Dr. Doofenshmirtz quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

And now Perry the Platypus, you will finally understand my pain. Back in Gimmelschtump in the days of my youth, the Doofenshmirtzes were a proud family. But those were lean times for my father, and our beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. Who would protect our ancient garden from witches, spells, and wood trolls? From a tender age, my father decided that it will be me. While the other children played kick the schumptel and ate doonkelberries, I would stand for hours. All through the cold night, as the spitzenhounds howled... My only companion was the moon. And my neighbor Kenny. So, since my lawn gnome was taken from me, I will destroy every lawn gnome in the entire Tri-State Area!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Unfortunately, my birthday has always been the lousiest day of the year. It all began on the day of my actual birth. Both of my parents failed to show up.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Ah, Perry the Platypus. Your timing is impeccable. And by "impeccable," I mean completely peccable!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

I hate to be a stickler, but the lava is coming AGAIN! FASTER!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Behold, the Melt-inator 6-5000! It has a melting capacity... of 7! That's on a scale from 1 to 5, so that's a big number.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Perry the Platypus. As usual, your timing is incredible. And by incredible, of course, I mean completely credible!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Is my nose really that pointy?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[upon seeing Perry] Perry the Platypus, how unexpected! And by unexpected, I really mean unexpected--what are you doing here? This is my week off.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

That sounded like screaming children. But it's not my birthday.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Curse you, Peter the Panda!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Perry the Platypus, I-I'm so sorry I hurt you, when I wasn't actually trying to hurt you. If you give me another chance, I promise to hurt you in the right way. With cartoonish physical violence and elaborate traps constructed out of strange things I purchased over the internet. What do you say?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Perry the Platypus, you are no match for my pigeons.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

He's escaping! WITH THE POOPINATOR!

Doofenshmirtz

Oh, no! Now I'm ugly! [realizes he didn't change] Oh? Oh, I get it. Hardy-har-har.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Look here, I wrote "big laundry" and I don't even remember what the reason was. I guess I assumed I'd remember, like it was some big genius idea... Big laundry, BIG LAUNDRY! It's crazy, I'm a crazy person.