Narrator quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Now, Mother and Daughter put the finishing touches on the dinner.

With strychnine!

Salad needs more butter, Mother!

...he will relax at dinner with those he loves.

But not these people.

They speak with their dad as though they are genuinely glad to see him.

They're not, of course...

Brother seats Junior...

Daughter obsesses with the flowers.

...then helps Mother to her chair, as he would his best girl.

The less said about this, the better.

Junior seats Dad, and Sister seats the dog, and the dog...

Many families throughout the country observe the custom of saying Grace at mealtime.

Please, God, take me now...

Servo

[in a British accent] Field Marshall Montgomery sits down to eat. Yes, it's smashing, it's a good day...

They converse pleasantly while Dad serves.

No, I-- I'll just have Saltines.

I said "pleasantly", for that is the keynote at dinnertime. It is not only good manners, but good sense.

Emotions are for ethnic people.

Pleasant, unemotional conversation helps digestion.

I can't stress "unemotional" enough.

Father serves Mother first, then Daughter.

Let's go to the flowchart for this.

And be sure to make a plate for the narrator.

No one starts eating until Father has served himself.

THIS MEANS YOU!

Always wait for the hostess...

to seat you.

...in this case Mother, to begin eating before you start.

Father feigns eating, draws Junior out, then disowns him!

Be sure to tell Mother how good the food is.

...even as you gag on it.

It stinks!

Don't monopolize the conversation and go on and on without stopping. Nothing destroys the charm of a meal more quickly.

…than having a personality.

Don't make unkind comparisons about your stand[ard of] living. The dinner table is no place for discontent. It makes Dad and Mother uncomfortable and unhappy.

…and they already dislike you enough.

Do you begin to see now how a date with your family can be a truly special occasion?

Do you? DO YOU?

And why Brother and Sister looked forward to the evening?

WELL, DO YOU? BETTER SAY "YES", DAMMIT!

When the dinner hour at home is treated with a certain amount of graciousness and ceremony, it can be memorable. There is no family so poor but that the evening meal can be eaten in an atmosphere of warmth and gentleness.

...and control and repression.

The first thing that surprised me on that ride was th--

Was being sucked through a time portal.

I almost felt I hadn't left home, when we passed a big Sears-Roebuck store.

Servo

Ah-heh! 'Cause it's called "Gran Venta" at home, too!

Another familiar site was a used car lot, full of American autos.

I dropped my pants and bent over a car, just to feel at home!

Sure, it's a different country, and I'm a foreigner here. But the Venezuelans have already made me feel welcome. All I have to do now is lick that language problem.

… and Escobar here.

The idea of this community integration project is to make people independent, instead of having to look to the company for everything.

It's called Venezuelalization.