DiNozzo quotes from NCIS

Kate

(disgusted) DiNozzo? (walks over to him)

DiNozzo

One sec! I'm looking into the suspects state of mind!

Kate

(snatches the emails out of his hand) I've read them! And they're all pretty much the same!

DiNozzo

(shocked) Well...I've only read two and if you think there all the same then we definitely need to have a talk!

Kate

(smirks) Yeah, well...twelve years at Catholic school says that ain't ever gonna happen! (stalks off)

DiNozzo

(gapes) Do you still have the pleated skirt? (follows her)

Gibbs

You get Fornell in here.

DiNozzo

What should I tell him?

Gibbs

Tell him he's about to make the second biggest mistake of his life!

My second biggest mistake, Jethro? That's very dramatic. What was the first?

Gibbs

When you married my second wife.

You could have warned me!

Gibbs

I did!

Gibbs

Want a 24 hour protection detail, DiNozzo, you're team leader.

DiNozzo

You're in safe hands Mike.

I've seen your hands DiNozzo, they don't impress me.

Tony

I get it. It must have been tough. Your wife dies and you're left with an eight year old kid, but your solution, Dad, was to warehouse me in boarding schools and summer camps, and half the time I never knew where you were or what you were doing. I needed a closer relationship.

You forget, we took some great vacations together.

Tony

Like the trip to Maui where you left me in a hotel room for two days and I was twelve years old?!

What's on your mind?

Gibbs

Your son.

What's junior done now?

Gibbs

Tony likes to hide behind the face of a clown, but he's the best young agent I've ever worked with.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

Gibbs

When was the last time you talked to him? I mean really talked to him.

We keep in touch.

Gibbs

Four years ago your son came very close to dying from pneumonic plague. I expected to see you. You didn't show then. Why are you here now?

He never told me he was sick.

Gibbs

Oh, so you don't keep in touch.

What's your point?

Gibbs

Tony inherited his personality from you, but I get the feeling there's a lot about your life you don't share.

They're playing a movie tonight at Remsen Hall. Patton again. I could hold a couple seats for us.

I'm good.

I don't mind. Front row goes fast.

Hey, Piggy, this isn't a movie. We're not gonna become unlikely friends. I just wanna be alone. [Goes back to dribbling the ball, then turns to Phelps] Alright, that was harsh. Tell you what; we can go to that movie if you want to. Cool?

Cool.

Hello? What the hell?

Cadet DiNozzo, you've been found guilty of breaking rules under the Code of Conduct. Your punishment will be delivered by Honor Corps.

I'm guessing you're the Honor Corps.

You're ours for the night, DiNozzo. And we're gonna have fun.

Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and opt out.

No.

Alright. You really wanna do this? Huh?

DiNozzo, where the hell have you been? Basketball practice started ten minutes ago down in the weight room- you're late! [Sternly, to Golan] You'll need to make do without him.

Thanks, Coach Tanner.

Don't thank me yet. I've seen you shoot. You got talent. I meant it; you're officially on the basketball team. And officially ten minutes late. Twenty laps, DiNozzo.

Gibbs

Make it count, skippy!

DiNozzo

Thank you, boss!