[On the SOL bridge, Mike and the Bots are in costumes.]
Ah! Hello. Welcome to tonight's Mystery… Murder… Dinner… Party--
CCrow
I did it!
GSGypsy, Servo, Mike
CROW!
S6Bloodlust!
[Our helpless "heroes" are instructed to go to "The Tree Of Death" where they will find means to fight back Balleau. Cut to a tree with a jawless skull on it]
MAMike [as the skull]
[muffled and sarcastically] Oh, oh, REAL good plan! "Let's go to the Tree Of Death right away!"
[In Balleau's "gallery", one of his victims is kneeling with his hands extended]
MAMike [as Al Jolson]
[singing] Mammy! Mammy! I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles!
CCrow
[indignantly] I don't like the villain!
[Balleau finally meets his end after being impaled on one of his trophy stands.]
Now, see, if earlier in the film this guy had said "I'll never be impaled on my own rack", then this would be ironic.
[of Pearl Forrester's influence on Clay] Now I understand why he's so sick! Boy, I'm tempted to call her something that rhymes with 'bitch'! Oh, I mean 'witch'!
She said the word! Gypsy's in trouble; Gypsy's in trouble!
S6Code Name: Diamond Head
[The opening title and copyright information only appear for a few seconds.]
CCrow
Hey, I didn't finish!
[At the very beginning of the short]
This is the fairground, where the fair is held.
Any questions so far?
[The Olson family loads their truck for the county fair.]
Into the truck goes one of the calves that Johnny Olson has raised.
SAServo [as Narrator/Barker]
Tell us what they've won, Johnny Olson! [N]
Johnny goes first to see the fish.
CACrow [as Johnny]
I like fish...
Say, these bass would make good fishing! If only they were in the creek back home.
Well, see, they were in the creek, but they've been caught and that's why they're here.
[Bob and Johnny are examining a collection of moths on display at the fairgrounds]
CACrow [as Narrator]
Later, these moths turn up in the mouths of Bob's victims!
[Showing a collection of pickle jars]
Pickles pack the stands for the pickle races!
[The short cuts to a new scene]
What's this?
CCrow
EVIL!
[A matronly judge unenthusiastically samples a cake.]
Judging cakes oughta be fun.
SAServo [as Narrator]
… but this woman sucks the joy out of it!
[The stern-looking judge closely examines a cake.]
First, she feels the cake...
CACrow [as Narrator]
...then she rubs it into her hair...
[As the Olsens go to have lunch...]
MAMike [as Mr. Olsen]
Let's go eat something gray.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.