Donna quotes from Parks and Recreation

I'm sorry if I can be a little annoying at times. But one person's annoying is another person's inspiring and heroic. So you know who are we to judge?

Donna

And I'm sorry for writing those things. Some of those things.

I can't promise that I won't be...inspiring and heroic in the future.

Donna

And I can't promise that I won't complain about it.

Deal.

[They shake hands]

I got you an apology present.

Donna

Oh?

It's all of your favorite lipsticks and nail polishes and I got the same ones too. I printed out a schedule so we can wear them at the same time. Now I would like you to open each one in front of me and tell me how you feel about them individually.

Donna

Let me take a picture.

Are you tweeting this?

Donna

Mmmhmm.

What's the hashtag gonna be? "BossBitch" or "BitchBoss?"

Donna

Yeah it's "PsychoBoss."

Well, I don't hate that.

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Good news. We have multiple bidders. That guy's getting his financials together. Plans on tearing the whole place down, just wants it for the land.

Why would he tear down a perfectly good cabin?

Donna

I think he's a developer who wants to put in a luxury glamp ground. Glamping is Glamour Camping. Heated tents, catered meals, Wi-Fi...

You're describing a hotel.

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Okay just a reminder guys, today is Leslie's last day as a city counselor so everyone be extra supportive.

Already done. When she walked past me this morning I gave her a kind nod.

...Heartwarming! Also, I wanna get her a present to cheer her up on her last day. Any ideas?

Donna

A "sorry you lost your dream job" gift? That's a tough one. Stay away from wine! Wine is crying juice.

LLarry

Well I mean you know her better than anybody. What does she really want more than anything in the world?

...A nice candle! I'm screwed.

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Tom, you're in charge of music.

Aww man. Well alright.

Aww did you wanna DJ little puppy? I didn't know that little puppies could operate an ipod with their little puppy paws.

Donna

Ewww. And Booo. This kind of thing is getting out of hand with you two. Ya'll are an official warning.

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Donna

I didn't go to my Prom. I was dating an older man at the time. Like I'm gonna dance with a bunch of kids while he's coaching Duke to the final four.

I just wanna go home but I feel bad because Andy's having such a good time.

[view of Andy having a dance off and having a great time]

How can I love someone when I hate everything he loves?

Donna

That's not true. He loves a lot of dumb stuff but he loves you the most. If something's bothering you, just tell him. It's always better to be direct.

[guy walks up to Donna]

GGuy

Hey girl. Are you ready to go?

Donna

I feel like I told you to wait in the car.

GGuy

...Yeah. [walks off]

Donna

See? Be direct.

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[April, Tom and Donna are testing Craig]

Good evening. May I assist you with a wine tonight?

Yeah I'm having fish so maybe a full-bodied red.

You know sir you might want to consider something white to go with your fish.

Donna

No, red! And bring some ice cubes. I like ice cubes in my red wine.

I'll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around please.

...I'll be right back with my recommendations. [walks out]

Seems to be keeping it together

[from the other room] WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ORDERS RED WITH FISH!? I KNOW THEY'RE MESSING WITH ME AND IT'S JUST A TEST BUT HAVE SOME DECENCY!

[Craig comes back with the wine]

For you sir, a light crisp Pinot with just a hint of lemon to bring out the flavors of your fish. [to Donna] I brought you a bold Cabernet which should still taste okay when watered down. [to April] And for you madam would you consider this Rose, it's halfway between red and white.

Thanks very much!

Enjoy. [walks out]

I think I might have found my new sommelier.

[from the other room] THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING!

I'll have to make sure the wine cellar at Tom's bistro is sound proof.

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Donna

You wanted to see me?

Yes. I need to ask you for a...favor.

Donna

WHAT!? Ron Swanson asking for help!?

KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN WOMAN!

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[drunk] Hey everybody! I'm Ben Wyatt! Listen, we of course are here to celebrate Donna and Joe and I have to say you know getting married is the bravest most wonderful thing you can do. Because everyday you come home and your just like "What!? It's you! I love you! You're my sexy roommate! We love each other!"

Wooo! He's talkin about me!

Yes I am baby doll! Look. Donna and Joe are great! You all, are great! And this wedding, is gonna be amazing! Let's get some music and dancing going. And I am Ben Wyatt and I very much APPROVE THIS MESSAGE!

[music starts playing and Leslie and Ben start drunk dancing]

You want me to shut that down?

Donna

No I liked it. Let the little man dance.

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Oh my God! Oh! Look how beautiful you look!

Donna

Leslie, I'm not even in my dress yet.

[crying] But you're gonna be very soon!

Donna

Alright I wanna say something to my girls. Knope, your a softie but on the inside you are straight up boss. April, you're the exact opposite. Ya'll inspire me and I love you. And you too Michelle.

[Michelle walks up]

Donna

Michelle. You were my best friend from childhood. Until we lost touch because you thought your college boyfriend was into me. He was. I never gave him the time of day. But now, we're rebuilding our friendship. Is this wedding gonna be a test for you? Yes. But the doctors once told ya you were never gonna walk again so this should be easy right?

Wow what a complicated tapestry that is!