[On the creek bottom, Bob Hedges finds the chest containing the dead cat.]
Hey! They whacked Toonces!
CCrow
Well, he killed a made canary, so they had to do 'im.
S8Terror from the Year 5000
EDr. Erling
Think, Bob. Throughout human history, what has been the first activity of explorers of any new region?
CACrow [as Hedges]
Genocide?
MAMike [as Hedges]
Slavery?
SAServo [as Hedges]
Diseased blanket spreading?
[Bob Hedges, Claire, and her father have some time to kill while waiting for Victor's test results.]
HHedges
Is there a good movie in town?
[snorts] Now we get to watch people watching a movie? What is that all about?
CCrow
Heh heh heh!
[Mike and Crow consider what they're saying.]
MCMike, Crow
Oh.
[Victor packs a suitcase and leaves the house]
CACrow [as Victor/Joe Buck]
I'm goin' to the city to be a stud.
Please! That's a hideous thought.
This is the same sumptuously detailed set that was later used in The Age of Innocence!
CCrow
Or was it Sense and Sensibility?
I think it was Barfly.
CCrow
Yeah, that's it.
S8The She-Creature
[At the carnival, Lombardi talks about his assistant Andrea with Johnny the barker.]
BJBarker Johnny
I knew her when she was a carnival follower. Every time we'd hit a town, she'd be there, waiting for us.
So she's a carnival preceder.
[Dr. Erickson chats with Andrea, who noticeably fills out her tight-fitting top.]
Maybe we could talk about it over a cup of coffee.
AAndrea
I'd like that.
SAServo [as Erickson]
Would you like a C cup or a D cup of coffee?
[Lombardi hypnotizes Andrea back to her "Elizabeth" former life. Fellow hypnotist Erickson (played by Lance Fuller) questions her.]
CACrow [as Erickson/Fuller]
My first question: will I get the part in This Island Earth?
What year is it, Andrea?
MAMike [as Elizabeth]
[singing] The year of the cat.
AEAndrea/Elizabeth
1618, the Year of Our Lord.
SAServo [as Elizabeth/Eliza Doolittle]
In 'artford, 'ereford, and 'ampshire.
Who is the reigning monarch?
AEAndrea/Elizabeth
James Stuart.
MAMike [as George Bailey]
Now, wait a second. You're crazy, and you're driving me crazy, too!
[Lombardi forces King the dog to back away simply by staring at him.]
LLombardi
There aren't many who can control an animal by hypnosis, are there, Doctor?
No.
LLombardi
He did what I told him without a single word.
That's because he's a dog!
[As Dr. Erickson looks out over the beach, large flipper-like footprints appear mysteriously in the sand.]
[gasps] Donald Duck has the Ring of Power!
...
CCrow
Frodo goes snorkling!
[A poster for Dr. Lombardi's show features a picture of him, serious and unsmiling]
See his lecture series, "Let A Smile Be Your Calling Card."
[To keep the Observers at bay so Pearl and Bobo can escape, the Nanites place a Number 7 move on the planet below]
Say, what's a Number 7? [the planet explodes]
Mike, you blew up another planet! What is your deal?
I just told them to take care of a little problem!
CCrow
And they did! Here comes Mike- Destroyer of Worlds!
Oh God of Fire and Vengeance... stay away from me!
[The creature has just mortally attacked Lombardi as blank-faced Dr. Erickson looks on:]
MAMike [as Erickson]
Well, mmm, gosh, I, mmm... Hmm. Uh...
...
[Erickson continues to emote incomprehensibly:]
CCrow
Fear? Elation? What is it?
...
CCrow
Despair? Love? Joy? Tell us!
...
CCrow
Concern? Passion? Hunger? What, Lance?
...
CCrow
Ennui? Angst? Apathy? Gas?
...
Cold? Jubilant? Headache-y?
His emotional memory is the previous scene.
Man, if ever I wanted to put a movie into a stump grinder, this is the one.
[stinger; Bobo lies on the floor of the Camping Planet, in pain from the crash landing]
BBobo
[weakly] Ow; my spine. Ow...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.