candy that did this to us. The candy made us something we're not.
The Powerpuff Girls · 276 quotes
