CCarlson
Dr. Adams.
RRuth
Yes Steve?
MAMike [as Carlson]
What's this "and the rest" crap?
S7Laserblast
What I want to know is...
[interrupting] Who we are.... why we're here.
SAServo [as Exeter]
And why I have a picture of a burger on the wall.
AAdams
Be careful. Exeter could flatter you to death.
The truth is never flattering, Dr. Adams.
SAServo [as Exeter]
You fine, foxy lady!
[Exeter and his "team" are having an elegant dinner, complete with music by Mozart.]
What do you think of Mr. Mozart, Exeter?
I'm afraid I don't know the gent--
SAServo [as Exeter]
I'm not an alien!
My mind must have been wandering. Your composer, of course.
Our composer? He belongs to the world.
Yes, indeed.
MAMike [as Exeter]
I'm not an alien.
. . .
We won't start cracking the whip on Meacham until tomorrow.
SAServo [as Exeter]
Then I ram my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest -- but I'm not an alien!
[Meacham, Adams, and Carlson looking at sketches of Exeter and Brack]
CCarlson
Did you notice the peculiar indentations in both of their foreheads?
[sarcastically] NO!!!
So, they're going to escape under the cover of afternoon in the biggest car in the county?
[Meacham, Adams, and Carlson dive down a road at high speeds.]
CCrow
Ness and his men speed towards Capone's hideout!
[Three Metalunans are seen in the conversion tubes.]
CCrow
Ladies and gentlemen, A Flock of Seagulls.
[On board Exeter's spaceship, Cal and Ruth stand on a "conversion" platform.]
Place your hands above the rails.
[We hear the sound of static as the scientists' hands are suddenly pulled onto the rails.]
They're magnetized.
MAMike [as Exeter]
And if your hands were metal, that would mean something.
That's enough. Normal view.
MSMike, Servo, and Crow
[singing in time with the dramatic music] Nor-mal view. Nor-mal view! Nor-mal view! NOR-MAL VIEWWWWWW!
[to the Mutant] Stand back. I command you, STAND BACK!
ACTING!
CACrow [as Exeter]
Well, that went well. I can't possibly think of what could go...
[The Mutant attacks Exeter, Crow mimicks screams of pain]
RUTH! MEACHAM!
SAServo [as Exeter]
I LOVE YOU!
[picks up boulder] Stand back, Exeter!
Meacham, please! You have to believe me!
MAMike [as Exeter]
You're holding a Mutant turd!
[Meacham starts beating on the Mutant's exposed brain]
CACrow [as the Mutant]
OH, I'M VERY VULNERABLE THERE! OH, THERE GOES THE PIANO LESSONS! OH, NOW I CAN'T REMEMBER MY DAD!
CACrow [as Ruth]
Oh, Carl.
SAServo [as Meacham]
Uh, Cal.
CACrow [as Ruth]
... oh, Cal.
RRuth
Home...
Thank God it's still here.
CCrow
And Friday!
CCrow
[talking about the Puppet Wrangler credit for Mystery Science Theater 3000] "Puppet Wrangler"? There weren't any puppets in this movie!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.