Phineas quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Candace

[wearing a tropical banana hat] Wow! Is this banana hat for some cool tropical dance number?

Phineas

We're trying to come up with some exciting camera angles for the big chase scene, so we strapped a camera onto this starving monkey.

Phineas

[chuckles] Sorry that monkey cam didn't work out. We're gonna try it with Ferb this time. [Ferb has a camera strapped to his head. Phineas hands Candace a sub sandwich] Now take this sandwich and remember, Ferb hasn't eaten lunch yet.

Phineas

Enjoy it while it lasts, Candace. Fame is fleeting.

Ferb

But the Internet is forever.

Phineas

[to Evander Holyfield ] Aren't you a little old to be a professional boxer?

Yes, yes I am.

Phineas

Cool.

Phineas

I don't think this is going so well.

Nonsense, kid! Go for the gold! Fight fire with fire! Ah, shoot. Shoot him the stink eye! Uh, grease the pig! Ah, I got nothing.

Buford

Same thing tomorrow?

Phineas

Nah, I like to keep moving forward.

Ferb

Sharks have to continue to move forward, or they'll drown.

Buford

You callin' me a shark?

Phineas

Ferb!

Ferb

Well, he was all up in my face.

[to Phineas and Ferb] Ah... Excuse me, aren't you boys a little young to be restoring a national monument?

Phineas

Yes, yes we are.

Well, it's good to see young people taking an interest in our national heritage!

Isabella

Hey Phineas.

Phineas

Hey Isabella.

Isabella

Watcha doin'?

Phineas

We're making S'Winter.

Isabella

S'Winter?

Ferb

It's a unique and logic defying amalgam of Winter and Summer.

Phineas

Why have snow when it's too cold to enjoy it?

Isabella

You guys are gonna need some help.

Isabella

[Signal Whistle]

Buford

Hey twerp, I brought the props for my act.

Phineas

Buford, what exactly is your act?

Buford

I fly into mud, with a paper bag on my head.

Phineas

[pauses] Okay then.

Buford

The peeps are gonna love me.

Phineas

[washing up on the sidewalk outside with Ferb and Candace] Hey Candace, you missed all the fun! Allow me to introduce our mummy.[turning to see only banages] Hey, where's our mummy? Mummy? MUMMY?!?

Well, Mummy has supper waiting for us at home. [seeing her look dishevled] Candace, why are you all wet?

Candace

[growling and grinding her teeth] Grrr!

Ferb

You know, mummies had their brains pulled out through their nose.

Candace

[still fuming] The lucky ones!

Phineas

Ferb, you're usually so focused; how did you get those plans confused?

Vanessa

Hey, how's it going?

Phineas

Hey Ferb, snap out of it. What happened back there?

Ferb

I...was weak.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

... then no one can stop the wraith of Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz!

Vanessa

Doctor? Since when are you a doctor?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[shows Vanessa a doctorate certificate with a price tag on it] They don't just give these to anybody you know.

Vanessa

Anybody with $15, they do...

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[swipes it away from her] Ok that's enough looking!

Phineas

Wait a minute, this is a toy factory. How did this chocolate river get here? Who the heck are you guys?

We are the Ba-dink-a-dinks!

You set us free when you remodeled the factory. We'd been trapped in the basement for years, making foam peanuts and snipping the tabs off of plastic.

We will now lay waste to the surface dwellers!

Phineas

...Okay, then. Carry on.

[opening the window after hearing an engine and a loud horn] Oh, hey boys.

Phineas

Dad, you might want to wipe the queen off your face.

Oh, yeah. Thanks... Crickey! A monster truck!

Phineas

Yeah! Isn't it sweet? It's to help Candace how to parallel park and stuff. We figured if she learned how to drive one of these monsters, she'd have the confidence to drive anything.

Lawrence

Oh yeah, brilliant, but I'd better check with Mom about this... [calls Linda on his cellphone] Hello honey. Yes, yes. I love you too, darling. Are you aware that the boys have a monster truck in the backyard?

Linda

[at a cooking class] Honestly, you're as bad as Candace.

Lawrence

Okay, okay, just checking. [hangs up the phone] It's a go boys! I'll get your sister!

Phineas

Yeah, we're inside Candace's stomach.

Ferb

That's creepy on so many levels.

Phineas

She's on a date with Jeremy. That means we're on a date with Jeremy.

Ferb

Again: creepy on so many levels.

Candace

[almost crying] Oohhh! I can't believe I am just stuck here. I can't believe I'll never get to get my driver's license or wear my dream dress to the prom. [sitting down and drawing in the mud] But most of all, I can't believe I'll never see Jeremy again. How long are we supposed to just sit here?

Phineas

I don't know. Ferb and I have decided to use this time as an opportunity to practice patience.

Candace

[despairingly] Lovely. Well I suppose things can't get any worse. [it starts to rain] Oh look, the world's first bad hair day... [seeing the T-Rex right over them] So Phineas, where's this rescue party you sent for?

Phineas

Hmm. It occurs to me I may have misspelled "time machine" in the plans.

Ferb

Well, I hope that's not going to be an issue.