Candace quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Isabella

[to Phineas] You know, there's an "m" in "Time Machine."

Phineas

Yeah, sorry. Take it away, Ferb.

Candace

[seeing cord] You mean to tell me you built a time machine that has to be plugged in?! [dinosaur roars] Oh put a sock in it!

Phineas

Candace, no sudden movements.

Candace

What does it matter? We're all doomed anyway. I mean, where are we supposed to find electricity in DINOSAUR LAND?! [gets zapped by lightning]

Phineas

We beat ya! You're big old purple pickled eggs!

Stacy

[annoyed] You were out of your tree!

Candace

[annoyed too] Yes! We were first!

Phineas

Nuh-uh! We were!

We were!

Phineas

We were!

Linda

Look like you're having fun

Phineas

Well Mom, you know what they say... [Candace and Stacy hit him with a water balloon]

Ferb

Fun never falls too far from the treehouse. [gets hit by a water balloon]

Candace

Maybe my brothers have been replaced with aliens?

Stacy

Yeah, now they're gonna fatten you up so they can eat ya.

Candace

MOM! Look! Look, look, in the backyard. Look! They've done it again.

Linda

Just let me drop off the groceries.

Isabella

This was the best ride ever, guys.

Oh, that was very fabulous ride. Now can you send us back to space station perhaps?

Erimnevop Yelsgnik Nad.

Candace

[With her eyes closed] Look, look, look! OK, tell me you don't see a giant, enormous Ferris wheel in the backyard!

Linda

All right, I don't see a giant, enormous Ferris wheel in the backyard.

Phineas

Hi, Mom.

Linda

Hi, kids.

Candace

"Why don't you come in for snacks?"

Linda

Why don't you come in for some snacks?

Candace

"Oh, there you are, Perry."

Phineas

Oh, there you are, Perry.

Candace

And Ferb says...

Ferb

You know, gladiators were Roman, not Greek.

Candace

[sighs] It's always the same thing every day.

Candace

The same insane routine. My life is like a bad sitcom.

Candace

Well, you know, they must be done by now anyway.

Lulu

Done with what?

Candace

I don't know. It's different every day. Come on, I'll show you.

So where is this thing I'm supposed to film? [Candace pointing and Fifi faints]

Candace

So, what do you think?

Lulu

I think we finally have our very special episode!

Candace

"Hi, Mom."

Phineas

Hi, Mom!

Candace

"Oh, there you are, Perry."

Phineas

Oh, there you, Perry.

Candace

And Ferb says...

Ferb

And that's why I never wear suspenders in public.

Candace

"Now for some snacks."

Linda

Why do you kids come inside for some pie?

Candace

Yeah, I'll take some pie. Now you can understand my pain. Want some pie?

Candace

Mom, come on, come on! The boys built a giant roller rink in the back yard! [the rink is turned into a giant loaf of bread] Uhh, giant loaf of bread?

Phineas

[shrugs] I dunno.

Candace

Mom! Mom! The boys built a giant loaf of bread in the backyard!

Linda

What? I thought you said it was a roller rink.

Candace

It was, but now it's a loaf of bread! Come on, come on! See? :[A flock of magpies eat the loaf]

Linda

Candace, what are you talking about?

Candace

B-b-but....

Linda

Boys, I think she's finally lost it.

Candace, not this again.

Candace

But I have proof!

Phineas

We're gonna pencil her in for 7:30--

[from the hallway] Nine!

Phineas

Make that 9:00.

Just wait 'til Mom hears about-- Then again, you guys always seem to make everything disappear before Mom gets home. But if I take the evidence to her at the Bowl-R-Ama, then she'll have to believe me!

Oh, Candace! You were right about Phineas and Ferb this whole time. We should've believed you.

And just to express how sorry we are, here's my credit card. You have our permission to ruin us financially.

Jeremy

Candace, that is so cool how you busted your brothers like that! Will you marry me?

Phineas

So you wanna give it a try?

I do, Jeremy! I mean, uh... I'd love to give it a try.

Candace

[talking on the cell phone to Stacy] Focus.

Phineas

[Stacy hits the golf ball beautifully] What great focus! [a sound comes from the cell phone]

Stacy

What's that?

Phineas

Sounds like the crowds going wild.

Candace

[shows Candace lying sick in bed] AAH! [makes a small airy scream that sounds like the crowd going wild]

Candace

You guys are so bus – Aah! [trips on a controller, disappears through one teleport, and appears from the other]

Phineas

Cool. It worked. Candace? Are you OK?

[pointing at her brothers] Wait a second. How you guys get so big? [gasps] And why is my hand green? [takes a pink mirror from a nearby box] AAH! I'M AN UGLY, SMELLY PLATYPUS! I'm a platypus! I'm a platypus! I'm a platypus! I'm a platypus!

Linda

[To Jeremy] Why don't you watch some TV while you wait? Oh, hey. I've got some great baby movies of Candace. [baby cooing] Oh! There she is in the bathtub. [bubbles gurgle] Oops! Little bubbles.

Mom! Remember what we talked about? My fifth-grade graduation?

Linda

Fifth-grade graduation? What is she talking about?

Ugh! Just turn off the home movies!

Candace

[With her eyes closed] See?! see?! It's right there!

Linda

Oh, my goodness! [At this point, Candace gets a shocked expression on her face] Did you make these?

Phineas

Uh... yeah.

Linda

[gasps] These are so much nicer than the ones I lost! [a fly buzzes and gets zapped by Linda's new "earrings"]

Phineas

Awesome.

Linda

Thanks, boys. [at Candace, whose jaw has dropped, closing her mouth] Close your mouth, honey. You'll catch flies.

Candace

PHINEAS! The only way you're building a haunted house in this backyard is over my DEAD BODY!

Phineas

[in a mad scientist voice] That's the idea! Bwah!

Candace

That's it, you little psycho. I'm calling Mom! [walks inside, but then pokes her head out the door] And I am NOT using the banana this time!

Phineas

...You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me?