Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000, page 9 ... TV Quotes Database

SAServo [as Narrator]

Now would be a good time for some phrases... A woman's purse. Flag on the moon. A man murdered. ...I'll check back in a moment.

S6 The Beast of Yucca Flats

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SAServo [as the Beast]

Why, why can't I get a baked potato before five in this town?

S6 The Beast of Yucca Flats

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[The Angels' fight sequences are accompanied by cartoonish boinks and bops.]

Servo

Okay, sound by Hanna-Barbera, fine.

S6 Angels Revenge

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[The musical score apes Also sprach Zarathustra as the Angels' combat van appears.]

Servo

[singing] Vaguely Strauss, but notttt!

S6 Angels Revenge

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Servo

Perhaps booze would alleviate this situation.

S6 A Date with Your Family (short)

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Servo

[as the Alien] "What's that say? 'Lover's Lane: Eight miles'?! AWWWW!"

S6 The Creeping Terror (film)

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Servo

Mmm, good white, hearty white bread for white, white people.

S6 Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm (short)

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[Over the opening title]

Servo

The story of Wisconsin sausage.

S6 Bloodlust! (movie)

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[The opening credits list over three dozen actors.]

Servo

Oh, I know what this is, this is an "I-can't-pay-you-but-I'll-put-your-name-in-the-credits" cast list.

S6 The Skydivers (movie)

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Servo

[as person slouching while making a speech] Women be different than men!

S6 Speech: Platform Posture and Appearance (short)

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[A flock of chickens is hastily gathered around a feeding trough. One of them is actually standing in the trough.]

SAServo [as chicken]

Betty, must you sit in dinner?

S7 The Brute Man

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SAServo [as baby chick]

Hey guys, it's God!

S7 The Brute Man

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SAServo [as chicken]

Hey, pal, feed me, then clean up my poops!

S7 The Brute Man

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["Creeper" Hal Moffett sneaks into the apartment of blind Helen Paige, as usual seated at her piano.]

SAServo [as Moffett]

Uh... look, Helen. Other girls in the sorority asked me to talk to you about your incessant piano playing.

S7 The Brute Man

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[A newspaper headline reads "Philanthropist laid to rest".]

Servo

Ah, look at that. "Philanthropist laid." It's always the philanthropists... rock stars and philanthropists.

S7 The Brute Man

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Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Lines by Tom Servo 301

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