Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 9
[After bees kill first Mrs. Hargrove's dog and then her, the local coroner questions Mr. Hargrove at an inquest.]
Is there anything you can tell this court which would help it to establish the exact cause of your wife's death?
The cause should be obvious. She was stung to death by bees.
And her dog?
Uh, the dog didn't sting her.
[Vicki gets dressed and sneaks out, her shoes clacking with a rather horse hoof-like sound.]
[singing to "Sleigh Bells"] Giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up, let's go…
[Meanwhile, Doris, wearing a somewhat dull brown skirt and vest over a white shirt, walks through the woods.]
Hey, it's Nondescript Spice.
Whose woods these are?
Oh, I think I know.
Huh?
[High in the trees, the killer bees are swarming in a whirlpool-like circle.]
[gasps] Killer cookie crumbs!
Damn, it's that "bee-loud glade" that Yeats spoke of.
[After Vicki passes out from exhaustion during her solo, the music is still playing on the reel-to-reel, with her voice still singing as well.]
She still lip-syncs better than Jewel.
[Vicki's feverish nightmare includes a shot of Tess, barking as bees swarm over her]
Avenge me! Ruff!
[While Vicki is waiting at Manfred's home, Hargrove brings him the rest of her luggage.]
If you're looking for her panties I'm already wearing the good ones.
[Moments after Vicki drops a flaming log on Manfred's carpet, his entire house is engulfed in flames.]
The house was made of typing paper and oily rags.
[At the very end of the movie, as Vicki is leaving Hargrove's farm, a man in a bowler hat walks in from out of nowhere. Then the credits roll.]
All right, start smoochin', movie! What the hell is this?
Is there going to be a credit that says "Guy At The End"?
[In the opening credits, we see: Century 21 Calling.]
Oh! They want their little gold jacket back.
[A monorail is moving through Seattle over the opening credits]
Oh, these monorail designers - they have a one-track mind.
Why do you lash out like that?
I don't know.
[Shot of the Space Needle over a soundtrack of organ music.]
The only bathroom in the fair is up there.
Well, I'm glad to know the future has CONSTANT ORGAN MUSIC!
[Nerdy guy pauses a moment to look at marquee with ladies' legs.]
Oh, come on! You're gay and you know it!
[Mike notices a sign that says "Gifts From Germany."]
Gifts From Germany? What's that? Braunschweiger, cars with heaters that don't work, and identification papers?
[At the 1962 Seattle World's Fair, we see a science exhibit entitled How Do Animals Learn?]
"How Do Animals Learn?" Well, as long as they learn to taste good, I don't really care.
[A lady at the How Do Animals Learn? exhibit thrusts a bird into the face of a nerdy kid at the fair.]
Here, you're a geek. Why don't you bite the head off this bird?
...All you'll have to do is give the telephone company a list of the numbers you dial most frequently. The electronic brain's memory will do the rest.
[The blond-haired, blue-eyed couple look at each other in excitement.]
The Führer will like that!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
