Candace quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Isabella

[to Candace] I got to spend the whole day being showered with undivided attention from Phineas! It was wonderful.

Candace

Hiccups?

Candace

Oh, this is just out of control. [takes out her cellphone] Mom, Mom!

Hi, this is Mom. Leave your psychotic rant about the boys after the beep.

Candace

Uhhh! Mom, come home, quick! There's a giant mob, I'm a superfiend, I'm roasting them with laser vision, and... hey, what do you mean psychotic rant?!

Do you think he'll be...

Phineas

[juggling corn dogs with Ferb] Corn dog, corn dog, yummy yummy yummy!

Okay. Where did you get the-- Mom! Dad! Thank goodness! The strangest thing just happened.

Linda

[in Baljeet's voice] Fear not. Your parents are here now.

Huh?

Baljeet

The real shock is you're just noticing this now.

What?

I'm just as confused as you are, Kevin.

Jeremy

Candace, since I have no idea what will happen next, I need to tell you something. [holds onto Candance's hands] I love you, Candace Flynn. Will you marry me?

Oh, Jeremy! I always dreamt- Wait a minute. That's it! I'm dreaming!

Jeremy

That would explain the talking zebra.

Nah, I see him all the time. This, this is actually the freaky part. And it's all just been one...big...

Dream! [pause] So none of that really happened. I never actually busted Phineas and Ferb. I am so happy.

Phineas

Hey, Ferb! We should build a device that projects your dreams like a movie! I'd love to see what Perry dreams about.

Perry

[chatters]

Candace

Ooh, I almost forgot! Perry was in the dream too, dressed like a super-secret agent or something.

Ferb

Perhaps that's where he disappears to every day.

Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!

Candace

Hey, Wait, What are you doing? Hey!

Lawrence

Oh!

Linda

Oh!

Phineas

Wait a minute. What's going on? I haven't even finished my cereal!

Major Monogram

Agent P, your cover's been blown! You're going to have to relocate you!

Phineas

Ah, hey, Perry. What's wrong, boy? [pets him] You sounded like you were having a bad dream. It's okay now. Go back to sleep. [lies down and closes eyes, going back to sleep]

Phineas

Ferb speaks Martian!

Candace

Tell them I want to walk alone.

Ferb

Meht tuohtiw ton tub enif yas yeht.

Arrabata Dutch!

Ferb

They say fine, but not without them.

Candace

This may sound silly, but I thought you were avoiding me.

Actually, I've been trying to avoid you.

Candace

Do I know you?

No. That's how well it's been working! Unknown Guy is out. Peace!

Phineas

I think we're all set to get

Candace

Alright, what are you two up to?

Phineas

We just built a boat to find the Lake Nose Monster.

Candace

Quick kid, run as fast as your little legs can carry you. Follow the train tracks north, you should hit Acreton by sundown. London, it's a college town. There, get a retail job and save up enough for a bus ticket to the Canadian border. Someone will get in touch with you when the coast is clear.

Candace! Is this your lake nose monster?

Candace

Huh?

Baljeet

Surprise?

You're in big trouble, young man! [snaps fingers] OK! Just a little prankster, we're safe!

Hey Jeremy! So, what do you think?

Jeremy

You look great!

Oh! So, you're the famous Candace Flynn? Bob Weber.

Thanks for the lifeguard job, Mr. Weber.

MR. WEBER?! Pshaw! Mr. Weber is my father. Call me Captain Weber.

Oh...ok.

[snaps fingers] OK! You two take care of my beach now.

Ok...

[snaps fingers] OK! And watch out for Nosey. [laughs]

Candace & Jeremy

Uh...haha..haha...ok!

[snaps fingers] OK! [echoes]

Phineas

Oh, hey, Candace.

Candace

Did you get it? Did you get the proof that Nosey really exists?

Phineas

I can honestly tell you that the ferocious man-eating lake monster does not exists in Lake Nose.

Aww!

Aw, man!

Candace

Wait.

Phineas

Hey, Candace!

Candace

What is going on here?

Phineas

We made an animal translator. We'll tell you about it later. Right now, we're on a mission. Come on, guys.

Isabella

See ya, Candace!

Candace

An animal translator?! I have had it up to here with stupid animals today! Why would you wanna know what stupid animals are saying? Oh, I can tell you what they'll say: "I'm an animal and I bite my own heinie!" "I've got a small cranial capacity!" "Look at me! I don't have opposable thumbs! I eat with my face!" "I sweat through my tongue!" "I'm a furry-flea bitten loser!" LIKE ANY OTHER ANIMAL ON THIS PLANET! [echoes, cuts to a rabid dog barking]

Get her. [Candace runs off screaming in horror]

Candace

Can't you just make up some kind of reducing cream or an amazing shrink ray device?

Phineas

Well, we'll see what we can do, but we're not magicians.

Candace

I'm a freak. [starts to cry] I'll never be a Flawless Girl! [a single, giant tear drops from her face and falls to the ground as Ferb grabs an umbrella and puts it over him and Phineas to cover themselves] There's only one place where a girl like me will fit in: the oddball show! It was nice knowing you boys! Tell Mom and Dad I love them—from now on, I'll be living amongst the carnies! [tearfully runs off as Phineas and Ferb watch]

Phineas

What's that noise? Is that your stomach?

Phineas

Yeah, I'm hungry too. That trendy restaurant Mom and Dad took us to last night wasn't exactly satisfying.

Phineas

Dad, can I borrow your glasses? I can't see my entrée. You know, because it's so small?

Lawrence

[holding his glasses] Yes, I think we got that.

Candace

[Phone rings] S'up, Stace?

Stacy

Candace, are you sitting down? I don't want you to have an aneurysm.

Candace

Why would I have an aneurysm?

Stacy

Someone just IM'd me that someone else heard someone else overhear that Jeremy is gonna call you and ask you out for a special evening tonight! [Both squeal] Candace, do you need medical attention?

Candace

Oh, I need attention from the doctor of love!

Stacy

Paging Dr. Jeremy.

Candace

Doctor. I got a fever.

Stacy

[Deep voice] Well, let me take care of that, little lady.

Candace

Wow. A special evening. [Phone beeps] It's my call waiting.

Linda

Honey, just calling to remind you- [Phone beeps]

Candace

Uh, it wasn't him.

Stacy

Don't worry, he'll call.

Buford

You're not on the list. You should have made a reservation yesterday.

Candace

This restaurant didn't exist yesterday. I demand to be let in right now.

Buford

Good evening, sir.

Doofenshmirtz

Oh, I forgot to make a reservation. [Slips Buford some money]

Buford

No problem, dude.

Candace

Did that guy just bribe you?

Buford

He didn't bribe me. He just caught my attention in a monetary fashion. Now, back in line.

Candace

What? Have you lost your minds?! You've completed humiliated me in front of everyone!

Phineas

But, Candace, this is-

Candace

Phineas, all summer long, you built the most amazing things, and the one time I reaching you out as a sister, the one time I count on you, you give me this?

Phineas

But, Candace-

Candace

No! Just leave me alone! [runs off] Excuse me!

Phineas

Candace, WAIT!

Buford

Pocket lint!

Candace

Laminate!

Buford

Dolomite!

Candace

Porpoise!

Buford

Tralfazz!

Candace

Tralfazz? ["TRALFAZZ?!" appears on her podium]

Buford

That's right, Tralfazz! ["TRALFAZZ!" appears on his podium]

Candace

Fine, tralfazz!

Phineas

Ooh, bonus!