I thought I was going mad. I mean, the two autopsies were nearly identical. It was déjà vu all over again.
TonyHey, that's a Yogi Berra quote.
Tony
Not Yogi Bear, Yogi Berra.
Well, judging by your reaction, he's either a sportsperson or a bouncer at a strip club.
Tony
Gentlemen's club.
This autopsy give us anything the other one didn't?
The bullet was in better shape. And I noticed something peculiar in his nose, so I did a swab.
A swab, Duck? Kind of old school, isn't it?
Oh, I just go where the evidence takes me. I recall a case in my early career, yeah, before we had the benefit of all this marvelous technology. A young man, barely 20 years old, he had jelly from a doughnut on his face.
What did you find in his nose?
Cellulosic fiber, lignin.
Well, sawdust, to be precise.
Tony
Hey, Boss, don't you have some kind of weird thing about women and sawdust? I don't think it's weird.
Laura Seeger said that her husband had a woodshop out back.
Yeah, well, she also said he hadn't used it in a month. I mean, it wouldn't still be there in his nose after a month, would it, Ducky?
Tony
Well, he could've been woodworking somewhere else.
Yeah, something else showed up on the swab. A dog's hair.
Laura Seeger had two dogs in the back. But she seems to have a solid alibi.
One of her errands was to the bank. Charlie could give us the surveillance tapes. They'd all be time-stamped.
Yeah, but if she was guilty, why would she just offer up her DNA so freely?
Because she didn't know we had something to match it to.
[Tony, Kate, and Gibbs are sitting in wait against their car after Gibbs claims he saw a bomb in the house they were searching]
Tony
Are you sure it was a bomb, Gibbs?
Yes, DiNozzo. For the last time... I'm sure it was a bomb.
Tony
If you say so. EOD sure taking their sweet time getting here.
[Van arrives with Ducky and Gerald]
Sorry we're late. Gerald got us lost several times.
We have our own problems here, Ducky.
Yeah, I can see that. FBI take over our crime scene again?
Gibbs thought he saw a bomb.
[annoyed] What do you mean 'thought'?
Do I really have to say it?
You need glasses, Gibbs. Are you happy?
[behind them, the house suddenly explodes, sending everyone exclaiming to the ground]
[slowly lifting his head] Sorry. I didn't quite catch that last part...
[irritated] Tony! I'm not thinking about that damn terrorist.
Tony
Sorry.
Look at Gibbs. He's been growling like a wounded bear since that night.
Tony
Well, he is wounded and he always growls like a bear. It's his way of never letting anyone know when he's hurting. Yours is to be moody.
Tony
Oh, what do you call it. I feel sorry for whatever his name is.
Tony
Yeah. Wouldn't want Gibbs on my ass.
We're never gonna see that guy again.
Tony
Maybe not. But Gibbs will.
Tony
[As Tommy Lee Jones] Ladies and gentlemen. I want a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, doghouse and outhouse in the area. You got that? Good! Now turn off those cameras and get out of the way!
Accent's still not right.
Tony
Damn.
Tony
The defense lawyer told me to "shove it". The message was actually delivered by his assistant, but he's sure it was verbatim.
Tony
Boss he's no longer a JAG. He's a $400-an-hour Beltway lawyer. (pauses awkwardly) With really nice shoes!
DiNozzo, I don't care! I don't care if he's wearing Armani, Prada or Ermen-something-Zenga...get his ass here!
Tony
Ermenegildo Zegna, Boss. Just so you know!
[Tony brings in the defense lawyer in handcuffs who is arguing with him and being uncooperative]
I'm gonna own your house Agent DiNozzo!
Tony
[sarcastically] I rent.
[loudly] You know what the federal minimums are for aggravated assault on the cover of authority, kidnapping, false imprisonment...?!
Tony
[leads him to Gibbs' desk] Well, ya know. I don't, but I'm sure my boss Special Agent Jethro Gibbs does.
[smirks] Very subtle DiNozzo.
Tony
[smiles at the defense lawyer] Shooting him just seems so ham-fisted.
[deadpan] Whatever it takes.
Uncuff him, DiNozzo, so he can say hi to an old friend!
I wish I'd known that when we were at JAG!
NCIS · 1,787 quotes
