Phineas quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Isabella

Whatcha doin'?

Phineas

We're fixing this time machine.

Isabella

Isn't that kind of impossible?

Phineas

That's a possibility.

Isabella

[to Phineas] You know, there's an "m" in "Time Machine."

Phineas

Yeah, sorry. Take it away, Ferb.

Candace

[seeing cord] You mean to tell me you built a time machine that has to be plugged in?! [dinosaur roars] Oh put a sock in it!

Phineas

Candace, no sudden movements.

Candace

What does it matter? We're all doomed anyway. I mean, where are we supposed to find electricity in DINOSAUR LAND?! [gets zapped by lightning]

Phineas

Pardon me, would your name be Swampy, ex-drummer for the band Love Händel?

That, my friend, was a past life. The name's Sherman. Why ya askin'?

Phineas

Because they're reforming for one night only! It's a celebration of our parents' anniversary.

Well, that sounds charming, boys, but I haven't played drums since the accident. Fell asleep in a metronome factory; when I woke I completely lost my sense of rhythm. I've been hanging out here ever since. [backing a beat with a library stamp and books]

Phineas

We beat ya! You're big old purple pickled eggs!

Stacy

[annoyed] You were out of your tree!

Candace

[annoyed too] Yes! We were first!

Phineas

Nuh-uh! We were!

We were!

Phineas

We were!

Linda

Look like you're having fun

Phineas

Well Mom, you know what they say... [Candace and Stacy hit him with a water balloon]

Ferb

Fun never falls too far from the treehouse. [gets hit by a water balloon]

Time for our nature walk to Badbeard Lake.

Phineas

Why do they call it "Badbeard Lake"?

Well, It's a body of fresh water surrounded by land.

Phineas

No, the "Badbeard" part.

Phineas

[after explaining the race course] Any questions?

Baljeet

Yes. Should we not establish the rules first?

Buford

This is a chariot race. There are no rules!

Isabella

No rules? Well, if those are the rules.

Phineas

It's half man, half bull. It's the Minotaur!

Norm

My name is Norm.

Phineas

It's Norm the Minotaur!

Candace

MOM! Look! Look, look, in the backyard. Look! They've done it again.

Linda

Just let me drop off the groceries.

Isabella

This was the best ride ever, guys.

Oh, that was very fabulous ride. Now can you send us back to space station perhaps?

Erimnevop Yelsgnik Nad.

Candace

[With her eyes closed] Look, look, look! OK, tell me you don't see a giant, enormous Ferris wheel in the backyard!

Linda

All right, I don't see a giant, enormous Ferris wheel in the backyard.

Phineas

Hi, Mom.

Linda

Hi, kids.

Candace

"Why don't you come in for snacks?"

Linda

Why don't you come in for some snacks?

Candace

"Oh, there you are, Perry."

Phineas

Oh, there you are, Perry.

Candace

And Ferb says...

Ferb

You know, gladiators were Roman, not Greek.

Candace

[sighs] It's always the same thing every day.

Candace

The same insane routine. My life is like a bad sitcom.

Candace

"Hi, Mom."

Phineas

Hi, Mom!

Candace

"Oh, there you are, Perry."

Phineas

Oh, there you, Perry.

Candace

And Ferb says...

Ferb

And that's why I never wear suspenders in public.

Candace

"Now for some snacks."

Linda

Why do you kids come inside for some pie?

Candace

Yeah, I'll take some pie. Now you can understand my pain. Want some pie?

Candace

Mom, come on, come on! The boys built a giant roller rink in the back yard! [the rink is turned into a giant loaf of bread] Uhh, giant loaf of bread?

Phineas

[shrugs] I dunno.

Candace

Mom! Mom! The boys built a giant loaf of bread in the backyard!

Linda

What? I thought you said it was a roller rink.

Candace

It was, but now it's a loaf of bread! Come on, come on! See? :[A flock of magpies eat the loaf]

Linda

Candace, what are you talking about?

Candace

B-b-but....

Linda

Boys, I think she's finally lost it.

Phineas

They say if you love something, let it go.

Ferb

Especially if it is a caveman.

Phineas

Yeah, especially if it's a caveman.

Candace, not this again.

Candace

But I have proof!

Phineas

We're gonna pencil her in for 7:30--

[from the hallway] Nine!

Phineas

Make that 9:00.

Just wait 'til Mom hears about-- Then again, you guys always seem to make everything disappear before Mom gets home. But if I take the evidence to her at the Bowl-R-Ama, then she'll have to believe me!

Oh, Candace! You were right about Phineas and Ferb this whole time. We should've believed you.

And just to express how sorry we are, here's my credit card. You have our permission to ruin us financially.

Jeremy

Candace, that is so cool how you busted your brothers like that! Will you marry me?

Phineas

So you wanna give it a try?

I do, Jeremy! I mean, uh... I'd love to give it a try.

Phineas

Ferb and I are gonna put on a laser light show. And as a grand finale, we're gonna laser our faces into the comet! That way, when it comes back in 73½ years, we can all show our grandchildren! Oh yeah, my parents are cooking steaks for everyone.

Isabella

You had me at "our grandchildren".

Phineas

What?

Isabella

Steaks! You, you had me at "steaks". [smiles cheesily at Phineas]

Candace

[talking on the cell phone to Stacy] Focus.

Phineas

[Stacy hits the golf ball beautifully] What great focus! [a sound comes from the cell phone]

Stacy

What's that?

Phineas

Sounds like the crowds going wild.

Candace

[shows Candace lying sick in bed] AAH! [makes a small airy scream that sounds like the crowd going wild]