[Doc and party get ready to leave the backwater country store.]
Ya'll like to contribute to our fund for the War against Northern Aggression?
S10Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues
[Tim is walking around shirtless]
CCrow
Geez, kid, do a push-up.
[In a flashback scene, the Creature and a farmer stare at each other through the farmer's barn.]
MAMike [as the Creature]
Well, I'll be damned... farmers do exist!
[Shirtless Tim walks up to someone's front door.]
CACrow [as Tim]
Can I borrow a cup of shirt?
[Tanya, with long dark hair and apparently wearing no undergarments, runs through the woods.]
Lucy Bra-less!
[Doc is looking at his "radar" set up in the woods as his two assistants test it out.]
CACrow [as Doc]
Boy, Tim's a real strong blip on my gaydar.
. . .
DDoc
[over CB] Tim?
CACrow [as Tim]
Yes, Dad...I mean professor-who-is-in-no-way-my-dad-giving-me-a-role-in-his-movie?
[Doc is in the woods, as Leslie watches for the creature on the radar back at base camp.]
LLeslie
[over the walkie-talkie] He's close to you!
DDoc
My left or my right?
Well, which way are you facing, idiot?
[Doc finishes narrating as his group begins walking up some stairs to Crenshaw's place.]
MAMike [as Doc]
I put Tim in the front of the line to absorb the first hail of bullets.
LLeslie
[Over a walkie-talkie.] Tanya, do you read?
MAMike [as Tanya]
Third grade level!
S10Track of the Moon Beast
[Archaeology professor Johnny "Longbow" Salina and his students walk off after a prank.]
Um… why do you call him "Johnny Longbow"?
PPaul
Well, it's his Indian name. His tribal one.
MAMike [as Paul]
Like Wahoo McDaniel.
PPaul
It translates: "warrior's bow that... reaches long to its mark".
CACrow [as Kathy]
Oh! Is he seeing anyone?
[During one of Johnny Longbow's long-winded monologues, thunder rumbles in the distance.]
CACrow [as God]
Stop talking, Johnny Longbone(sic)!
[A meteor has just landed right by Paul and Kathy.]
Paul, are you alright? What happened?
She gets off the ground saying, "What happened?" a lot.
[Kathy is worried about a cut on Paul's forehead.]
PPaul
I don't live too far from here. And I have lots of antiseptics at my place.
Dozens! No, hundreds of antiseptics!
Your place?
PPaul
Yeah, my place.
I call it "Antiseptic Manor."
Fine. Your place, then.
[Thunder rumbles.]
CACrow [as God]
Not his place! Fornicators!
[Paul zeroes in on Kathy's face for a smooch.]
SAServo [as Paul]
Let me explain by auguring my tongue into your mouth.
[Paul rises after fainting.]
PPaul
I guess I blacked out.
Um, excuse me, you African-Americaned out.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.