[Over a shot of the forest]
[singing] But the trees can't hide their feelings if they like the way they're made...
CCrow
[stern] Mike, stop it now.
...Sorry.
S9The Touch of Satan
S9Gorgo
[A scuba diver is seen on screen.]
This new "Cool Ranch" flavored scuba air isn't very good.
[A ship is tossed terribly in a tremendous storm. The scene fades out.]
And...?
[Cut to the next day, as the ship calmly sits in the water.]
Oh, they're fine!
CCrow
[singing to "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"]
They got into port and everyone was okay.
They went out for lunch and felt better...
[Sam and Joe enter an old-fashioned peasant village.]
SSam
Looks like they're pretty hard hit.
Poor dopes, they appear every hundred years and get hit by a huge storm.
[Sam and Joe call McCartin's bluff about permits. He sits down, thoughtfully.]
MMcCartin
After you load with water… you leave. Tonight!
JJoe
The sooner, the better!
SAServo [as Joe/Cheerleader]
The tighter the sweater! / The boys depend on us!
CACrow [as Sam/Cheerleader]
Yay!
[Gorgo is seen terrorizing a small Irish village.]
Poor Irish--if they aren't being invaded by Cromwell or infested by leprechauns they've got this guy!
[After breaking free of his nets Gorgo swings his tail at what looks like an elephant, which blows up.]
CCrow
I didn't know elephants exploded on impact!
[Gorgo's mother Ogra begins rampaging through London.]
Maybe Mary Poppins flies in and kicks his ass?
That I'd pay to see.
[The Bots reminisce about the Dorkin's Circus scenes during the endless military vs. Gorgo battles.]
I wish they'd get back to Dorkin.
CCrow
Yeah! There was a lot of Dorkin at the beginning of the movie. They should show that some more.
Sure! I mean, who wouldn't rather watch Dorkin than this stock footage?
CCrow
Yeah. I-- I'd just really, really like to watch people dorkin'.
D'oh!
Hey! Tha-- that doesn't even work!
CCrow
[lewdly] Oh, it works, Mike. Heh heh heh.
That's enough, you two. Enough Dorkin! I--
[Mike throws his hands up in exasperation.]
You know what I mean. Stop it.
[After the latest attack by the British military on Gorgo's mom proves ineffective.]
Pacifist or not, Gandhi's gotta be chuckling right now.
[Sean watches Gorgo and his mother leave the blazing ruins of London and head back to the ocean]
SSean
She's going back now--back to the sea.
SAServo [as Sean]
...With the blood of many on her scales.
[The film starts with a message about the filming locations of London and Dublin.]
"London, England"... Yeah, which was paid for by exorbitant taxes on Rod Stewart and Pete Townshend.
(after the message fades) Wait, I just got three words into it!
[Over the title screen]
The Vice President's unimaginative campaign slogan.
MAMike [as Gorgo]
McRoar! O'Growl!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.