[A rumble breaks out. Big band music plays throughout.]
Yes, it's teenage angst with Les Brown and his Band of Renown!
. . .
[A girl tries to break up a fight by putting a bucket on one boy's head]
MAMike [as boy]
You make sun go away. You are powerful.
. . .
[Silver hits Chip with a pie.]
Fight choreography by Jimmy Ben Lasen.
. . .
[Two girls fight on the dock with oars.]
. . .
This is why there's no alcohol at Euro Disney.
. . .
[A police car can be seen.]
MAMike [as policeman]
Nobody called us about the party. Over.
Maybe it's time you level with me.
CACrow [as Mary Lee]
You know how we're both hot?
MLMary Lee
Well, you remember the night you stood Chip up?
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
He died.
MLMary Lee
Well, he was real sore when he didn't find you...
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
And then he died.
MLMary Lee
... and he asked me to go in his place.
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
And then I killed him and he died.
MLMary Lee
He always kept saying I was too young to go anyplace, so I went.
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
And I killed him and he got all dead!
MLMary Lee
It was fun at first when he only kissed me...
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
He wasn't dead then.
MLMary Lee
But then he...
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
...died.
MLMary Lee
... he started...
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
... being killed by me...
MLMary Lee
... getting too fresh and I ran away. Chip caught me and tried to throw me down on the ground...
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
Right before he got dead.
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
He died.
MLMary Lee
Rocks slipped out from under his feet...
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
And then he became killed.
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
And he died.
So that's how they found my lipstick in his car! But where'd his friend come in?
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
He's not dead!
MLMary Lee
He saw it happen.
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
He died.
MLMary Lee
He thought it was you at first...
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
And then he died.
MLMary Lee
...until he saw me again.
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
And I killed him.
And all the time, you've been letting me sit here in jailsville!
MLMary Lee
[sobbing] I'm sorry, Silver, I tried to tell you the first time I came here!
CACrow [as Mary Lee]
[exaggerated sobbing] I TRIED TO TELL YOU THE FIRST TIME I CAME HERE!!!
MAMike [as Silver]
I just can't believe you went out with Chip!
[Silver begins laughing]
MLMary Lee
What are you laughing at?
SAServo [as Silver]
Oh, something in Dilbert. Never mind.
It's not over the dam, it's over the cliff! Funny, huh?
MAMike [as Silver]
Ah, well forget it.
MLMary Lee
I'm scared... Fred's trying to send me to Tijuana.
CACrow [as Mary Lee]
And trade me for a chicken.
SAServo [as Mary Lee]
Maybe I can push Herb Alpert over a cliff...
[The opening card reads "ANHEUSER-BUSCH, INCOPORATED Manufacturers of Quality Low Temperature Cabinet Makers presents"]
Oh yeah, and high-octane suds! Woo!
[As cardboard cut-outs of the main focus points of the short appear one-by-one]
You, the ice cream manufacturer.
Up against the wall! Spread 'em!
...the frozen food distributor.
Ben and Jerry before Woodstock.
And you, the food retailer.
CACrow [as announcer]
These three people will square off against--
Yes, today's problem is merchandising...
Over three kinds of vanilla!
...to sell in high volume, for high profit.
[Cut to a shot of a stack of ice cream boxes]
Frozen products are impulse items...
I'll take it, I'll take it!
And impulse buying is primarily...
[The stack suddenly drops]
...an emotional decision.
[As a freezer fades in with no lights surrounding it, everyone imitates the theme from "2001: A Space Odyssey".]
Yes, this is the answer: a real selling wizard.
[The lights go on]
[as the lights finish] Rip-off!
[Talking about the advantage of easily taking inventory with the freezer]
One glance, and you know if the cabinet requires filling.
Just one glance, don't look back.
[The camera pans down, showing the "Selling Wizard's" lovely gams]
Boy, she's got a big scab on her knee.
Gentlemen! If you please!
MAMike [as Narrator]
You filthy degenerates!
