Candace quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Buford

Swagger. Tony.

Candace

[presses the button] Tony?

Buford

Why not?

Phineas

Why not?

Buford

Yeah, Tony backwards.

Phineas

Judges? 30 points! Physical Challenge!

Candace

What do you mean physical Challange- [gets a pie on her face, then gets a bag on her head] This doesn’t even make any sense!

Candace

[singing] I'm gonna move to the prairie, and change my name to Larry!

Phineas

Larry?!

Candace

I ran out of rhymes, all right?

Candace

[after mistaking a beaver for Perry] You have a pet beaver?

You have a pet platypus.

Candace

Touché.

Candace

You're giving a monkey a shower?

Ferb

Yep, had to be done.

Phineas

Okay, what the heck is that sound? Come on, Ferb, I know we're not gonna do today. We're not figured out what we were gonna do today as the noise keeps up.

Candace

If you don't stop that racket, I'm so gonna bust you, empty backyard?

Stacy

[closes window] Candace, stop trying to bust your backyard.

Candace

Do you know what this is?

Phineas

Uh, is it not a rabbit?

Candace

This is an actual living creature that uses carrots for food instead of science experiments.

Ferb

So why is he wearing a tutu?

Candace

He likes it! [to the rabbit] Don't worry, Mr. Cutie-Patootie, they're just jealous.

Phineas

[confused explaining Candace that the carrots in the backyard disappear) I turn around a half of minute and-Poof!- now they're gone!

Candace

Welcome to my world.

Phineas

[even more confused] Wow. That must be really annoying!

The poster's gone, right? Follow me.

OH, MY STARS! Phineas and Ferb made THAT?! It's horribly unsafe and dangerous! [on phone] Hello, police! Fire department! Army Air Force? ANYONE?! SAVE MY SONS!

Roger, got the kids, bringing them down now.

Phineas, Ferb! You two are in so much trouble!

Yes, yes!

[satisfied] My work here is done.

Candace, honey, get a hold of yourself. I'm no interest in busting the boys anymore.

What?! But you're me! You have to bust them, because I can't stop wanted to bust them!

You'll find out as you mature.

[to Xavier and Fred, who are in bumper cars] What are you doing?

Nothing...?

See Mom? They never do anything!

Give it a rest, Amanda.

Phineas

I guess we don't have to go to the future after all.

Ferb

Some other time, perhaps?

Candace

I'm watching you!

Candace

Detectives. Perfect. I know what you're gonna do today. Track down my little Mary McGuffin!

Phineas

Piece of cake. [Ferb gives him a piece of chocolate cake] Ooh, chocolate! Thanks, Ferb. [to Candace] We'll have your little Mary McGuffin back here faster than you can say-hey, where's Perry?

Look! She's perfect, And I just love her!

Candace

Oh, forget it! I guess I'm just too old for dolls anyway.

Vanessa

Yeah, maybe I don't really have to have the one object that my dad spent years finding in order to show me his affection...

Vanessa

No, actually, I do. [snatches the doll from Sally] Gimme that, kid! [walks away with the doll, causing Sally to cry]

Doofenshmirtz

So you just took it from the little girl, and left her there crying?! Wow, that is evil! Honey, I am so proud of you! It felt good, didn't it? Yeah, we can build on this.

Vanessa

[singing] Not so bad a dad after all!

Suzy

So, Candace, are you ready to have some fun?

Candace

Oh, no. I'm good. I hate fun.

Suzy

[threateningly] I've got a little game we can play!

Candace

[stuttering] G-g-g-game?

Suzy

It's called making...

Candace

[stuttering] M-m-making?

Suzy

Paper...

Candace

[stuttering] P-p-p-paper?

Suzy

[unhurls a set of paper dolls] Dolls!

Candace

PAPER DOLLS?!?! Wait, what?

Suzy

It's for you!

Candace

For me? Aren't you going to do something horrible to me?

Suzy

Oh, no. Making you look bad is just one of the ways I control Jeremy. If he's not here, I'm off the clock.

Candace

Wait, you can control your brother?

Suzy

Can't you get your brothers to do anything you want?

Candace

No way! I can't get them to do anything!

Suzy

Un-ac-ceptable. To the backyard!