What's that noise? Is that your stomach?
[Ferb nods]
Yeah, I'm hungry too. That trendy restaurant Mom and Dad took us to last night wasn't exactly satisfying.
[flashback to last night]
Dad, can I borrow your glasses? I can't see my entrée. You know, because it's so small?
[holding his glasses] Yes, I think we got that.
[Phone rings] S'up, Stace?
Candace, are you sitting down? I don't want you to have an aneurysm.
Why would I have an aneurysm?
Someone just IM'd me that someone else heard someone else overhear that Jeremy is gonna call you and ask you out for a special evening tonight! [Both squeal] Candace, do you need medical attention?
Oh, I need attention from the doctor of love!
[Deep voice] Well, let me take care of that, little lady.
[Both laugh]
Wow. A special evening. [Phone beeps] It's my call waiting.
[Both scream]
Honey, just calling to remind you- [Phone beeps]
BufordYou're not on the list. You should have made a reservation yesterday.
This restaurant didn't exist yesterday. I demand to be let in right now.
Buford
Good evening, sir.
Oh, I forgot to make a reservation. [Slips Buford some money]
Buford
No problem, dude.
Did that guy just bribe you?
Buford
He didn't bribe me. He just caught my attention in a monetary fashion. Now, back in line.
[Baljeet walks over to Buford, carrying a plate of peanut bags]
Buford
That better not be insignificant bags of peanuts!
No, no, of course not sir. [he leaves; ripping and clinking noises are heard, then reappears with a plate of peanuts shaped like a cooked chicken] Here, sir. Try our Deluxe Peanut Chicken! Our motto is "so peanutty, you will not even taste the chicken!"
[singing] So peanutty, you won't even taste the chicken!
Buford
I better not taste any chicken then, loser! [takes bite] Alright, you survive. For now.
[Candace is currently facing off with Buford in Phineas' game show]
Buford
Pocket lint!
Buford
Dolomite!
Buford
Tralfazz!
Tralfazz? ["TRALFAZZ?!" appears on her podium]
Buford
That's right, Tralfazz! ["TRALFAZZ!" appears on his podium]
["FINE TRALFAZZ" appears on a puzzle board Ferb is presenting dressed as a girl]
What's that grinding sound?
Buford
Tuff Gum! Like the song says:
CSCommercial singer
Pound nerds like a drum, stop a train with your thumb, it's Tuff Gum!
Buford
Nah, I don't think so. It's for bullies only.
[Ferb gives Phineas some regular gum and they chew]
CSCommercial singer
Regular Gum!
Buford
I don't know if this is working out. Can you talk in an Indian accent?
NNerd
Indian accent? No. I can do an English accent, instead! [In an English accent] Hello, gov'! Top of the mornin', toodle pip! Last night Mr. Governor, my toilet was broken in two.
Buford
[sighs] Actually, that was pretty good.
Ah, we are ready. [both he and Buford are dressed as Phineas]
WHAT? No! No no no, you can't BOTH be Phineas!
That is what I told him, but he would not listen!
Buford
[takes off Phineas mask] But Phineas gets all the lines!
Well guys, we did it. A 100% historically accurate old-timey pioneer town.
Yes. Complete with hitching posts -
Buford
And snake bites -
Buford
And various sores I'll be nursing for months.
Yep, it's took a whole lot of toil, pain, sweat and hard work to build this town. We should be proud.
Let's never do that again.
Agreed. Come on, let's go inside the house for a snack.
Buford
And indoor toilets.
Okay, I learn some skill that... Phineas, you're in the drivers seat, why are you operating with a remote control?
Candace, we're too young to drive.
Well, no matter cause we're driving this thing home. I'm calling Mom to make sure she sees this.
[The kids are controlling Perry, but they think it’s a game, and Buford starts to hit Perry with his own arm]
Buford
Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
Ferb controls his right foot.
And I move him back and forth.
Buford
It’s the same, lets hit that pharmacist!
Phineas and Ferb · 569 quotes
