Christian Troy quotes from Nip/Tuck

Christian

Beauty is symmetry, and you don't have any. First, I'll need to get rid of all this nasty cottage cheese. And here, with some laser hair removal to keep this forest under control. These mud flaps will need to be lopped off. Have you ever picked up anything heavier than a carton of Haagan-Daaz?

Christian Troy

What about the elves? I always thought it was indentured servitude. Are you going to do something about that?

Christian

Sweetheart, everything I need to know about you is bouncing around in front of my face.

Christian

There is no pro bono for boning a pro.

Christian

What we had was spiritual, Kimber. I made you see God everytime you came.

Christian

So you'll give your night nurse a nose job but you won't give your partner some lunchtime lipo?

Christian

[referring to Conor's birth] So he was born. He won't even remember it. [Edit] Call me when your kid needs stitches or learn how to tie a Windsor knot.

Christian

[attempting to pick up a girl at a lesbian bar] I can munch, dive and fish better than any girl in this place. Plus I have in my possession a very life-like dildo just in case you decide to get kinky.

Christian

[After Michelle slaps him in the face for making a pass at her] Just so you know, sweetie-pie, I'm not in to S&M.

Christian

You and I both know you spent hours deliberating which dress in your closet best displays that world-class cleavage of yours. Since you love being a businesswoman so much, Michelle, let me give you the bottom line. You either get real with me and give in to what we're both feeling, or sell me my business back. Although my nurses might enjoy it, I don't like doing surgery with a hard-on.

Christian

I can't keep giving you just a part of me, and not all of me.

Christian

I'm way past shooting for sainthood, sweetheart. God gave me a dick and I intend to glorify him by playing that organ as intensely and as often as possible.

Christian

I want her dazzling enough that it would give my dick amnesia.

Christian

Sweetheart, you're two hours late. If you were a pizza, I'd get you for free.

Christian

[to Merrill, referring to his prison husband] Must have been one hell of a guy. It usually takes at least six karats for a bitch to give it up like that.