Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 6
This is a story about the summer George and Betty spent on Uncle Jim's dairy farm.
A cautionary tale.
George and Betty are both excited because this is a very special trip.
They're dropping off the kids and never coming back.
But they're not a bit more excited than Andy and Jane, who live on the farm.
Poor saps.
[The kids take turns ringing a bell to call Jim.]
Ah, yes, the bell signals a nuclear attack in these parts.
Well, now they have nothing to look forward to!
I never want this day to end!
[The kids are playing in the hayloft]
Now Junior Samples and Lulubelle make their appearance.
OW, MY SPINE!
I don't think cause my doctor-- I'm frail and I have allergies-- but if you really want me to...
OW, I FOUND A PITCHFORK!
All the commotion provokes a bull snake resting in the hay.
I gotta be careful of my new jeans 'cause I got them at Pamida.
Tonight on ESPN2, hayloft rope swinging.
You'd better watch, 'cause it might happen.
[Betty and Jane play with baby chicks]
Baby chicks, too...
Hey, they're women-- oh.
[As everyone has dinner]
Living on a farm makes you hungry and aunt Helen certainly is a good cook.
Given her limitations.
Jerry Lee Lewis joins the family for dinner.
Ah, yes, now's the time for Uncle Jim's fundamentalist dogma.
But I don't like food!
Look at all the wonderful things to eat.
At restaurants.
It takes all kinds of food to build up muscles and let us bigger and stronger.
Mostly just butter.
Susie drains the last of her Dirty Banana.
That's why I'm burning my bra.
Repressed emotions help the evening pass without incident.
Mmm, good white, hearty white bread for white, white people.
As the summer passed, everything seemed to grow. The corn was knee high on George when he came. Now it's taller than he is.
George is clearly shrinking.
The summer is over, and George and Betty are waiting for their parents to take them back to the city.
FREEDOM!
[Their parents drive up to the farm]
Just throw them their winter clothes and then floor it!
Hey, they're driving right by-- Wait! Wait!
[The short ends with everyone waving as they drive off]
Goodbye! We'll send you that arm if we find it!
So long, you corn-shucking suckers!
[Over the opening title]
The story of Wisconsin sausage.
[towards Tony] Tony; I have reconsidered.
[as Balleau, shooting Tony in the stomach with a crossbow bolt] John Steinbeck in Of Mice and Murder.
[as Tony screams in pain and dies] Rail! Rail against the dying of the-
[The opening credits list over three dozen actors.]
Oh, I know what this is, this is an "I-can't-pay-you-but-I'll-put-your-name-in-the-credits" cast list.
[As the short begins, Judy is ironing while listening to the radio.]
She's listening to her to dehumidifier.
Yes, teens dig lush orchestral arrangements.
12 o'clock and time for the headlines of the latest news of the day. According to the latest bulletins-- [Judy turns off the radio]
Ironing can be deadly.
[Judy walks around the kitchen, rattling an eggbeater in an empty bowl to try and get Alex's attention.]
Um, has anybody noticed that the daughter is psychotic?
[as a police car changes its model during a scene transition]
Hey, the car turned from a Ford into a Plymouth!
That'll happen...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
