[To Mojo Jojo on the phone; demonic voice] Mojo! It's me... [Effeminate voice] Him!
Oh! Yes, sir! What is it?
[Demonic] You wouldn't believe what just happened!
The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?
WHAT?! How did you know?!
The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.
[Mojo puts Fuzzy on the line]
Fuzzy Lumpkins[Shaking with fury] BUSHWHACKED IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!!
You are right! We are all citizens! Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless!
Fuzzy Lumpkins
BIRTHDAY SUIT!! [Cries]
[demonic voice] We should complain!
[The Girls have just broken into Him's lair to find him doing aerobics]
[effeminate] Hello, girls. What a pleasant surprise! Ooh, what's the occasion?
How I stay so fit? Well, now you know.
Uh, no, actually. Did you do anything evil today?
No, not today. Why do you ask?
No reason, just wondering.
This figure doesn't come easy, you know. I took a little time off to get into shape.
Okay, I guess we'll see you later.
[The Girls fly away]
Goodbye, girls. Come back soon. [stretches his left arm as he reaches the telephone receiver] Goodbye...
[Cut to Mojo's base]
[on the phone with Fuzzy] All right, all right, Fuzzy, I heard you the first time...I know. [the line beeps] I kn - hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line. [presses a button to pick up another call]
[over the phone, demonic] Mojo! It's me, [effeminate] Him!
[demonic] You won't believe what just happened.
The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?
The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.
Fuzzy
BUSHWHACKED IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!!!
You are right! We're all citizens! Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless!
Fuzzy
BIRTHDAY SUIT!!! [sobs]
[Cut to the Town Hall where the Gangreen Gang sleeps in the Mayor's office. The phone rings]
[answers the phone] Hello?
I demand to speak with the Mayor!
He's not here right now. Can I take a massage?
Do you know when he'll be back?
Uh... I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff Hotline to make crank calls.
Huh?! [effeminate] You don't say. Well, to whom might I be speaking?
Big Billy from the Gangreen Gang. Who is this? Hello?
[A crash suddenly shakes the room, snapping the Gangreen Gang awake. Him, Mojo Jojo, and Fuzzy Lumpkins have come in]
[effeminate] So! You guys like to make [demonic] crank calls!
[Him, Mojo, and Fuzzy proceed to beat up the Gangreen Gang]
Oh, of all the foolishness. Cut the ribbon, pshaw. Oh, my!
[He nervously sneaks past the fighting villains and heads for the phone. Back at the Girls' house, they are sleeping at night when the hotline buzzes]
Powerpuff Girls, you're not gonna believe this! The Gangreen Gang, Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Him are fighting right here in my office!
[hangs up] Yeah, right, Mayor, very funny.
[The hotline buzzes again. Buttercup uses her laser eyes to destroy it]
GGirls
Goodnight, Professor.
So once again the day is saved. Thanks to... Mojo, Fuzzy and Him?
DDentist
[after working on Mojo's teeth] Okay, Mr. Jojo, you're all done, and since you've been such a good boy, here's a lollipop.
[Mojo, his cheeks swollen, walks out of the examination room, clutching a lollipop]
[Mojo sees the Gangreen Gang, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Him in the waiting room with their faces swollen and needing dental care]
[lisping] What happened to you guys?! No, don't tell me. Buttercup?! I bet you were just sitting at home, minding your own business, when all of a sudden, bam, pow, crack! Buttercup bursts in, and starts beating your face, knocks out as many teeth that she can, and then takes off with them!
[the other villains groan in pain and agreement]
[lisping] This is an outrage!
GGGangreen Gang, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Him
Huh?
[lisping] AN OUTRAGE! AN OUTRAGE!!! Something must be done!
[Mojo fires laser beams from his robot, Him fires with his energy beam from his mouth, and Princess fires her blaster rays from her hands, hitting the girls. Fuzzy throws a rock on them. They are stunned]
[effeminate] Did we just do what I think we did?
Yes. Individually, we have failed time and again. But together, we are victorious!
I propose we join forces, and merge into one super-villain conglomerate!
Fuzzy Lumpkins
Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup? We beat 'em? We beat all of 'em?!
[effeminate] That's it! We will be known as...the Silver Beat-Alls!
No. Too fancy. We shall be known simply as...the Beat-Alls!
["A Hard Day's Night" is heard as their faces are half-hidden in shadow a la the Beatles album]
SBStuart Best
[voice over] And Fuzzy, the shy one...
Fuzzy Lumpkins
I'm gonna let you down and leave you flat! [throws the rock and crushes the girls, silencing them]
SBStuart Best
[voice over] ...provides the rock. Thus the Brutish Invasion had begun. [the girls are repeatedly blasted and crushed] Again... and again... and again... [the Beat-Alls are leaning over a balcony smiling down, reminiscent of the Beatles' album Please Please Me] ...the girls were defeated by the Beat Alls. Till eventually, [they disappear] the girls stopped showing up entirely. [the Beat-Alls are pummeling a band that bears a striking resemblance to the Beatles] And the Beat-Alls had a ticket to ride.
[to the audience] Will the people in the cheap seats please leave? And the rest of you, hand over your jewelry!
[They do, followed by B&W head shots of each villain in various goofy poses]
SBStuart Best
[voice over] Having finally bested the Powerpuff Girls, the Beat-Alls rushed to the top of the charts of the Most Wanted list. [wanted posters appear on the screen] When questioned, authorities had this to say.
SPSgt. Pepper
[resembles Old Fred from Yellow Submarine] Thank you. My name is Sergeant Pepper of the Townsville Police, and at the request of my commanding officers, I'd like to make this statement. [clearing throat, as the parody tune of Hey Bulldog begins] Help! We need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! We need the Powerpuff Girls! [clearing throat again] Thank you.
[Mojo Jojo and Moko Jono are screaming their heads off, making everyone cover their ears in irritation, including the other Beat-Alls]
[effeminate] Mojo! Mojo! [demonic] MOJO!
[effeminate] I STILL DON'T GET IT!
THE LOUDER YOU YELL, THE MORE PAIN IT CAUSES THE LISTENER! AND THEIR PAIN IS OUR PLEASURE!
[Several citizens are shown covering their ears, including the Beatles themselves]
[demonic] UGH! MOJO, YOU'RE A PAIN!
Fuzzy Lumpkins
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!
FPFuzzy, Princess and Him
WE QUIT!
GOOD, GOOD! BUT EVEN LOUDER!
[The other Beat-Alls groan and storm off]
Fuzzy Lumpkins
Now what do we do?
[effeminate] Let's get back to where we once belonged.
Having dealt with the positive side of the spectrum, I decided to find the people who knew them on a working level: their evil counterparts. [cut to Princess Morbucks approaching her limousine with two beefy bodyguards] But this proved even more fleeting.
[Cut to The Gangreen Gang who attack him, causing the camera view to shift erratically until he runs. Cut to a forest]
Fuzzy Lumpkins
[waving his shotgun] GET OFFA MY PROPERTY, DAGNABIT!
Yeah, but wait, I just want to...
Fuzzy
NO TRESPASSIN'! [swings the weapon; there is static]
[Cut to the observatory]
Mr. Mojo? Uh, hi. My name is Brian, and I'm making a documentary, and I'd like to talk with you...
[over intercom, impatiently] Can't talk, planning evil scheme.
The Powerpuff Girls · 276 quotes
