Narrator quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Yes, this is the answer: a real selling wizard.

Servo

Are we in heaven?

[as the lights finish] Rip-off!

And what's the first feature that makes a selling wizard?

Servo

Bosoms!

Sales appeal styling.

Or "S. A. S."

One glance, and you know if the cabinet requires filling.

Servo

Just one glance, don't look back.

And notice how these convient horizontal wire shelves put your product always within buying range.

Servo

GIVE IT TO ME! GIMME!

They may be removed entirely for loading to full-cabient capacity.

But don't put your tongue on it!

Boy, she's got a big scab on her knee.

Gentlemen! If you please!

You filthy degenerates!

Yes, on every count...

Guilty!

This simplified sketch showing a cross-section of the cabinet...

Mike

...makes no sense.

(Midwestern accent) Ah, better plug in the car.

Mike

(singing) And it comes out here...

Servo

WHERE'S MY ICE CREAM?!

In this all-purpose, two-lid utility storage cabinet with 23-cubic-foot storage capacity...

Bodies stack easy.

The monster next appeared in Lovers' Lane.

…to a sold-out crowd!

Everyone who experienced that catastrophe and survived would never go there again.

And those who did not survive such a catastrophe also would not go there again.

George and Andy help Bill feed the pigs every day…

Day after life-sucking day.

This is the fairground, where the fair is held.

Servo

Any questions so far?

Into the truck goes one of the calves that Johnny Olson has raised.

Tell us what they've won, Johnny Olson! [N]

Johnny goes first to see the fish.

I like fish...

Say, these bass would make good fishing! If only they were in the creek back home.

Mike

Well, see, they were in the creek, but they've been caught and that's why they're here.

Servo

Pickles pack the stands for the pickle races!

What's this?

EVIL!

Judging cakes oughta be fun.

… but this woman sucks the joy out of it!