[Phantom is hiding behind the door as Prince of Space bursts in; Phantom quietly exits.]
The easily-bamboozled Prince of Space.
S8Prince of Space
[Speaking of the monster which guards Krankor:]
Quite right, my dear Macken. A monster which I created. He obeys my slightest command.
CACrow [as Phantom]
Like, "Wander around aimlessly and gain weight."
[Prince of Space has survived a thermal trap.]
PSPrince of Space
Enough of this! When will you ever learn your guns won't work on me?
Shoot him!
MAMike [as henchman]
Brilliant new plan, sir!
S8Horror of Party Beach
[As the opening the opening card appears]
[Laughs] Horror!
CCrow
Yeah, the only horror at Party Beach is Cindy's cheese dip!
[During a driving scene]
Nude driving: a new fad among the teens.
[Over the "Additional Dialogue by" credit]
What is "additional dialogue", anyway?
CCrow
Oh, things like "Hey you!", "Get off that!", and "Why not?"
CCrow
Sturgis: a city on the move!
CCrow
I bet that would be good with drawn butter. Of course, I'd eat my own *head* with drawn butter.
[A man in a t-shirt and Speedo-type swimwear jumps into the frame, sickening Mike and the 'bots]
CCrow
Men should not have bikini areas!
[Young beachgoers perform the "Zombie Stomp" dance]
I'm starting to agree with the Taliban militia: dancing should not be allowed.
[The guitarist of the band sings while rolling his eyes back into his head]
CCrow
MY SKULL!
[A baggy-eyed monster with a head fin and hot-dog-like mouth protrusions emerges from behind a rock]
CCrow
Whoa! A creature whose face is 80% eyebag.
So, radiation has a sense of humor!
[On the beach, the biker-gang leader fights lean Hank]
SAServo [as Biker/Johnny Mathis]
[singing to "Chances Are"]
Chances are
That I'll kick your scrawny ass...
. . .
[Eventually, the gang leader relents and offers Hank his hand]
MAMike [as Gang Leader]
You have defeated me, sir; you and your noble band of choreographers.
[The monsters attack an all-girl slumber party]
[They] don't even know what panties are, yet they feel compelled to raid.
Every male of any species has the biological urge to panty-raid.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.