You shoved a French cop off a cliff?
There was a lake below!
Sixty feet below.
“Seadog” · Season 1, Episode 3
In this episode: Tony DiNozzo (6), Leroy Jethro Gibbs (3), Kate Todd (3), Ducky Mallard (3), Gerald (3), Abby Sciuto (2)
I was in the Secret Service, we tend to get all hot and bothered over large numbers of $100 bills.
Is that what does it for you?
What does it for me, Tony, is a mystery you will never find out.
But, I know the answer.... Grant.
[about to send drug kingpins to Gitmo as suspected terrorists] You do not have the right to remain silent. You do not have the right to an attorney. If you want an attorney, you won't get an appointment to see one. Do you understand these rights you don't have?
[while watching video of a terrorists van] Are we submitting to the Sundance Film Festival?
Yeah, best terrorist film category.
Sweet.
Well that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling doesn't it?
What?
That Gibbs trusts us with a contaminated crime scene.
I feel like I just kissed my sister.
I didn't know you had a sister Tony.
I don't. I was fantasizing.
I need music to do that.
[Tony is reading off a list of potential cases to Gibbs]
He's been searching for a case, any case, since I came in.
[reading from an e-mail] "All agents not working active cases are to attend the sexual harassment lecture at the NCIS human resource training center at 0930 hours today."
[deadpan] I cannot sit through another one of those. I will shoot myself.
You mean they train you guys how to harass? [Gibbs turns and looks at her] Hey, I'm kidding, except for Tony.
For the last time, Kate, I was only trying to get my seatbelt on.
[angrily to Tony] That man is an imbecile! He shouldn't be a school crossing guard!
It moved.
Remind me to check our inventory of alcohol swabs.
It moved, Doc.
Well, he was certainly dead on the beach.
Well, we might get lucky
(typing on her laptop) No-one's that lucky!
We are
He could be a service man doing his job!
(as the terrorist starts shooting he yells) No, I don't think so!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.