[In the lab, through a viewport, we see a rectangular metal slab suspended above a squat, boxy metal coil.]
Oh, yeah. This is when science didn't have to have any specific purpose.
MDr. Meacham
Lowering the cylinder.
SAServo [as Meacham]
Inserting the breakfast pastry.
CACrow [as Narrator]
[darkly] The secret government Eggo project.
SAServo [as Meacham]
Contact Dr. Jemima!
MAMike [as Meacham]
God, I love the blueberry ones best.
[Meacham flips a switch. The toaster-like coil starts to red with heat, and we hear a pinging sound.]
MDr. Meacham
Increase the rate of reaction.
SAServo [as Meacham]
Start warming the syrup!
[Cal and Joe play with some knobs and dials. The "toaster" emits loud grinding noises.]
MDr. Meacham
Check rate of radioactive decay.
CACrow [as Meacham]
Increase the Flash Gordon noises and put more science stuff around.
. . .
[At the end of the experiment, the toaster object blows up.]
MAMike [as Meacham/Morrison]
Oh, my God! My waffle! Oh, the humanity!
[A loud beeping noise follows post-explosion.]
MMeacham
There are 2,486 parts.
[Joe is stepping around the spread out Interocitor parts. Crow makes a loud crunching sound.]
CACrow [as Joe]
Uh, 485, sir!
[As Joe walks around the parts, Crow keeps making crunching noises with every step Joe takes.]
You know what my kids would say...
[interrupting] "You're not my real father!"
"Dig this crazy, mixed-up plumbing!"
MMeacham
Plug it in, Joe.
Doesn't even have any kids. Poor, deluded Joe.
[Exeter and his "team" are having an elegant dinner, complete with music by Mozart.]
MMeacham
What do you think of Mr. Mozart, Exeter?
I'm afraid I don't know the gent--
SAServo [as Exeter]
I'm not an alien!
My mind must have been wandering. Your composer, of course.
MMeacham
Our composer? He belongs to the world.
MAMike [as Exeter]
I'm not an alien.
. . .
We won't start cracking the whip on Meacham until tomorrow.
SAServo [as Exeter]
Then I ram my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest -- but I'm not an alien!
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
