Phil quotes from Phil of the Future

Guess what! I got us tickets to a sneak preview of "Samurai Love You."

Phil

Ooh, Samurai-don't-think-so; it sounds like a chick-flick. I'm out.

Come on, I went to that science fiction movie and sat through two and a half hours of you going "Wrong, wrong, wrong!"

Phil

But it was all wrong!

S2 Dinner Time

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Phil (to Keely): I don't wanna be your girlfriend. I wanna be your boyfriend.....I mean, your friend . . . who's a boy. A guy. A guy friend.

Why didn't you tell me?

Phil

I didn't know how.

Phil, you can tell me anything....I'm your girlfriend. I, I, I mean . . . your friend who's a girl. A gal. A gal friend.

S2 Tia, Via, or Me...Uh

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Keely (kisses Phil on cheek): That's for introducing me to Via.

Phil

I get a kiss every time I introduce you to a girl? (grabs a random girl in hall) What's your name? Have you met Keely?

Hi, Jenna.

OOwen

Hey there, Jenna. Where ya goin'? Owen's this way!

S2 Tia, Via, or Me...Uh

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Keely (to Joel): Your dad doesn't come home until...MESSERSCHMITT!

MESSERSCHMITT!

CCandida

MESSERSCHMITT!

Phil

Messer-ba-ba...what she said!

S2 Maybe-sitting

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(Phil and Keely enter an empty room)

Is everyone here?

Phil

Yes (flips on the lights)

(Keely looks around at the empty room)

Phil

We are now The Resistance. We keep everything secret and we figure out a way to break Pim down. Now the first thing we need is....

Code names! Yeah....

Phil

I was going to say we need a plan, but yeah, we can do code names. All right, we'll call you White Panther.

That is so me! Oh! And you can be Mr. Fuzzy Bear.

Phil

I give you a name like White Panther and I get Fuzzy Bear? I don't think so, call me....call me....Midnight Cobra.

Okay, okay. Midnight Whatever. Ha. (whispers) Fuzzy Bear.

S2 Pim-cipal

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Keely (to Phil): It was fun being in the resistance. What else can we resist?

Phil

Uhh, how about "Fish Stick Friday" in the cafeteria?

Perfect! But we're going to need entirely new code names.

Phil

All right, but this time, I get to pick. All right, you can be Kitten Velor and I'll be Dash Unicorn.

(laughs) Okay.

Phil

Wait, wait, no....

Nope. Too late.

Phil

Dash Manly?

S2 Pim-cipal

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Phil

(Yawning Loudly) (Sniffs a shirt) Whoa! Hohh! That's not clean.

Good morning, Sweetheart. Breakfast is ready.

Phil

Mom, I'm not dressed!

(Laughing) Oh, Phil, I was there the day you popped out of your natal pod. You don't have anything i haven't seen already.

Phil

Yeah, except for the sign on the door that says "Please Knock."

Hey, Phil! That "Please Knock" sign is lookin' a little shabby. I'll touch it up for you as soon as i store these photon conduits.

Phil

Dad, Look. I know that space in the garage is a little tight right now, But why does my room have to become your storage closet?

Because the sign on Pim's door says "Keep Out Or Else," and i don't want to find out what "Or Else" means.

Phil

Well, I don't have room for all this junk.

CComputer

This unit is not junk.

Be careful what you say around the time engine C.P.U. It's a little emotionally unstable right now.

CComputer

This unit reads lips, you know. and this unit's going through a lot right now.

Phil

Well, if it's ok with everyone else in this family. I kinda find getting dressed a little bit of a private affair.

No Problem. I got some more stuff to bring up, anyway.

Phil

(Puts shirt over the unit)(Sighs) Nothing personal.

CComputer

Nothing this unit hasn't seen already.

Phil

(Gasps) Pim! Do You Think This Is Funny?

Not yet...But it'll be hilarious on the front page of my blog.

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Hey, Everybody, I'm thinkin' tonight's the night for game night.

Dad, You're still shy 20 large from last month's game of snakes and ladders, blood-sport edition.

Well, I have finally found a present-day game that i can win. It's called (Mispronouncing) Charad-Zah.

Ooh, charad-zah! Sounds fancy. We're gonna need some cheese.

Phil

It's not called charad-zah. It's called charades. All right? And if you don't mind, I'm gonna take a rain check.

Rain check. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I haven't even lost yet.

Phil, It's game night. Don't you want to spend time with your family?

Phil

I think i spend enough time with you all in my room. You just walk in whenever you want. You store all your time machine junk in there, and you(Pim)...Live here. It--(Sighs) Don't get me wrong. All right? I love almost all of you, but i think what i really need is some privacy in my own room.

Sounds like your own room is about to blow a gasket.

Maybe i shouldn't have stored the hysterical fuel cells next to the self-propelled spark rods.

Yeah, that was probably a mistake.

Phil

My room!

You're not getting any privacy with that giant gaping hole in your floor. Tough break, Kid.

Phil

This is way too big to fix for the wizard. Maybe dad will lend me some of his future tools.

Are you kidding? My tools are calibrated for high-tech plastics and composites, not for wood and nails. They're extremely, extremely sensitive.

Oh. Little help, please?

Phil

Well, where am i gonna sleep?

You'll just have to bunk with Pim until we can get this fixed.

TTogether

(Laughing)

Phil

That was a good one, Mom.

Yeah, way to cut the tension.

Phil

Oh...Oh, i'd rather live in the garage.

Well, i'm open to any better ideas.

Phil

I'd rather live in the garage.

Hey, I think that's a great--ly...Bad idea. Greatly bad.

I--I hate to say it, but i agree with your father. you are too young to be living in the garage.

I say it's high time to push him out of the nest and say, "Fly, Baby Bird! Spread those wings and make us proud."

I agree with your mother.

I haven't said anything yet.

Oh, it's just kind of a technicality, isn't it?

Mom, you just said phil is so young, he should live in the garage.

No...I Didn't.

Phil

Uh, that's what i heard.

I'm just sayin' i agree.

Phil

What's it gonna be, Mom?

Just...Until--

Phil

Yes! Thank You! Thank You!

The house...Is mine! All mine!

Pim! I've told you a hundred times if you're gonna disappear under cover of a smoke bomb, take it outside!

(Distantly) Sorry, Mom.

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Phil

I really appreciate you makin' room for me, Curtis.

Uh...Uhh...Tsee-tonga.

Phil

What's the matter?

Newcomer not allowed live inside without first ceremony of king. Ah. (Chuckles)

Phil

Is this gonna take long?

Curtis must thank sun, earth wind. 3 days.

Phil

Can we speed it up a little?

Hmm...Ahh, we no thank wind. 2 minutes, Tops. Ceremony begin! Tseeaahhh...Tseee...Tonga!

Phil

Thank the wind! Thank the wind!

Um...Sun tonga! Tonga!

Wind very persnickety today.

Phil

Yeah.

Okay. Ha ha!

Phil

Where do i put my bags?

No, no! Not there! No! Not there. Just give Curtis.

Switch that make magic light here. Box that make magic picture...Here.

Phil

What's This?

Honor bar.

Phil

This is awesome!

Curtis run a few errands. Phil need anything?

Phil

No, no, i'm good.

Okay. Okay. Tsee tonga. Hey, Girlie.

Hey, Phil. I came...By to...See the new...

Phil

What do you think?

It's a garage.

Phil

I know! Isn't this the coolest place to live ever?

Yeah, if you're a car. (Chuckles)

Phil

I admit it's no swanky penthouse in the pickford swank district. You know, this is my chance to get free from under my parents!

You're right. I'm--I'm sorry. I think you can really do a lot with this place. and the first thing we're gonna do is throw you a garage-warming party.

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Phil

Bruno. Hey. Phil Diffy. How's the H.G. Wells star quarterback? Hey, congrats on winning the fingerbowl last week. Yeah. Listen, Keely and i are throwing a housewarming party at my place tonight. Uh, and, well, you're on the short list. Yeah. I--I got my own crib out back.

Phil

Hello! Bruno?! Bruno! Hey...I Gotta go. Curtis, i was on the phone.

Feet also on table. Where'd you learn manners? Barnyard?

Phil

I'm not the caveman here.

Could fool Curtis. Phil clothes. Oh, Phil, Phil. Now...Curtis clothes. Phil books...Curtis books. Curtis arrange by author...Then subject.

Phil

Are you finished?

Now we talk about throwing party without Curtis approval?

Phil

Okay. I just moved away from my mother. I don't need another one.

Then stop acting like child.

Phil

I am not a child. I'm a responsible adult...Like person, and i don't need your permission to throw a party.

In Curtis cave, you play by Curtis rules.

Phil

Okay, technically this isn't a cave. And even more technically, this cave is my garage!

Oh! Phil claim Curtis cave?!

Phil

Oh, you don't scare me.

Arrhh!

Phil

Okay. Okay. You scare me a little.

Phil! Great news.

Phil

What?

First of all, in the 21st century, there are these places called hardware stores. I work at one! Ha ha!

Your father found some present-day tools he can use to fix your floor. You'll be able to move back in no time.

Yeah.

What?!

I couldn't help but overhear.

Phil

Look, i don't want to move back in. I like it out here.

And i like him out here.

Phil, you are too young to be living in the garage.

Phil

When are you going to get it? I'm not a little kid anymore.

Barb, it's not gonna hurt to let Phil give it a shot.

Wait. Curtis no want to live in garage with Phil.

Phil

Then you can live in my room.

(Laughing) Yes!

Mmm...Curtis on board.

Well, ho-hold on. Hold on. Phil's bedroom floor isn't fixed yet. It's gonna take quite a while.

You got a lumber, floor joists, perhaps a plumb line?

Yeah.

Curtis solve problem right now.

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Nice job.

Yeah.

I'm not crazy about the rug. (Gasps)

Uh, Curtis still have to sand it.

Phil

Great. Uh, Curtis can have my room, and i'll take the garage.

If you want to break a mother's heart!

Phil

Don't worry. I'm still your little boy...Barb.

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Ohhh...My baby's come home.

Phil

Got to stop doing that every time i walk in the door, Barb. Mrs. Diffy? Mom?

Ah. A little snack for game night?

Phil

Actually, Dad...Mr. Diffy, Lloyd?

What? It's fun.

Phil

I...Am throwin' a little party at my place tonight.

Well, since you want to be, uh, treated as an adult...

Phil

"Bill For Food"? (Chuckles) Get this stuff cheaper at the store.

You're paying for convenience. That's why i located here. And while we're on the subject...

Phil

Gas...Electric...Water, internet?

Welcome to grown-up world. You get the gains, you get the pains.

Phil

(Chuckles) Very funny, Lloyd.

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I have to admit...This place looks amazing. You'd never even know it's a garage.

Phil

Hupp, got it!

Phil

Hey...Bruno! And you brought your crew. Come on in, Bruno's crew.

BBruno

Cool. You got your own place.

Phil

Yeah. Yeah. Would've been long ago, but, you know, parents couldn't bear to lose me. You can see their house from here.

BBruno

Brought you a little housewarming. Some of Bruno's famous slaw.

Phil

It's...It's empty.

BBruno

We got caught in traffic.

Congratulations on winning the teriyaki poll.

BBruno

You know, Keely, uh...All we can really do is try. But when you try with a little umph, you get umph out of your try...Which makes triumph. (Chuckles)

BBruno

That's right. Chew on that while i chew on this.

Phil

All right, Everbody, just relax. I'll handle this...And, Bruno, that--that's me, not Keely.

BBruno

Sorry.

Phil

That's still me. Lloyd, you turned off the electricity in the garage.

Sorry, Phil, but you didn't pay your bill.

Phil

But we just got this party started. Can't you wait to turn off the electricity till later, like, when i go to sleep?

Sure...In kid world, but this is adult world, where electricity goes off when you don't pay your bills.

Phil, everybody's gonna head home! I mean...What can a bunch of teenagers do in a garage in the dark with no parental supervision?

Phil

You're right. All right. Well, thanks for comin'.

BBruno

F.Y.I...The slaw container's not dishwasher-safe, so if you could just give it a quick little rinse-ski...that'd be good.

I'm gonna head home, too. Happy garage.

Phil. Why don't you come in the house for dinner and game night? You can be on my team for (Mispronouncing) Charades!

Phil

That is my home, and that's where i'm staying. I don't need electricity, and i don't need you!

Phil

Can you at least keep the electricity on until i get to the couch? Thank you.

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Phil

Ohh! Ohh! How'd you sneak in here? Tunnel number 3?

You know about 3-zie?

Phil

I've always known. I've just never told mom and dad.

Too bad jurassic the clown doesn't share your code of honor. One day, and he's already gotten me grounded for a month.

Phil

Well, let's just hope he doesn't figure out your plan to breed and market attack squirrels.

You know about that, too? See? You're a much more worthy opponet. Too bad you're out of here, right?

Phil

(Sighs) I'll break my rule and be honest with you. I don't really love being on my own, but if i tell mom and dad, then i'm right back where i started.

I'm seeing a mutually beneficial arrangement. I get rid of Curtis and you get your room back without groveling.

Phil

Look, I am willing to try anything if it gets me back into the house and lets me keep my new-found maturity.

So why'd you sneak in here anyway? Forget your blankie?

Phil

No. Just a small swatch of fabric that means absolutely nothing to me.