Narrator quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

A man murdered, a woman's purse.

Servo

A thin plot, endlessly restated.

The beast, finding his victims gone, unleashes his fury.

Ah, fudge!

Joseph Javorsky.

Aren't you ashamed of yourself?

Noted scientist.

Family man, and your candidate for city council!

Mike

So? What about him?!

[on Joe's fiance Helen] She was the kind of girl who'd be happy just being "Mrs. Joe".

Mike

So his name is Joe Joe?

She was a clever dreamer, so she arranged for little Joe to be there to keep her from getting lonesome when Daddy was away.

Speaking of accidents...

[during funeral sequence] Then there was Lenny, who wouldn't be going to college that fall...

[curtly] ...because he's DUMB!

[on the frailty of time] A minor accident may take a few days away, a major one a few years...

Mike

A disastarous one would be cool to watch!

Once again, outstanding features that Anheuser... [film skip] ...that make for a real selling wizard.

Y'know, I think I'll just buy a thermos.

Sales appeal styling.

The kind of design that beckons customers to see and reach for frozen products.

Plenty of lip and tongue action.

Space saving capacity, that gives maximum storage and selling use of every inch of space.

Mike

Meanwhile, the Soviets were launching Sputnik.

This is a story about the summer George and Betty spent on Uncle Jim's dairy farm.

A cautionary tale.

George and Betty are both excited because this is a very special trip.

They're dropping off the kids and never coming back.

But they're not a bit more excited than Andy and Jane, who live on the farm.

Mike

Poor saps.

Baby chicks, too...

Mike

Hey, they're women-- oh.

Living on a farm makes you hungry and aunt Helen certainly is a good cook.

Given her limitations.

Jerry Lee Lewis joins the family for dinner.

Mike

Ah, yes, now's the time for Uncle Jim's fundamentalist dogma.

But I don't like food!

Look at all the wonderful things to eat.

At restaurants.

It takes all kinds of food to build up muscles and let us bigger and stronger.

Mike

Mostly just butter.

Servo

Susie drains the last of her Dirty Banana.

That's why I'm burning my bra.

Mike

Repressed emotions help the evening pass without incident.

As the summer passed, everything seemed to grow. The corn was knee high on George when he came. Now it's taller than he is.

Servo

George is clearly shrinking.

The summer is over, and George and Betty are waiting for their parents to take them back to the city.

FREEDOM!

Just throw them their winter clothes and then floor it!

Hey, they're driving right by-- Wait! Wait!

Hibiscus and bougainvillea flourish throughout the year.

Mike

As do puppincolakaplookey and flingulahlaylahflinglulalah.

A skilled workforce makes Puerto Rico the largest manufacturer of many computers, and a leader in solid-state technology.

Mike

Things with blinky buttony-type things.