I'm a widely successful plastic surgeon with great hair, pro-white teeth and a 33-inch waist. I'm a goddamn superhero and I'm going to put that cape back on, fly back into every singles bar in town and bang myself silly.
“Abby Mays” · Season 3, Episode 11
In this episode: Christian Troy (4), Sean (2), Liz (1)
Beauty is symmetry, and you don't have any. First, I'll need to get rid of all this nasty cottage cheese. And here, with some laser hair removal to keep this forest under control. These mud flaps will need to be lopped off. Have you ever picked up anything heavier than a carton of Haagan-Daaz?
We don't need you for this surgery, Quentin. Why don't you just go home?
Or why don't you head down to the docks? I hear there's a whole bunch of sailors just arrived with three-day passes.
[to Julia] Here's something that slipped through the crack. Some guy's cock in your boyfriend's ass!
Look, after being attacked, accused of murder, rejected by your mother, and dumped by your bride, who wouldn't be angry? It all makes sense. You've had a really rough year, Christian, but you shouldn't be taking it out on her.
Enough with your feminazi bullshit, Liz! [Edit] Shut up and serve the surgeon!!
AMAbby Mays
Just because I am ugly, doesn't mean I'm attracted to ugly, Dr. Troy. I get all the magazines. I watch MTV. I'm as affected by the media as anyone else.
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