Christian Troy quotes from Nip/Tuck

Christian

[referring to Matt's marriage to Kimber] That's like saying we should be happy if you're a drug addict and just scored a bag of heroin.

Christian

I'd prefer a blond that can suck the yellow off a canary than brunettes with tight asses.

Christian

They don't speak a word of English and only love me for my money. But they don't quit until the super Viagra wears off, so who gives a shit.

Christian

You're right. I suck. I suck as a friend. I suck as a lover. I suck as a fiancée. I'm tired of defending myself.

Christian

Just because I groom, doesn't mean I've gone brokeback.

Christian

[to the ghosts of his former lovers] Goodbye ladies, it's been swell.

Christian

Take the coffeemaker, Sean. When you become a big, successful Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, this will remind you of where you come from.

Christian

You know what my first impression of Hollywood is, Sean? It's a shithole. Where's the excitement I grew up reading about? Where's the glamour, huh? This town needs me. Which is why I'm moving here.

Christian

[in Sean's California operating room] Nurse, it's quieter than an ant's fart in here. Go play some music.

Christian

Pineapple juice, baby! Makes a man's shooty-shoot taste infinitely sweeter. It's nature's guarantee of a second date.

Christian

I'm a jackrabbit. I don't do slow and steady. I've paid my dues and I want some overnight success.

Christian

Sorry, am I interrupting "Extreme Makeover: Whore Edition"?

Christian

I love all this Californian New Age crap. It is hilarious to make you think that you can stick a needle in your head, and that your whole body is going to go numb; you know it's just a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Tell me what you don't like about yourself.

Sean

Check out this bombshell. We're getting ready this morning, and Julia tells me she wants her breasts done.

Christian

If you're thinking conflict of interest, I'd like to volunteer my services.

Sean

Still have a crush on the missus, do we?

Christian

Let the records show that I dated her first and passed off my sloppy seconds to you.