Kate Todd quotes from NCIS

Kate

What's your clearance?

Tony

Confidential.

Kate

Confidential? What'd you do? Kill someone in high school?

Tony

Hah. Funny, Kate. They screwed up my paperwork with another agent.

Gibbs

Yeah, DiNozzo died in a car crash last month. Very tragic.

Tony

They yanked my clearance and now I have to take a physical to get it back.

Kate

Why is that?

Tony

To prove that I'm still alive.

Tony

[protesting] Ah c'mon, boss. I've been breaking that cap in for three months. I love that cap.

Kate

Then don't shoot it.

Gibbs

Back this up? [tapes Kate's PDA to her target]

Kate

[protests] Ah, no no no, Gibbs. Come on, my whole life is in that thing.

Gibbs

Then don't shoot it. [walks away]

Kate

[to Tony] If we screw this up, I have a suggestion.

Tony

What?

Kate

We break into Gibbs' basement and set the boat on fire.

Tony

That's cold, Kate. I knew there was a reason I liked you.

Gibbs

Fire. Let's see how you do under pressure.

Tony

I'll bring the lighter fluid.

Kate

Deal.

Abby

Very cool. Where can I get one of these? [admires Tony's bullet hole ridden cap]

Tony

You can have that one.

Tony

The eyes need to be bigger.

Kate

The eyes are fine, the nose needs to be bigger.

Tony

Fine, I'll put out an APB for Pinocchio.

Gibbs

Welcome to my world, Abby.

Kate

What does he want the LES for?

Tony

Kate, that's NCIS 101.

Kate

You have no idea.

Tony

Not a clue.

Kate

Is he really sleeping or is that just an act?

Tony

Oh, he's sleeping.

Kate

How can you tell?

Tony

He looks peaceful.

Gibbs

Morning. Sleep well?

Kate

If you consider throwing up violently all night and being thrown around like a couple of rag dolls...

Tony

...then yes, we slept very well, Boss. Thanks for asking.

Kate

We sure screwed that up.

Tony

Yep, still doesn't explain the cover-up and fake colonel.

Kate

They're called classified ops for a reason, Tony. We'll probably never know.

Tony

The phone call? Your calling plan include the afterlife, Kate?

Kate

Voice recognition isn't an exact science.

Tony

Neither is Gibbs' gut. And he's convinced there's more going on here than a crank call.

Kate

Well, I hate to break it to you, Tony, but Gibbs can be wrong sometimes.

Tony

Name once.

Kate

He has been married, like, four times.

Tony

There is that.

Gibbs

There is what?

Tony

Nothing, boss. Just, uh, discussing the case.

Kate

Or a lack thereof. You still wanna take a look at those LES's?

Gibbs

I don't know. You figured out how Kidwell died yet?

Kate

I'll, um… I'll just get them in order for you.

Gibbs

Kate? It was three times, not four.

Kate

We know Kidwell was murdered.

Tony

And that lying sack of excrement is somehow involved.

Tony

(eating a sandwich) I would just like to go on the record and say "I really miss the Gulf Stream we took to Gitmo" (notices Kate with her head in a bag so puts his sandwich next to her mouth) You hungry?

Kate

(groans as she's sick some more) Tony! Do I look hungry to you?

Tony

Well, No! Actually you look kind of...

Kate

(gasps) Tell me that's normal!

Tony

That is! (the plane drops suddenly and Kate freaks) Now that I'm not too sure about!

Kate

(groans in fear) How long till we get to Colombia?

Tony

(swallowing his sandwich) Oh not long! (sees Kate's look of relief) Five, six hours tops!

Kate

(swallows a mouthful of water, looks at Gibbs sleeping across from them) Is he really sleeping or is that just an act?

Tony

Oh, he's sleeping.

Kate

How can you tell?

Tony

He looks peaceful.

Gibbs

(yawns and stretches) Morning. Sleep well?

Kate

If by "well" you mean violently throwing up all night and being bounced around like rag dolls...

Tony

...then yes, we slept very well, Boss. Thanks for asking.

Gibbs

You'll get used to it!

Kate

That's what I'm afraid of!

Agent Gibbs? We'll be landing in about fifteen minutes! (passes Gibbs a cup of coffee)

Gibbs

Thanks! My compliments to the pilot!

Kate

(stands up and looks around)

Gibbs

Uh...What ya looking for Kate?

Kate

The ladies room!

Tony

(snickers)

Kate

Okay then the Men's room!

Gibbs

There's no "Men's room".

Kate

Then how the hell am I supposed to go to the bathroom? (Gibbs passes her a plastic bag) Oh no! Forget it! I can wait! (Gibbs smiles at her then she sticks her hand out for the bag) Damn it! Where?

Gibbs

If you want some privacy...I'd go behind those big boxes over there!

Kate

God I miss Air Force One!

Kate

[To a soaking wet and obviously freezing cold DiNozzo] You OK? What is it?

Gibbs

(grinning) Shrinkage.

Kate

[sees Tony coming in Ducky's uniform] Oh my god.

Tony

Don't even, okay.

Kate

Did I say anything?

Tony

You were. I know you were.

Kate

They're a touch small, but other than that, it's fine. And the bonus - no belt.

Tony

Hmmf!

Gibbs

...and she plays golf left handed.

Kate

Whoa, wait, you could see that the clubs were left handed with just a passing glance?

Gibbs

My second wife played golf left handed.

Kate

So?

Tony

When someone tries to split your skull with a seven iron, it's not a club you soon forget.

Kate

[referring to Tony refusing to answer a woman's calls] Talk to her.

Tony

She'll get the message.

Gibbs

[small smile and nod]

Kate

You know I bet this is why number two came after you with a nine iron, isn't it? You just refused to sit down and talk things through.

Gibbs

Actually that wasn't it at all.

Kate

So what was it, then?

Gibbs

Seven iron.

Ducky

We have a rising tide.

Gibbs

Okay. DiNozzo?

Tony

Yo!

Gibbs

You and me take measurements. We'll rebuild them later in the lab. Kate, more photos!

Kate

Gotcha.

Gibbs

Gerald, take notes.

Gerald

I'm on it.

Gibbs

Come on, move it!

Ducky

We've got to keep him dry.

Gibbs

I've got the sign.

Tony

I've got the farthest boulder.

Gibbs

Head and feet!

Tony

Fifteen point seven one.

Gibbs

Eleven point three six meters.

Gerald

Fifteen point seven one. Eleven point three six. Got them.

Kate

His dive knife is missing.

Ducky

Yeah, you didn't see this coming, did you, my friend?

Gibbs

Hey, watch out! Tide!

Ducky

(Chuckles) Well done, Tony.

Gibbs

Bag him.

Ducky

I've got a spare suit in the van.

Kate

[To a soaking wet and obviously freezing cold DiNozzo] You OK? What is it?

Gibbs

(grinning) Shrinkage.

Kate

Still no head or left leg.

Abby

Did you check Hooterville?

Tony

Where's Hooterville?

Abby

You guys. Petticoat Junction, Green Acres. Hooterville.

Tony

I prefer TV shows from this century.

Kate

[about Gibbs] Three red-headed ex-wives shows his judgment is a little questionable.

Tony

None of them were murder suspects. Although... I don't know about the redhead who picks him up now and then.