Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000, page 84 ... TV Quotes Database

Played by Kevin Murphy

Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes

2nd most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,542 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Crow T. Robot (818), Mike Nelson (393), Joel Robinson (294)

Scenes with Tom Servo 1,241

HHamlet

Forty thousand brothers could not, with all their quantity of love, make up my sum.

SAServo [as Hamlet]

Fifty thousand, maybe.

S10 Hamlet

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[Hamlet and Laertes prepare to fence.]

HHamlet

Give us the foils.

SAServo [as Hamlet]

We shall some potatoes bake.

S10 Hamlet

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[King Claudius holds out a cup of poisoned wine to Hamlet.]

CClaudius

Here, to thy health.

SAServo [as Claudius]

...coming to a sudden end.

S10 Hamlet

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[Cathy tracks down Dr. Kipling on the ski slopes.]

CCathy

Dr. Kipling?

SAServo [as Cathy]

Rikki-Tikki-Tavi's waiting for you.

. . .

KDr. Kipling

Mrs. Beck...

MAMike [as Kipling]

...you're a loser, baby.

S10 It Lives by Night

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[Cathy, now apparently a bat as well, walks back into the caves to join her husband]

CCrow

Now, wait a minute... how did she turn into a bat? The only contact she had with him was in the hotel and...

[Pause]

CCrow

[horrified] ...Oh, my god.

Tom

[disgusted] GAH!

[They rush out of the theater]

CCrow

OH MY GOD! I get the shower first!

Tom

No, me first!

Mike

Urgh!

S10 It Lives by Night

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[A drunken Bobby makes crude comments about the dancers.]

JJoe

For you, the worst girl in the world is too good.

SAServo [as Bobby]

But I like Tonya Harding!

. . .

[After Joe and Bobby fight, then laugh it off, Bobby stumbles out of the cabin for a date.]

SAServo [as Bobby]

Boy! Defending my misogyny really takes commitment!

S10 Horrors of Spider Island

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[Georgia catches Gary making out with one of the girls]

GGeorgia

Gary!

CACrow [as Georgia]

Your infidelity mildly irritates me!

GGary

This damned heat. I don't know what I'm doing anymore!

SAServo [as Gary]

Sure I was unfaithful, but it was like 87 degrees!

CACrow [as Gary]

It's pretty windy too! And high humidity!

S10 Horrors of Spider Island

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[As Mike is talking at the end of the movie, the screen suddenly goes black, and the music cuts off abruptly.]

Mike

...hey!

[The words "The End" abruptly appear]

Servo

So, you wanna end your movie that way, huh? Ok, get bent! We're outta here!

S10 Horrors of Spider Island

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[After Gilbert discovers he can't even operate his car without springs, Coily appears.]

CCoily

Noooo springs! [laughs]

GGilbert

Awww, gee, Coily, I didn't realize what I was wishing. I'm sorry for everything I said. Can't we call the whole thing off? Isn't there anything I can do? Please let me take back my wish.

CCoily

[rubs chin in thought] Wellll...

MAMike [as Coily]

NO!

CCoily

Okay! I'll do it, just this once! But next time, be careful! Don't ever make that wish again!

. . .

[With that, Coily makes all the springs reappear into existence.]

Servo

So Coily waited all eternity for this moment and he backs down almost instantly?

S10 Squirm

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