The Woody Allen story!
Hey, I like my family, as a friend!
“Invasion USA”
In this episode: Mike Nelson (17), Narrator (15), Crow T. Robot (14), Tom Servo (14), Carla (2), Vince (2)
[Reading a list of names in the credits]
CCrow
All of who are orphans.
[Brother looks inside a pot]
What's the matter?
SAServo [as Brother]
THERE'S A RABBIT IN THERE!
CACrow [as Announcer]
We've secretly switched their Folgers coffee...
The women of this family seem to feel that they owe it to the men of the family to look relaxed, rested, and attractive at dinnertime.
MAMike [as Narrator]
So they're unsuspecting when they kill them.
MAMike [as Daughter]
Hi, Mom, I'm pregnant.
[Brother, sporting a slicked-back hair style, cleans his room.]
Brother notices the time, and realizes that he must put things in order, and clean himself up in time for dinner.
MAMike [as Narrator]
He's got to strip and replace the oil in his hair with summer-weight.
Now, Mother and Daughter put the finishing touches on the dinner.
SAServo [as Narrator]
With strychnine!
CACrow [as Daughter]
Salad needs more butter, Mother!
...he will relax at dinner with those he loves.
CCrow
But not these people.
CACrow [as Narrator]
What you are watching should have been edited in the final version. My apologies.
They speak with their dad as though they are genuinely glad to see him.
CACrow [as Narrator]
They're not, of course...
[as the boys talk with their dad]
MAMike [as Junior]
Father, I had a feeling today.
SAServo [as Father]
Well don't, son.
MAMike [as Mother]
Hi, I'm Betty, and I'l be your wife tonight.
[Daughter is still arranging the flowers while the family sits down.]
Brother seats Junior...
CACrow [as Narrator]
Daughter obsesses with the flowers.
...then helps Mother to her chair, as he would his best girl.
MAMike [as Narrator]
The less said about this, the better.
. . .
CACrow [as Narrator]
Junior seats Dad, and Sister seats the dog, and the dog...
SAServo [as Daughter]
Dad, I'm dating a Negro!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.