Kate Todd quotes from NCIS

Can I help you?

Tony

[pouring on the charm] I'm sure you can. I'm Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS. You can call me Tony. We'd like to talk to Dr. Chalmers, uh, [leans in very close to read her name tag] Darlene.

[melting] Okay.

Kate

Why don't you just give her a breast exam?

Tony

In good time.

Tony

You really like small towns?

Kate

Peace and quiet. A place where people know you by name. No Blockbuster and Starbucks on every corner. What's not to like?

Tony

Too quiet, everybody knows your name, there's no Blockbuster and Starbucks on every corner.

Kate

Big cities just can't give you what small towns can, Tony. It's a simpler way of life, a slice of Americana.

Tony

One that doesn't include fifty yard line seats to the Redskins or women with full sets of teeth.

Kate

Yeah it always comes back to that doesn't it?

Tony

See... You do get me.

Kate

You weren't buying any of it were you?

Gibbs

Any of what?

Kate

You know....her charm.

Gibbs

Is it really that hard to believe, Kate, that I might be attractive to a woman?

Kate

[on Gibbs] You think his recruiter told him a fast one?

Tony

I doubt it.

Kate

Why?

Tony

Can you imagine someone lying to Gibbs and getting away with it?

Tony

This kid wanted to be a paramedic - Sgt. Alvarez told him the Marine Corps would "train him to save lives."

Kate

What's wrong with that?

Gibbs

The Marine Corps doesn't have medical personnel.

Tony

They're all Navy.

Gibbs

Technically it is true, Marines do save lives. Mostly through the use of superior firepower.

Tony

You think he'd let me borrow his uniform for a weekend?

Kate

I don't know. I just hope I'm there when you ask him.

Gibbs

Got something for ya! (dumps folders in front of Kate)

Kate

(sarcastically) Okay...what is it!

Gibbs

Eight years of Sgt. Alvarez's files. Sorted into category!

Kate

Which are?

Gibbs

Gonna leave that part up to you!

Kate

Oh, Come on Gibbs! At least tell me what i'm looking for!

Gibbs

The same thing we're all looking for Kate! (walks out) A murderer!

Kate

(dumps her pen on her desk) Why didn't I take the damn dolls!

Kate

(as she is watching Tony try and use chopsticks) Relax your hand or you're never gonna get it in your mouth!

Tony

(as another bundle of noodles slip out of the chopsticks) I'm trying but the thing's too damn slippery!

Kate

Never gonna impress a girl that way!

Tony

Oh Whatever! Just the next time we do this Kate make sure they (drops more noodles) don't forget the forks! (Kate smiles as she successfully puts noodles in her mouth) No-one like a show-off! (after he fails again at eating noodles) Okay. Screw this! You got any soup? (Kate passes it over carefully as it's hot) Ah...thanks!

Gibbs

(getting out the elevator) That had better not be mine, DiNozzo!

Tony

(freezes) Gibbs ordered soup? (glares silently at Kate who nods smugly) Great! (as Gibbs glares at him) If it's any consolation it's not very good!

Gibbs

(stares at the noodles) Whose chow mein?

Kate

(with noodles in her mouth) Tony's!

Gibbs

(takes the box) Good!

Kate

Next time drive a little faster, Tony. I think my glands still have an ounce of adrenaline left.

Tony

Response to a crime scene investigation demands a timely arrival, Kate.

Kate

It would help if the investigators didn't puke all over it.

Gibbs

Brings back memories.

Kate

Memories of what?

Gibbs

Marriage.

Tony

You're not the only one who knows how to profile.

Kate

Maybe. But with that haircut you wouldn't pass for an ROTC student. [smiles at Tony]

Ducky

I thought I was going mad. I mean, the two autopsies were nearly identical. It was déjà vu all over again.

Tony

Hey, that's a Yogi Berra quote.

Kate

The cartoon character?

Tony

Not Yogi Bear, Yogi Berra.

Kate

Well, judging by your reaction, he's either a sportsperson or a bouncer at a strip club.

Tony

Gentlemen's club.

Gibbs

This autopsy give us anything the other one didn't?

Ducky

The bullet was in better shape. And I noticed something peculiar in his nose, so I did a swab.

Gibbs

A swab, Duck? Kind of old school, isn't it?

Ducky

Oh, I just go where the evidence takes me. I recall a case in my early career, yeah, before we had the benefit of all this marvelous technology. A young man, barely 20 years old, he had jelly from a doughnut on his face.

Gibbs

Ducky?

Ducky

Yes?

Gibbs

What did you find in his nose?

Ducky

Cellulosic fiber, lignin.

Gibbs

Wood.

Ducky

Well, sawdust, to be precise.

Tony

Hey, Boss, don't you have some kind of weird thing about women and sawdust? I don't think it's weird.

Kate

Laura Seeger said that her husband had a woodshop out back.

Gibbs

Yeah, well, she also said he hadn't used it in a month. I mean, it wouldn't still be there in his nose after a month, would it, Ducky?

Ducky

No, that was recent.

Tony

Well, he could've been woodworking somewhere else.

Gibbs

Yeah, he could've.

Ducky

Yeah, something else showed up on the swab. A dog's hair.

Kate

Laura Seeger had two dogs in the back. But she seems to have a solid alibi.

Gibbs

One of her errands was to the bank. Charlie could give us the surveillance tapes. They'd all be time-stamped.

Kate

Yeah, but if she was guilty, why would she just offer up her DNA so freely?

Gibbs

Because she didn't know we had something to match it to.

Kate

Do all Marines build boats?

Tony

Only the ones who've been married a few times.

Kate

Why's that?

Tony

The rest of them can afford to buy one.

Tony

Are you sure it was a bomb, Gibbs?

Gibbs

Yes, DiNozzo. For the last time... I'm sure it was a bomb.

Tony

If you say so. EOD sure taking their sweet time getting here.

Ducky

Sorry we're late. Gerald got us lost several times.

Gerald

Me? You had the map.

Gibbs

We have our own problems here, Ducky.

Ducky

Yeah, I can see that. FBI take over our crime scene again?

Kate

Gibbs thought he saw a bomb.

Gibbs

[annoyed] What do you mean 'thought'?

Kate

Do I really have to say it?

Gibbs

Say what?

Ducky

Yes, Kate. Say what?

Kate

You need glasses, Gibbs. Are you happy?

Gibbs

[slowly lifting his head] Sorry. I didn't quite catch that last part...

Gibbs

Tony, touch my cell phone again, I'll break your fingers. (The Elevator door closes)

Kate

(Attempts to reassure) You know he really does like you.

Ari

Any good with this gun, Caitlin?

Kate

Give it back and I'll demonstrate.

Ari

Ever fire it in anger?

Kate

I'd love to right now.