Jeff quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000 ... TV Quotes Database

[Rick Knight confronts his brother Jeff about an incriminating videotape.]

You knew about the tape, didn't you?

JJeff

Yeah. You saw the tape?

Yeah, and it's scary.

CACrow [as Rick]

Adam Sandler's in it.

[Jeff tries to rewrite his song.]

MAMike [as Jeff]

What would Liberace do? Nah, better not do that.

One of 32 short films about... this guy.

CACrow [as Jeff]

Let's see. What rhymes with "blue balls"?

MAMike [as Jeff]

Wait a minute! I work for Otis Elevators! I don't write music!

[A dissolve turns an empty ashtray into an overflowing one.]

Mickey Rourke came over to help.

No inspiration, darling?

JJeff

I couldn't write "The Farmer in the Dell" today.

CACrow [as Mary]

Why would you wanna write him?

[Mary is trying to dial the phone, but keeps on getting busy signals. Mike and the Bots imitate the opening notes of a song.]

[singing] Money...

JJeff

Wait a minute, do that again!

MAMike [as Jeff]

Yeah, okay. Now rustle your skirt, and flap your arms, and run the vaccuum.

JJeff

Yeah! Yeah! Why not?

SAServo [as Jeff]

I'll call someone to write the song!

Jeff quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000